imamosaic ...

i call mySelf mosaic watercolor

2012-02-03T14:40:00.000-08:00

I call mySelf mosaic

2012-02-02T01:01:00.000-08:00

I call mySelf mosaic

I lay gently burrowed, shimmering in the snow drifting on the landscape of my winter soul

I see beauty as I peer upon the brokenness I call my life

Each tiny piece of mySelf a colorful glassy light shining in the depths of the darkness found within me

Joy bleeds along deep rosy red lines into my pain spreading warmth to the cold wet earth beneath the blanket of snow

Guide me O mySelf with sparkle and moon-shine along the lighted pathway into the unknown inner expanse

Deep blue awe bubbles up soundlessly to surprise me as wonder sends fingers of delight to rub across my ageless wounds

Scars tingle, the body remembers with melancholy behind dingy lace curtains torn in the mind

Holy fear and dormant terror from ages long gone rise like mist and monsters on the bayou beyond

Earth quakes, snow globe shakes, body breaks ... fragile memories weep and watch the holy pieces gather in silence and community

I see beauty as I peer upon the brokenness of my life

I call mySelf mosaic

Let's Alleviate World Hunger and Poverty!

2012-02-02T00:45:00.000-08:00

Let's make February 2012 the month we more closer to alleviating hunger and poverty in our world.

I plan to give more to my local food pantry: West Houston Assistance Ministries (WHAM Link) The WHAM Food Pantry collects, and distributes non-perishable and perishables food. In 2010, more than 145 tons of food, worth $725,082, helped out 16,584 individuals. Items are provided through regularly scheduled food drives conducted by individuals, churches, schools, businesses and civic and service organizations.

I plan to support our Ashford UMC (Church Link) Youth Group as they celebrate Souper Bowl of Caring (Caring Link) during which youth across the nation working to fight hunger and poverty in their own communities around the time of the Super Bowl football game.

I've made a donation to the United Methodist Committee on Relief Advance #982920 (UMCOR-Link) Supporting programs that address the root causes of hunger and poverty in the US and the world ... Hunger does not exist because the world does not produce enough food. We have the experience and the technology right now to end the problem. The challenge we face is not production of food and wealth, but more equitable distribution. Poverty is the condition in which a person lacks the essentials for a minimum standard of life, such as food.

“If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."
~Mother Teresa~

Justice, Righteousness and Martin Luther King, Jr!

2012-01-16T10:42:00.000-08:00

"Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children"

~Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.~

"True heroes make us better by challenging our misplaced priorities,

expanding our vision of a better world, and inspiring us to pursue the vision.

Martin Luther King did that for me and countless others,

and he continues to be one of my heroes."

~United Methodist Retired Bishop Kenneth L. Carder~

Read Bishop Carder's Reflection on the Ministry with* the Poor Blog

"Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream."

The Prophet Amos (5:24)

When I think of Martin Luther King, Jr. I immediately think of these words of Amos and the vivid and powerful imagery they represent. Dr. King quoted these prophetic words, among others in his Letter from Birmingham Jail dated 16 April 1963 addressed to his fellow clergymen. It is a beautiful, long and poignant letter that challenges me with every reading, especially now as I am a clergywoman.

I am challenged to deepen my love of others and to allow that love to move me to action born of extreme love. Dr. King poses the rhetorical question: Was not Jesus an "extremist" for love? Personally, I have never liked the word "extremist" because it made me fearful of being overwhelmed by something I could not control. That has never been more true than today. As I ponder this deeper call to love and non-violence, I wonder ... am I strong enough to let God's love fill me to the point of "extreme!"

Trembling I realize that love and non-violence requires letting go of control, consciously giving control over to others, and praying fervently, fearfully, and strongly "that justice will roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream."

Life ...

2012-01-13T19:56:00.000-08:00

“Listen--are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?” ~Mary Oliver

World AIDS Day 2011

2011-12-01T21:01:00.001-08:00

Today, I remember my friend, Clel, who died of AIDS over 20 years ago. I miss you, beautiful artist and gentle soul. I find joy in my memories of you and sadness as I remember your life that was way too short.

In your honor, I whisper prayers of remembrance for the 30 million lives that have been claimed by this disease over the last 30 years; and sing prayers of healing for those still living with and affected by HIV and AIDS around the world.

In your honor, I donate to the United Methodist Global AIDS Fund which represents the commitment of United Methodists to end HIV/AIDS in our world through prevention, treatment, care and support.

Thank you, dear friend, for inviting me so long ago to be a more compassionate person to all people.

In the River of My Life

2011-11-09T21:30:00.001-08:00

sitting in the silence of the night

getting a sense of stirrings within

darkness calling

unknown spaces

deep places

sad little girl

who are you?

wondering ... wandering

so much pain in the world

so so much pain inside that little girl

crying ... crying ...crying

deep flowing waters

moving upward

bursting outward

womb of God

fount of birthing

shatters with a piercing cry

pushing forth the healing waters

salty tears ... deep red fears

mix together

flowing along

the river of my life

dear sweet tree

growing so strong

in the river of my life

let your roots drink deeply

of tears, fears and pain

draw them together

into the womb of God

into the center of my soul

into union so mysterious

let my life bloom

with nourishing leaves

of prayers and worship

along the labyrinth

of music and delight

let my life fill to overflowing

with loving relationships

and beauty divine

let me create my life with you

and color the world

with drawings and poetry

that speak of the soul

let my life be a retreat

into the silence of true rest

let my life be a journey

into the action of love so true

dear sweet tree of God

in the river of my life ...

may i always live

MY life and no other

© Image and Poetry by Cindy Serio Nov 2011

If I were ...

2011-10-07T11:34:00.000-07:00

If I were an olive, I'd definitely be an acquired taste!
There is a hardness that has been touched and moved around and pulled out from within me ... for the most part and on more days than not just now ... leaving a gaping hole right through the center of me for the Spirit of Love to pour God's Self into and to change and to move through. I think maybe I'm seeking the "soft" red pimento of LOVE to fill my inner space ... perhaps that IS what moderates the taste ...

Come moderate me, Sweet Mother God. Amen.

And yet ... as I continue to contemplate this olive that is me so interesting, I am noticing that I originally chose a very commercially processed image for myself. However, as I continue to sit with this image of the olive, I suddenly remember the ancient healing properties of the olive ... pressed into oil that pours upon the body and into the soul. Gently I feel the intimacy of being so lovingly massaged and molded ... and I notice that I am no longer empty but filled to overflowing ... with love and light.

"Command the people of Israel to bring you pure oil of pressed olives for the light, to keep the lamps burning continually." Exodus 27:20

Spirit of Hope, massage me and mold me into a vessel of Light andHealing. Amen.

Take a moment to journal and create ...
Let you imagination go and try it!
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, "if I were ..."
Journal as long as it takes to go where you need to go.
Comment and share your ponderings.

peace be with you ...

2011-09-20T12:24:00.000-07:00

Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

I want to BE the PEACE I want to SEE in the World

With each breath I inhale, I want to breathe peace into my own heart

With each breath I exhale, I want to breath Peace into the World

Sept 21 is the International Day of PEACE. How will you welcome peace in your world?

Shalom!

See Overcoming Violence.Org

International Day of Prayer for Peace: Each year on 21 September the World Council of Churches calls churches and parishes to observe the International Day of Prayer for Peace. 21 September is also the United Nations-sponsored International Day of Peace.

I'm gonna to start livin' like an Angel!

2011-09-12T00:32:00.000-07:00

Image & Poetry © Cindy Serio 2011

I'm gonna start livin' like an Angel

Caring deeply ...

for all God's Creation

Gently appearing ...

as a Messenger of Peace

Humbly announcing ...

"Fear Not! God is with you!

My Shadow, My Self

2011-09-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

Collage and Poetry © Cindy Serio 2011

My Shadow, My Self

Touched Deep Within

Scattered Emotions

On the Edge

Touched Deep Within

Don't you want to Know me?

On the Edge

Tenderness Unexpected!

Don't you want to Know me?

Scattered Emotions

Tenderness Unexpected!

My Shadow, My Self

Haiku 4

2011-08-07T20:13:00.000-07:00

Image and haiku © Cindy Serio 2011

summer mushroomswild

explodingred-orange orb

beautiful reveal

Haiku 3

2011-08-04T20:17:00.000-07:00

Image and haiku © Cindy Serio 2011

summer drought brings death

brown leaves crumbling decay dust

earth welcomes gently

Haiku 2

2011-07-29T20:44:00.000-07:00

Image and haiku © Cindy Serio 2011

Summer Rain Drops Fall

Deep Pink Flowers Fragrant Sweet

Drink Deeply Grace-Full

Haiku

2011-07-04T23:37:00.000-07:00

Image and haiku © Cindy Serio 2011

the summer sun shines

unfolding petals covered

with specks of pollen

Haiku is a form of Japanese nature poetry. A haiku written in English is written in 3 lines with 17 syllables with a pattern of 5-7-5.

Like a Willow Tree

2011-06-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

Like a Willow Tree, I am
Planted in the good, kind earth
Bending in the gusty wind
Inhaling the breath of God

Perched on my
long flowing branches
assorted birds of many colors…
red birds happy
Singing God’s praises
yellow birds hungry
Singing for their supper
blue birds wounded
singing no more

Dragonfly Dragonfly
I see you duck
Dragonfly Dragonfly
I see you dart
In and out
Out and about
come quickly to keep me company
then quickly you’re off to light on another

Why O Why, dear Spirit
do I so often feel like
an ugly tree weed
out of place, armed and ready
for someone to cut me down
toss me out, rip me up
from my tender home in the good, good earth

Weeping, Weeping
Like a Willow Tree I am!

©July 2004, rewritten June 2011

Remembering Mom on Mother's Day

2011-05-08T17:59:00.000-07:00

Mom ... Dad, my brothers, my sister, and little me!

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” - Rajneesh

So ... what happens when a mother dies?

We miss you, Mom ...

Finding A Golden Life-Giving Nougat

2011-05-04T22:02:00.000-07:00

As I engage in the Prayer of Examen, I often have trouble identifying the life-draining moments of life because I always seem to find a golden life-giving nougat in every situation. I think that is my way of coping with life.

I've been praying a lot lately ... and it's not that I don't pray a lot all the time LOL:) and yet ... the groaning of creation with earthquakes and tsunamis across the world and tornadoes and flooding in the heartland of the US and fires running rampant with the drought leaving the land parched in Texas ... along with the groaning of family, friends, and acquaintances in the throes of death, disease, addiction, incarceration, and homelessness ... well let's just say I'm carrying around a journal to hold all of the prayers I can no longer hold in my head!

Is it that there are more people, places, and situations in need ... or am I just paying attention these days ... deep sigh

And yet ... I know that the recent death of OBL (I can't bear the name) is calling me deep within myself to reflect and pray and seek God amidst the celebration of death that I can't seem to wrap my head around.

I have wondered and I have prayed. Dear God, how do you feel about all of this? All I ever really want is to know as I pray is how God feels and search my own soul to see if I am in sync with the Holy One whom I love and who loves me ... celebrate? I can't feel it. All I feel is this tremendous grief and sadness that suddenly gives way to weeping ... in some way I sense that my own humanity has been stripped away to reveal ... what? I don't know.

I am so grateful for the way if all unfolded without massive numbers of collateral casualties BUT then I think about all of the death and destruction that lead to the death on this one man ... and it just makes me feel so sad ... I cannot find the life-giving nougat!

I woke up this morning praying over and over ... Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. **This is my natural way of deeply sinking into prayer with The Jesus Prayer.

As I write and pray and think and wonder, I just want to weep and weep.

Suddenly, I find the golden life-giving nougat in each healing tear that makes a salty trail to the floor of my soul ... May the Spirit of Healing Peace descend upon the Soul of the World with each tear that falls from the eyes of humanity.

The Journey to Jerusalem ...

2011-04-20T17:59:00.000-07:00

Lent has been a L...O...N...G journey this year. I've been offering a weekly Labyrinth Walk through Lent at Mission Bend United Methodist Church in Houston. It was a Lenten Spiritual Discipline for me. The Labyrinth was open from 1:00 pm to 8:00 pm ...

On Holy Tuesday I created an interactive prayer walking experience which featured the Labyrinth. Hear this prayer ... Jesus, come join us in our journey as we seek your will for this community in this environment. Teach us to love each other as you love us, to give ourselves as you give yourself that the kingdom of God might be made present to all. Amen. I created in the spirit of this prayer which I learned as an active member of the Kairos Prison Ministry International community.

I hoped that people would find this sense of taking the journey with Jesus as they walked. In this case we walk with Jesus on the path leading to the cross. Although there is no way to get a real sense of the physical journey we took, I share it with you here ...

A JOURNEY OF PRAYER AND REFLECTION

Following Jesus’ triumphal entry into the city of Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, he continued to teach, preach, and heal. The disciples prepared the Passover meal, as they were directed. Before that … Jesus sat and contemplated the city of Jerusalem. The city would soon be destroyed. Jesus was grieving because Jerusalem had not responded to his declaration of the kingdom and God’s work of salvation in the city. For this reason, Jesus begins holy week in pain and grief as he prays and laments.

To continue you have to take the small "read more" under the photo

The WEEPING Luke 19:41-42

Take a pinch of salt. Sprinkle it on your tongue. Take a few moments to really taste the salt. How would you describe the way the salt makes you feel? Remember a time when you wept tears streamed down your face. Remember the taste of your tears.

If you have never wept like Jesus wept … let the taste of the salt on your tongue enlighten you to the pain that may be hidden within you. Let any feelings of pain or grief you have right now emerge from within you. Hold your feelings within your heart in the way an ancient tear bottle held the tears of deep grief.

As you continue to the next station on your journey of prayer and reflection, be sensitive and compassionate to the emerging pain and grief that resides within you.

The ANOINTING Mark 14:3-9

Pick up the anointing bowl and swirl the oil around in the bowl.

Remember the woman and her deep understanding of what Jesus needed. Allow yourself to feel with anticipation what lies ahead.

Dip your finger in the oil and rub a tiny bit into the palm of your hand. Smell the fragrance of the oil and envision Jesus as the perfumed oil was poured upon his head. As the fragrance envelops you, imagine yourself in the scene of the story.

As you contemplate the story in this way, which person in the room do you identify with? Let yourself feel as that person would feel.

As you continue to the next station on your journey of prayer and reflection, notice how your own feelings begin to deepen in connection with the feelings of Jesus in the darkness he faces.

The BETRAYAL Matthew 26:14-16, 49 and 27:5

Pick up a silver coin ... a “piece of silver.” Remember how many pieces of silver Judas got for his betrayal? Think about a time when greedy or selfish emotions made you do something you normally wouldn’t do. How did that work for you?

Drop the coin back into the container and then reach in to pick up a bunch of coins … maybe 30 … and drop them into the bowl.

Listen as you drop the pieces of silver into the bowl … one by one or by the handful. How much would it take for you to betray your faith? Has there ever been a time in your life when you were driven to despair as Judas was? Remember how you made it past your despair.

As you continue to the next station on your journey of prayer and reflection, remember there is no betrayal that God will not forgive.

The SERVANT John 13:4-15

Water is a powerful spiritual symbol with many different meanings. When Jesus washes the disciple’s feet, he gives them a symbol of servant leadership. He says, “Since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each others feet.”

Reach out and touch the water: Remember your baptism … you are a beloved child of God, beautiful to behold. Reach out and touch the water: Remember the living water … the spirit of God who dwells within you. Reach out and touch the water. Remember a time when someone served you, and like Peter … you protested. As you move on in your journey, you are invited to walk the Labyrinth as you seek God’s will through prayer and holy struggle.

The MOUNT OF OLIVES ... accompanied by the disciples, Jesus left the Upper Room and went to the Mount of Olives Luke 22:39-46

The Garden of Gethsemane was located on the Mount of Olives. Olives eaten from the tree are bitter to the taste. Take one of the olives and imagine that kind of bitterness as you eat it. Remember the bittersweet struggle of Jesus praying and struggling in the garden of olives as he sought the will of God.

As you begin your Labyrinth Walk, enter into the same spirit of prayerful struggle as you seek God’s will. As you walk along the path of the labyrinth, notice the fragile beauty of the flowers along the way. Notice the strength and character of each rock. Pick up a rock to carry with you as you journey along your way.

The GARDEN OF GETHSEMANE ... Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened Jesus. He prayed more fervently ...

In the midst of the garden, envision the place where Jesus knelt and prayed and struggled as he prepared himself to do the will of God. Have you ever prayed into the night … struggling with something you knew would happen … but didn’t want? Remember how fragile you felt, perhaps as a solitary flower on the path. What gave you the strength to face your struggles and move on in your journey? Take the rock you picked up and write an encouraging word on it to leave behind in the garden to strengthen others who will follow.

As you continue on your journey, remember your bittersweet struggles. Pick up a flower along the way to leave at the cross as symbol of your willingness to offer yourself to God as Jesus did.

*This was the base of a large cross but the photo didn't come out well ...

Rhythm of Life

2011-02-14T08:36:00.000-08:00

Rising ... I rise with You

From the Chaos comes ... In the beginning, the Spirit of God hovers over the chaos of my waters. let there be light. and morning comes

Living ... I live with You

Storm Water Gentle Rain Peace ... In the image of God, I am created. God blesses me ... live and love and be fruitful ... live, it is good

Resting ... I rest with You

Temple of God's Light ... God finishes and calls to me. God rests. be still and know that I am God

------------------------------
A Commentary and Invitation: Here I am working with rhythm and rule. For living my life, I feel a natural three-fold interior rhythm in my soul. There is a circularity or a spiraling sense as well ... an ebb and flow with a gentle pause.

What about you? How would you express your own natural rhythm in words or images?

If you need a little help to start ... here is my process but listen to the rhythms of your own heart and allow your creative spirit to soar: I took a deep breath as I set my intention. Then, I pondered my own deep rhythm as long as I felt the need … let images or words arise as they are ready. For me the image emerged first. And then the words … I started “word-working” with a haiku and painted it into my image. A traditional English haiku is simple poetry, a writing expressed in three lines. Line 1=5 syllables, Line 2=7 syllables, Line 3=5 syllables. For more info on haiku and other poetry techniques, visit AHApoetry.   Next, I “named” the hours of my rhythm. Finally, I searched the scripture tucked away in my heart and in “midrash” technique interpreted what emerged for the prayers of my daily hours.

Note: I've been participating in a 6-week online contemplative creative community "retreat" during which I've been inspired through many creative prompts by Christine Valters Paintner. Visit her Abbey of the Arts to learn more about transformative living through contemplation and expressive arts.

Interior Castle

2011-02-07T22:16:00.000-08:00

Let nothing disturb you,
nothing frighten you,
all things are passing.
God never changes.
Patience always conquers.
Whoever has God lacks nothing,
for God alone suffices.

-- Teresa of Avila

Teresa of Avila was a Spanish mystic and Carmelite nun who lived in the 16th century. In her famous work about the inner journey, The Interior Castle, she says, "the soul is like a castle made exclusively of diamond or some other very clear crystal. In this castle are a multitude of dwellings ..."

I think the soul as Teresa speaks of it sounds very beautiful. And I wonder, "how we can comprehend this beauty within ourselves?" One of the ways we can begin to fathom these deeper interior movements is to engage our right brain in a creative activity. Creating a collage is a way of allowing our unconscious to speak to us. Perhaps you can create a collage mosaic by just looking at what I've done. Perhaps you need further instructions. Take this link to "Collage MOSAIC Creation" on my website for more detailed instructions.

Remember ... Let nothing disturb you!

wild flowers and weary wanderers

2011-01-25T10:39:00.000-08:00

walking in the border lands

where wild flowers run rampant

and weary wanderers are tempted

petals weep

and pilgrims listen

the story unfolds

with more questions than answers

jagged edges

and shards of light

tear at the heart

of this sleepy traveler

love emerges

like a gentle rain

giving life

to wild flowers

"Living on the edges means recognizing those places and experiences

that do not offer me easy answers, those fierce edges of life where

things are not as clear-cut as I hope for them to be."

Christine Valtners Paintner

Inner Wisdom

2011-01-23T21:25:00.000-08:00

Peace ...how can i find rest for my soul?

Light ...how can I nurture my deepest longing to be close to Presence?

Chaos ...why do I struggle so?

The Journey Within

2011-01-19T00:53:00.000-08:00

The Light Shines!

2010-12-20T22:52:00.000-08:00

The Light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not overcome it. (John 1:5)

Longing for Light, we wait in darkness.

Longing for Truth, we turn to you.

Make us your own, your holy people.

Light for the world to see.

Christ, be our Light!

Shine in our hearts.

Shine through the darkness.

Christ be our Light!

Written by Bernadette Farrell, British Catholic Hymn writer

Follow this link for a creative YouTube montage of Christ be our Light

Visionary Women "Suffering Artist" Day

2010-12-10T01:08:00.000-08:00

Once again Julia Cameron, in Vein of Gold, has taken our Visionary Women to a different location, literally! In her chapter "Basic Black" Cameron encouraged us not to take ourselves so seriously and to have creative fun with some "attitude." As you can see from the picture, some of us have more attitude than the others. While Cameron did suggest that we dress all in black and go out, in public no less, with the persona of the suffering artist ... she didn't say we'd look like we were getting ready to rob the Museum of Art (we are artists after all, what else would we rob, a bank???) and that made us laugh and laugh and laugh! When I cut across the parking lot on the way to lunch, I had to admit that I was volunteering to drive the getaway car.

One of our talented artist friend made T-shirts for us with a message for all of our well-meaning friends and strangers who have taken on the job of helping us transform ourselves: "What other people think of me is none of my business" We did have a lot of fun ... maybe next time you can join us!

Celebraing Life on WORLD AIDS DAY

2010-12-01T13:35:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time long long years ago I had a friend. I was young. He was young. We were all young! It was the 70's and life was wild and crazy and fun because we were so young! My friend was quite simply, beautiful. His beauty began in his heart and love poured out into the world every time he smiled. He was an amazing artist and an imaginative theatrical performer. O how I secretly loved that little twinkle in his eyes when he began to work his magic and talk me into something.

My friend loved the Phantom of the Opera. One day a group of us were hanging out. Suddenly (it seems) standing before us was an old, large abandoned house. My friend's imagination took off. Yes, he persuaded us to find a way to sneak into that house with the signs that said, "Condemned. Stay Out!" Although the details are lost in the deep recesses of my mind, I believe the house was two or three stories high. I know there was an attic with many secret spaces. This old house had a lovely rounded wooden staircase.


	As I've written my story today, I remember being drawn to this picture I found in a magazine. I spent time with it and I interpreted it ... it looks much like the staircase in the old house. I've used it before and shared the poetry I wrote as I meditated with it. Take this link to read the poetry: Secrets of the Spiral Staircase

The massive staircase took center stage around which a collection of sparsely furnished rooms revolved around and around, connecting like a monstrous maze, delightful and deceiving! Darkness prevailed in the old house because the windows were boarded up. The sunshine sent fingers of precious light streaming through the cracks inviting the shadows to dance and come alive to scare us out of our wits at just the right moments. My friend told us about the Phantom as he invited us to re-create the story with him. Of course, he was always the Phantom. And I was sometimes Christine. As the Phantom, my friend came alive in that house so shrouded in darkness. I saw the real young man emerge in the tortured dialogue of the Phantom. I saw him come alive in ways that he could not as we walked in a world so blinded by artificial light that it rips your persona into pieces if you dare to be different. I think perhaps in that old house and in the Phantom's skin, my friend felt safe enough to allow all of his emotions pour forth. As he personified the soulful Phantom, he grew into an authentic person ...

In the 70's people didn't talk about being gay. He never told me. It was always here, like that proverbial pink elephant, but we never talked about it. I wonder if he wanted to talk about it. I wonder if he thought my friendship and love for him would disappear if he told me who he really was. One day my friend left our little town. He said he just needed to "find" himself. He became an artist in New York, and I hear he did really well, but we lost touch ... I wasn't there because I had gone off to "find" my own self. I guess we all have to do that sometimes. A few (way too few) years later, my friend finally came home ... to die.

AIDS is an ugly killer. AIDS runs rampant throughout the world. More than 33 million men, women, and children have died from AIDS. Women and children are especially vulnerable victims due to gender and age related issues. What can we do about this global crisis? We can work together. United Methodists are stepping up to provide a tangible response to the HIV/AIDS crisis through the United Methodist Global AIDS Fund. This fund represents the commitment of every United Methodist to put a stop to HIV/AIDS in our world. In honor of my daughter's 22nd birthday today and in memory of my friend, I have already made a donation. If you or someone you know has been touched by the AIDS crisis in the world, and if you feel called to do so, you can take this link and give to the UM Global AIDS Fund, UMCOR Advance #982345

Today I celebrate the life of my own Angel of Music!

whose life changed my life.

I am more tolerant.

I am more understanding.

I am more loving.

I am more generous.

Praise God from whom all Blessings flow!

AMEN

Connections. We are all connected, connected to one other.

2010-10-31T00:03:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time when I was very young (in the 1970's) I read a book called Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee and the story of Black Elk touched my heart so much that I read his book, Black Elk Speaks.   These books had a formative impact on me as my eyes were opened and my heart felt his pain.

As I was preparing to lead morning worship in the Piney Woods of central Louisiana, I walked out onto the Pavilion overlooking the lake nestled among the pine trees. In an instant I was transported in my mind back to my childhood ... laying under the pine trees of Southern Arkansas, reading about Black Elk ... tears streaming down my face.

Native American religion is “a thing of the heart." Prayers are said with the heart and are carried upon the wind ... thoughts for the heart, the soul and the mind ... Prayers that call upon us to remember who we are, where we come from and where we are going ... as we journey down the pathway of life.

It reminds me of what I have been taught about the Hebrew meaning of heart as the "center of one's being." And what about that old saying, "Home is where the heart is."

Connections. We are all connected, connected to one other.

It reminds me of the Ubuntu Theology of the great South African Episcopal Bishop, Desmond Tutu. Ubuntu as I understand it, means … "I am what I am because of what we all are together."   Somewhere deep in my soul I know that if even one person in the world is suffering, I am suffering ... even if I don't know it.

Connections. We are all connected, connected to one other.

It reminds me of the words of the great writer and follower of Christ, Paul who said in 1 Corinthians 12:12-13 … For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit … One Spirit

Connections. We are all connected, connected to one other.

I invite you to open your heart and pray this prayer by Chief Seattle in the Native American tradition. It is called the Prayer to the Four Directions ... adapted with inclusive language:

Great Spirit of Light, come to me out of the East with the power of the rising sun. Let there be light in my words, let there be light on my path that I walk. Let me remember always that you give the gift of a new day. And never let me be burdened with sorrow by not starting over again.

Great Spirit of Love, come to me with the power of the North. Make me courageous when the cold wind falls upon me. Give me strength and endurance for everything that is harsh, everything that hurts, everything that makes me squint. Let me move through life ready to take what comes from the north.

Great Life-Giving Spirit, I face the West, the direction of sundown. Let me remember everyday that the moment will come when my sun will go down. Never let me forget that I must fade into you. Give me a beautiful color, give me a great sky for setting, so that when it is my time to meet you, I can come with glory.

Great Spirit of Creation, send me the warm and soothing winds from the South. Comfort me and caress me when I am tired and cold. Unfold me like the gentle breezes that unfold the leaves on the trees. As you give to all the earth your warm, moving wind, give to me, so that I may grow close to you in warmth. Humanity did not create the web of life, each one but a strand in it. Whatever one does to the web, one does to the self.   Amen.

And Amen and Amen ...

Spider! Spider!

2010-10-16T01:27:00.000-07:00

Spider! Spider!

Spinning your Web

Spinning Spinning

Intricate Patterns

Delicate Gossamer

Gilded Edges

Shining in the Evening Sky

A Sunset Backdrop

A Lonely Job

For a Solitary Spider

Longing for Others

To journey with

On the Sinister Pathway

of those Silky Strands

Spider! Spider!

Morning Glories and Mom

2010-10-16T01:16:00.000-07:00

My Mom loved flowers ... when I was a little girl, I remember the myriad of Marigolds she planted. I remember them because of their strong smell. I didn't like to smell them but they were very hardy my Mom told me. I did love to smell the ruby red roses that grew at the edge of the house and how they made the most beautiful bouquets. I remember how we pinned them to our dresses, she and I, on Mother's Day.

I remember the fascinating Four O' Clocks because they knew what time to open their delicate purple petals to the afternoon sun. They were always on time! I remember the beautiful blue Morning Glories climbing and winding up and up the trellis by the gently sloping porch at the side of our house on dead man's curve ... yes, they really did call it that although no one died while I lived there. Those Morning Glories ... they were quite simply ... glorious! As I walked among the flowers at the Inn Above Onion Creek ... this week on retreat ... suddenly I saw beautiful blue Morning Glories and I remembered Mom ... again. She would have loved them!

Remembering Mom on her Birthday ...

2010-09-28T07:59:00.000-07:00

Three years ago we were celebrating Mom's 80th Birthday. I think we knew it would be her last ... I think she enjoyed it. Perhaps what I know the most about my mom is that she was the very best "Grandma" ever. And as I sit holding my brand new grandson, I know I'll never be the Grandma she was ... I'll simply be that Grandma that I am ... singing made up songs and reading books to a three week old. I wonder if my mom ...

Well, there we are, mom and me. This is the way I like to remember Mom ... young and beautiful. And holding a baby. My mom, she loved babies ... children and family were her passion. I guess there wasn't much she wouldn't do for us. I probably didn't appreciate her the way she deserved to be appreciated. But in my own way, I loved her. And so today, I shed a few tears and I take a deep breath and I look into the eyes of my own grandson and I love with the love that she loved with ... Thanks Mom for loving me in the only way you knew how to love.

Have you ever sat and pondered love? Whose love is it that permeated your being and made you who you are? Whose love personifies God's love for you?

In The Naked Now, Richard Rohr writes, "If you have never experienced human love, it will be very hard for you to access God as Love. If you have never let God love you, you will not know how to love humanly in the deepest way." (page 140)

In Romans 8:39 Paul writes, "No power in the sky above or in the earth below--indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Thanks God for loving me so that I might learn to love more deeply every day ...

New Life!

2010-09-13T09:56:00.000-07:00

Easton Matthew Serio

Precious little Easton Matthew, May the music of the psalms

resonate in your soul forever as you bask in God's love for you

O Lord, you ...know everything about me ...
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head ...

your hand will guide me

      and your strength will support me.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
      and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
      Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
      as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
      Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
      before a single day had passed.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
      They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
      they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up, you are still with me! Amen

Grandma Cindy praying excerpts from Psalm 139

Cat on a hot ... asphalt roof!

2010-09-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

Just saw the cutest thing ... Moley the Cat sitting on the roof ... MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!

Then again ... perhaps it's a weird alien cat from outer space that just landed on the roof ...
Can you see those blue/green shining eyes ...
Then again ... maybe it's an artifact ... warehouse 13 call me!
Then again ... maybe I've been watching too much TV ... ya think?

A Candlelight Labyrinth Walk

2010-08-29T23:50:00.000-07:00

One of the most beautiful memories I have is walking the Labyrinth at Chartres Cathedral in the Candlelight. Perhaps one day I'll write about it ...

but for now ... let me tell you about the candlelight labyrinth walk I offered this past weekend to a group of spiritual seekers steeped in the sounds of sheer silence. The photos do not do this labyrinth vision of light justice ...

While it wasn't the cathedral, the dance of over 100 candles gently invited our pilgrims onto holy ground ... as the last person rounded the first corner, I felt the familiar tug on my heart to join the community in this walk ... dearest God, here I am, yes!

two steps forward and one step back ...

o how like the journey of life!

Two steps forward moving in rhythm o so slowly ...

one step back, two steps forward, one step back ...

I surrender into a meditation of "release"

and there it is, the great expanse

two steps forward nothing ... nothing ...

one step back nothing ...

a great expanse of space in the nothing-ness as

I reach the rose "window" center ...
the center of God ... the center of my soul ...
and I am at home ... within myself.

I "receive" ... clarity,
love and strength for the journey

And I "return"
with each dancing step of the pilgrim
I am filled with the Love of God!
Amen!

SOLITUDE

2010-07-28T14:51:00.000-07:00

"Solitude is the furnace of transformation."

The Way of the Heart: Desert Spirituality and Contemporary Ministry

by Henri Nouwen, page 25

It used to bother me. The chaos that emerges when I spend several days in silence ... and it does take several days for my chaotic shadow self to emerge. Although 2 or 3 days is good rest and much happens, it really does take 5-7 days for my true self to shed all of the outer layers of protection in order to feel safe enough to emerge. After a week back in the world of ministry and meetings, I realize I didn't get where I wanted to get on my last stretch of silence. I got a vision but I didn't get the realization ... I didn't feel. Yet perhaps for now all I need in the vision! Transformation awaits ...

Initial Concept of the Furnace of Transformation

Luke 12:35-40

As I engaged in Lectio Divina ... I heard, "Be ready and keep your lamps burning" in the first verse and I could go no further ... as I began to meditate I heard God say in the depths of soul

Keep the flame burning ...

Keep the flame burning ... Here I am standing once again looking into the mirror of my soul ... looking at the 2 sides of me. And wondering, dear Mother God, where are you in all of me? Out of the ashes and the brokenness shall rise a great light ... to reveal a new path ... a path that leads to new life. Both sides are broken ... I know ... but only one shows her face in the light of the day. Dear dear Shadow needs silence and darkness to come out and dance ...


Final Painting of the Furnace of Transformation

Luke 4:42

As I engaged in Lectio Divina ... I heard, "At daybreak Jesus went out to a solitary place." Jesus breathed in the fire of the Spirit as he walked to a solitary place. A solitary place. Solitude ... the furnace of transformation! Solitude, no words only silence ... the silence that gives peace not war in the silence the war of words rages on until they fade away and there is only no words ... no words fade away until there is only the breath of God ... Spirit fills the void left by the silence as the day breaks ... starting over again ... one more time

4 days in the Silence ...

2010-07-22T23:40:00.000-07:00

I just spent about 4 days in the silence ... Remember Elijah's journey ... "Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence."

I love Elijah. His journey into the presence of God through sheer silence mirrors my own ... every time! As I let go of all of the outside influences I certainly feel like I have sustained a great wind, an earthquake, and a fire before I am able to settle into that place where it is just me and God in the depths.

On my first day I prayed a prayer with Howard Thurman as my newest companion in the silence ... I abandon all that I think I am and all that I hope to be and all that I believe I possess. I let go of the past. I withdraw my grasping hand from the future. And in the great silence of this [present/cs] moment, I alertly rest my soul. Amen.

Over the next couple of days I wandered the grounds and the rooms at the Ruah Center at the Villa de Matel in Houston, Texas ... creating an art journal,

painting with watercolors and drawing with colored pencils and oil pastels, engaging in lectio divina and centering prayer, taking photographs, and rocking ... in the safety of the silence my sweet shadow self emerged to dance in my soul. In a dream, I found a new depth of love for the wayward side of myself that I try to keep hidden away ... the one who feels so deeply and cries so easily!

The Calm ... before

The Storm

One day Jesus was preaching on the sea of Galilee ... great crowds pressed in on him to listen to the Word of God. Jesus noticed 2 empty women at the water's edge for all of the people had left them alone. He took the women out into the water in a boat

and he taught them together ... Wade into the deep living waters and the people will return to you. Them women said, "Even though we have been working ourselves to the bone, because you say so ... we'll try again, together." Adapted from Luke 5:1-7 during a Lectio Divina meditation.

On my last day I awoke with a sense of oneness with myself as I stretched into the light of day ...

And then comes joy!

Giver of Life ... Give me Life

    I raise my face to seek you ... my eyes to see your glory

    I raise my arms to embrace you ... my hands to hold you close

    I raise my soul to welcome you ... my heart to receive you

Giver of Life ... Give me Life

A Psalm of Lament

2010-07-04T22:36:00.000-07:00

This week in our Psalm study we are looking at Psalm 80, which is a psalm of lament. We are trying this form of prayer as an exercise to understand how to express our deeper, darker emotions especially in times when the theology contained in our minds falls short ... Where are you, O God of my heart? Here is a current adaptation of a lament I wrote in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina several years ago:

A PSALM OF LAMENT

1. Call

Oh Lord, my God and my Strength

2. Description of trouble

What is wrong with me, that you hide your presence?
And refuse to sit with me in my closet of shame
I’m lost and afraid of the darkness that surrounds me
I run aimlessly as my soul longs for you
I am desperate for you as I search and do not hear your voice
I find only empty promises and bitter blows
My heart falters under the strain
How I must disappoint you, my God and my King

3. Plea for God to respond

Come to me in the time of my despair
Crush my spirit under the strain of my suffering
Satisfy your holiness with the cleansing of my heart
Have mercy upon me, my God and my Redeemer

4. Statement of trust that God is listening

I will fear no longer for I trust in your everlasting presence
You listen yet choose not to respond for the sake of my soul
Your discipline will somehow save me from this material world
As you form me in an image fit for heaven, my God and my Creator

5. Vow or expression of praise

All the days of my life I will seek your face
I will wrestle with you until you answer me
And I will praise your most holy name, my God and my Love

Amen.

Experiencing Psalm 15 through Prayer

2010-06-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

Our Psalms for Summer Study is helping me live and breathe the Psalms ... Learning to adapt the psalms for personal devotional prayers, conversing with the Psalmist, and allowing my emotions to really emerge as I pray has drawn me closer to God in a new and deepening way. Psalm 15 is probably an entrance psalm which means that the people cried out the initial questions as they approached the entrance to the Tabernacle/Temple. The priests responded with the remainder of the psalm. As you read ... the psalm, bold print on the left with my adaptation italicized on the right.

Psalm 15 ... A Psalm of David.
Adapted for Prayer from the Good News Translation

Lord, who may enter your Temple?
Who may worship on Zion, your sacred hill?

Temple Mount (present day) Courtesy of BiblePlaces.com

Those who obey God in everything

Help me, O God to be obedient

and always do what is right,

Lead me, O God to always do what’s right

whose words are true and sincere,

Fill me, O God with words that truthful and sincere

and who do not slander others.

Keep me, O God from speaking falsely against others.

They do no wrong to their friends

Assist me, O God to always do right by my friends

nor spread rumors about their neighbors.

Help me, O God to always do right by everyone else too!

They despise those whom God rejects,

Free me, O God from thinking I know whom you reject

but honor those who obey the Lord.

Fill me, O God with respect for your obedient servants

They always do what they promise,

Enable me, O God to do what I say I will do

no matter how much it may cost.

Protect me, O God from the pain of my righteous actions

They make loans without charging interest

Create in me, O God a giving and generous heart

and cannot be bribed to testify against the innocent.

Keep me, O God from being tempted to speak against the guiltless

Whoever does these things will always be secure. AMEN …

Psalms and Camp for Summer!

2010-06-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

I am living in and praying with the Psalms this summer! In addition to using the psalms as my personal prayer-book, I am leading a Summer Class on Sunday mornings and writing my bible study blog on the Psalms. What I love about the psalms is the raw emotion that flows in and out from them ... they are messy, just like life! Sometimes I'm happy and sometimes I'm angry and sometimes I am filled with joy but sometimes I'm overwhelmed with grief. Sometimes, I just want to praise God for who God is and what God creates. It's all right there ... in the psalms!

I spent this week with senior high kids at Lakeview Methodist Conference Center close to Palestine, Texas. Pictures available soon! It was exhausting and HOT ... I loved the time we spent together in the morning worshiping by the lake which was so peaceful ... I got to draw and pray in the silence. But by far the most beautiful moment was in the evening as I was walking from one activity to another ... the sun reflecting into the clouds ... making them shine and glow in a myriad of beautiful colors ... inviting me into prayer ...

God of all Creation ... Let your people be happy
   and celebrate because of you.

Our God, you are the one
   who rides on the clouds, and we praise you.

Your name is the LORD, and we celebrate
   as we worship you. From Psalm 68: 3-4

A Lovely Prayer

2010-06-07T15:39:00.000-07:00

One of the things I do with great joy is volunteer at West Houston Assistance Ministries as a "worker bee." I am not "in charge" of anything! At WHAM I work with the best group of staff and volunteers, each one with a heart of gold. On top of that I get to sit and listen to people with amazing stories of life ... people who are courageous and persevere through tremendous struggles ... people who need help AND oh, the biggest blessing of all ... I get to help them with food, clothing, and other necessities of life.

Today, I worked in a new cubicle and I found myself staring at a poster with this prayer in beautiful cursive lettering:

God and Creator of every living creature, give us clear vision to see others for the unique individuals you have made us to be. Give us clarity about ourselves as well, so that we might know who we are, whether circumstances honor or dishonor us, bolster us or dismay us. Let the light of your life shine through us. Amen.

I have no idea who wrote it, but it prays what I always want to keep in mind as I work and play with others in this complex world in which we live. This prayer touched my heart and traveled deep into my soul as I long to be one through whom the light of God shines through ...

A Meditation on Ecclesiastes 3:1-15

2010-05-24T10:35:00.000-07:00

God has planted eternity
in the human heart,
but even so, people cannot see
the whole scope of God’s work
from beginning to end …

Ecclesiastes 3:11b (NLT)

Life is hard to live
when the future is unknown …
Yet the future is always
unknown … uncertain … unreachable
In the depths of my mind

I strive against the order of life
And fret over things I can never know
I hesitate for fear of becoming
Hemmed in and trapped
In a future not created for me

Always torn between what was
and what is to come
Always waiting
for the end of a moment
that closes one thought
And begins another
Always another thought
In the story of life
That goes on … and on … and on
Always changing
Never stopping

I can’t catch my breath
For the wind of change
continues to move
I can’t get my bearings
For I’m pulled into the vortex
of churning emotions …
I can’t find myself
Till my soul reaches out
And pulls me into
The dark of the deep

“Be still” she whispers
as I enter her spaces
sweet silence surrounds me
as her peace enters my chaos
and seeps into each corner
of my wounded being

we are three, you are three ...

2010-05-14T23:02:00.000-07:00

‘We are three, you are three, have mercy on us.”

Anthony de Mello in The Song of the Bird tells of a bishop whose ship had anchored at a remote island. Since he only had one day there, the bishop was determined to use the time profitably.

He strolled along the seashore and came across three fishermen, mending their nets. In broken English, they explained to him that their village had been converted to Christianity by missionaries centuries before. “We Christians!” they proudly proclaimed. The bishop was impressed. But, in talking some more, he discovered that they had never even heard of the Lord’s Prayer. The bishop was shocked. “What, then, do you SAY when you pray?”

“We lift eyes to heaven and say, ‘We are three, you are three, have mercy on us.”

The bishop was appalled. This would never do. In fact, it sounded almost…heretical. So the bishop spent the whole day teaching them the Lord’s Prayer. And, even though the fishermen were slow learners, they were finally able to struggle through it before the bishop sailed away the next day.

Months later, the bishop’s ship happened to pass by that same island. The bishop paced the deck, recalling with pleasure the three men who were now able to pray, thanks to his patient efforts. But while he was lost in his thoughts, he happened to look up, noticing a spot of light to the east. The light kept approaching the ship and, as the bishop gazed in wonder, he saw three figures walking on the water. The captain, too, was amazed and he stopped the boat so everyone could see. When they got within speaking distance, the bishop recognized the three fishermen.

“Bishop!” they exclaimed. “We see your boat go by the island, so we come to see you.” “What do you want?” asked the awestruck bishop. “Bishop,” they said. “We are very sorry. We forget lovely prayer. We say, ‘Our Father, in heaven, holy be your name….’ Then we forget. Please tell us prayer again.”

With a quiet voice, the bishop answered, “Go back to your homes, my friends. And each time you pray, say,

‘We are three, you are three, have mercy on us.”

I first read a similar story several years ago in Richard Foster's Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home. Foster attributed the story to Leo Tolstoy. Upon researching this lovely story I found that Tolstoy wrote a story called Three Hermits in 1886. In Tolstoy's story, the Bishop says, "You have evidently heard something about the Holy Trinity. But you do not pray right."

How often I am with people who pray with so many words and I want to say ... "stop talking!" At the same time I often feel like I don't "pray right" because I don't pray with so many words ... I need simplicity to hear the whispers of God. And even more deeply ... I ache to feel God's presence deep within my soul when I am still. Yet even then I cannot capture the depth of this unceasing prayer ... within this story I hear a call to experience the unceasing presence of God in all of life ... so as I contemplate the "Three in One" who is also "One in Three" ... I wonder and I pray ...

I am one, You are One, have mercy on me!

The symbol of the Trinity

The trinity symbol is one of the most famous symbols from the Celtic heritage. The first trinity symbols appeared in Celtic writings for decorative purposes and space-filling. Christians took the symbol and used it to mean the Holy Trinity - Creator, Word and Spirit. In the first century CE, when the followers of Christianity were persecuted by Romans, they went underground and used the symbol of a fish to identify each other. One would draw half a fish in the sand, and if the other drew the remaining half of the fish, they would identify each other as followers of Jesus, the One who calls us to be "fishers of people." If you look closely at the trinity symbol you can see Christian "fish" embedded within.

prayer by t s eliot

2010-05-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

blessed sister, holy mother, spirit of the fountain, spirit of the garden, suffer us not to mock ourselves with falsehood. teach us to care and not to care. teach us to be still even among these rocks. our peace in god's will and even among these rocks. sister, mother and spirit of the river, spirit of the sea, suffer me not be separated ...

and let my cry come to you

t s eliot (1888-1965)

living water ...

2010-05-02T14:23:00.000-07:00

While Jesus was standing there, he cried out,
“Let anyone who is thirsty come to me,
and let the one who believes in me drink.
As the scripture has said,
‘Out of the believer’s heart shall flow rivers of living water.’ ”
Now he said this about the Spirit, which believers in him were to receive …

John 7:37b-39a

Water is a powerful symbolic image. In this passage of Scripture, Jesus uses water as a symbol for the Spirit of God.   I am drawn to Water as a symbol of the Spirit of God drawing different and diversely-gifted people together to form the Body of Christ.

In his book, Steams of Living Water, Richard Foster inspires a beautiful vision of wholeness in the spiritual life.   Using the imagery of water, he articulates six great “Traditions” or ways of living which manifest the spiritual life. He calls them streams and urges one to imagine them flowing together into a mighty river. He says “in our day God is bringing together a mighty Mississippi of the Spirit.”     It would be easy to race through the book with a mind to label the boxes we put one another in with yet another name which would only serve to keep us drinking the water in our own stream.    However, Foster encourages us to slow down and explore each of these great traditions with an open heart and an open mind for each one presents an aspect of Christian living that can holistically enhance not just our own life but the collective life of the Body of Christ where our differences are respected and diverse spiritual disciplines are practiced as a means to an end rather than just an end in and of themselves. How many times have I woken up from a chaotic state of being and asked myself

“Why am I doing this – to what end?”

In longing to answer this universally asked question about the purpose of life, those who float peacefully in the Contemplative Stream might have “becoming one with God” as the desire of their prayer-filled life. Those who swim daily laps faithfully in the Holiness Stream might have “becoming a person of Godly character” as the object of their virtuous life. Those who splash joyfully in the Charismatic Stream might have “becoming supernaturally connected to God” as the target of their spirit-empowered life. Those who fight against the waves in the Social Justice Stream might have “becoming one who sees God in all people” as the aim of their compassionate life. Those who swim underwater with eyes wide open in the Evangelical Stream might have “becoming one who has spiritual understanding of God” as the ambition of their Word-centered life. Those who dive deeply in the Incarnational Stream might have “becoming true to the image of God within oneself” as the aspiration of their sacramental life. Each of these dimensions of the spiritual quest could be freely and forcefully articulated by one through whom the Spirit manifests the presence of God.

However, if we look deeper we can see that even these goals may fall short of the wholeness of a life lived in that mighty Mississippi of the Spirit if one does not drink deeply of the living water in a different stream, at least once in awhile. As human beings driven to the supreme mastery of creation, I believe we can become caught up in the pursuit of one way of being to the exclusion of all others. In some cases this may produce a narrow worldview leading one to believe their way is the only way and sometime to demand that all others follow their way or be swimming in a sea of lost souls! It may even be possible to find this close-minded attitude underneath a thin veneer of tolerance in one who, while not actively opposing it, refuses to engage in any spiritual practice that is unknown, unfamiliar, and/or uncomfortable.

I've been splashing around aimlessly more times than I care to count ... it is truly a deep, dark, dry place to be, for me ... a place where I am drowning in a sea of self-pity and strife within. It is a place where I cannot breath, cannot speak, cannot drink ... fighting to make my way up to the surface in order to keep from drowning in my excruciating thirst for God ... again the question cries out in my soul,

“Why am I doing this – to what end?”

Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you

and who you are speaking to, you would ask me,

and I would give you living water ...

those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again.

It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

John 4:10 and 14

Poetry by Rilke

2010-04-27T21:39:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a Kairos Prison Ministry Inside at the Louisiana Correctional Institute for Women. I am full of emotions and yet devoid of feeling. It was very powerful but overwhelming at the same time. I am suffering from the lack of process time I have left myself. My friend Jeanna prayed and anointed me at our Service of Wholeness tonight and I cried for the women who have touched my heart.

As I remember this poem by Rilke I find myself gripped in its melancholic sense of trust as I struggle to surrender long enough to taste the consolation of God ...and remember the women who have touched my heart. Lord have mercy ... Christ have mercy ...

A Poem by Rainer Maria Rilke, trans. by Br. David Steindl-Rast

Every now and then we let ourselves imagine

the worst that could happen to us:

How could we survive?

This testimony of dedication and trust

attests to an enduring relationship

that goes beyond our vision,

our hearing,

our speech,

our mobility,

and even our ability to think...

a relationship which cannot be extinguished.

In the sureness of this relationship –

and our ability to surrender to it –

lies consolation beyond measure.

The Shakespeare Garden

2010-04-14T11:23:00.000-07:00

Today I walked in the Shakespeare Garden at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary (G-ETS), which is where I have spent so many weeks here and there reading and studying and writing for a long list of classes. Since I graduated in 2009 I have been back a couple of times and it always makes me feel a sense of peace.

After Hurricane Katrina in 2005, G-ETS was the only stable place in my life. I was living part-time in Houston, part-time in New Orleans, and part-time visiting my daughter who was in boarding school and sitting with my mom who was in the process of dying. My life was highly unstable ... on any given day I could find myself in any of these places. I lived out of a suitcase for about 6 months. Yet in the midst of all of the chaos, GET-S was there and for 2 week intervals I was able to leave my life behind. I like to study and I like to write and I like the silence found in a gentle garden. When I "found" the Shakespeare Garden one summer day, I was mesmerized by its beauty.

When I got here, I rushed to see if there was life yet in the garden ...

there were red flowers

and purple flowers

and the most gorgeous yellow flowers

And o what a shower

of little pink flowers

emerge in the silence of a cool spring day ...

rounding the corner ...

what joy and delight to find this furry little bunny ...

my friend on the journey ...

may your day be filled with silence and flowers

and gentle surprises ... Peace, Cindy

A Prayer for Easter Sunday

2010-04-03T22:39:00.000-07:00

God of New Beginnings ... In Christ you take all of our sorrow and transform us into people of contentment. You take our wounds and heal them so that we are whole human beings. Take away any resentment that we may have against those who have wounded us. Forgive us for any wounds that we have caused and help us to make amends. While we do not take joy in the pain of the world, we rejoice in the potential for growth as the Spirit comforts and guides us. We believe you resurrected Jesus and gave us all new life after all of the pain and suffering he endured because of your love for us. We believe we can rise with Christ into new life today and every day as we serve you and welcome your reign in this world. Fill our lives with the light of Christ so that others may know that you live! Amen. Hallelujah!

A Saturday Reflection for an Easter Vigil ...

2010-04-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

Several years ago I was on vacation with my husband, Joe. On this very sunny and warm day, we were walking down a busy street in San Antonio, Texas. There were so many people ... desperately trying to get where they were going and so were we. I walked by a homeless man who was calling out, "a dollar, please just a dollar ..." Yet, I walked by but then ... I stopped about a block down the way. In that world of hustling and bustling, for just a moment, the world stood still for me.

I pulled out my wallet and looked inside. I had a $1 bill and a $20 bill and a choice to make. So ... what do you think I did? I chose the $1 bill ... hey, that is what he asked for. I gave my handbag to Joe and said, "I'll be back in a minute." He just stood there patiently while I ran off on another tangent. He is used to it. I walked back to that particular homeless man and reached out my hand with the $1 bill, feeling rather pleased with myself at all my effort and good intentions. At the very moment of my most inner self-glorification, this homeless man looked deep into my soul as he said in one of the kindest voices I have ever heard, "God bless you, lady." He meant it. I knew it. And the fingers of shame crawled up the back of my neck as I tingled all over.

I couldn't get this particular homeless man out of my mind nor my heart. Obviously I still can't! As Joe slept peacefully that afternoon, I prayed with all of the mixed emotions churning inside me ... and I wrote in my journal.

As I meditated on the Gospel reading for Easter Day, which is John 20:1-18, suddenly I remembered my conversation with God ... and I proclaim with Mary, "I have seen the Lord!" I hope you enjoy this excerpt from my journal ... and the drawing that emerged in my time of meditation today.

A Homeless Man

There was a homeless man

There’s always a homeless man!

A man without a name

you gave a dollar
you walked away

Sweet conviction overwhelms me

I can’t hear your voice

I know not what to do

a man…sitting
you…standing
in front of McDonald’s
could you not have

walked him in
bought a meal
sat awhile
heard his story
listened to him
loved him
that man

is special

to Me
that man

could have been

special

to you

He was… He is…

not enough

not nearly

enough

Regrets…Dreams…

Confusion…Chaos

The need is so great

I have no answers

Yet I know you call…me

“I can’t” too often my response

prepare yourself

be ready

for when I call

there is

always an answer
always a path

to follow
if you will seek
you will find

Holy Friday

2010-04-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

Is it possible to drown

in my sorrow and grief

Is it possible to cry a river

and go underneath

never to resurface

Is it possible the grief abides within

a constant companion

Is it possible I cannot be

who I am

without my sorrow

Holy Thursday

2010-03-31T23:14:00.000-07:00

Jesus, my Lord and friend
Are you going to wash my feet?
Dusty, dirty, tired and bare
It’s much too hard to receive
Your tender love and gentle care
Jesus, my Teacher and companion
Are you going to cleanse my soul?
Musty, fearful, lonely and dark
It’s much too hard to reveal
Who I am in reality so stark
Jesus, my redeemer and savior
© 2010 Cindy Foster Serio

What does the next moment hold ... really?

2010-03-24T16:12:00.000-07:00

WOW! Yesterday was quite a day.

There I was sitting at a red light behind an 18-wheeler at a major intersection: Texas Hwy 99 and FM 1093 in Fort Bend County. I looked up in my rear view mirror and noticed that the 18-wheeler coming up behind me wasn't slowing down ... honestly my mind went blank and I braced myself thinking that my daughter and I would be no long alive in the next moment ... unwilling filler in an 18-wheel sandwich.

Suddenly the driver swerved to the right and I quickly inched up and over as far as I could with the vehicles surrounding me perilously close. boom! we are jarred as our vehicle was hit by the back of the trailer. We turned our heads slowly to the right to watch as the truck was driven up the concrete embankment. It stopped at the top with a pregnant pause when suddenly the wheels were moving again back in our direction. Slowly the truck begins a harrowing roll over toward us. It seemed as if time entered a slow motion tunnel. All we can do is watch without knowing if we'd have another moment of life. Time stood still for a millisecond as the dirt rained down upon us and the truck stopped its roll ... about 6 inches from our vehicle. I think Katie screamed while it happened and I know I hyperventilated when it was all over. And all I can do today as I rub my sore muscles is

PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!
AND ARE WE YET ALIVE!

PS: the brakes had failed ... the truck driver walked away without a scratch ... It's a miracle.

As we move toward Palm Sunday and Holy Week ... I continue to ask myself ... what does the next moment hold ... really? Life is precious and fleeting. Enjoy what you have while you have it ... knowing that resurrection awaits...

Peace, Cindy

Letting go of those last 2 points ... on the Labyrinth

2010-03-09T00:47:00.000-08:00

I have spent a lot of years striving for those last "2 points." When I was growing up I loved school and I was a really outstanding student. Yet when I came home with a 98 on a test, my dad always said, "What about those last 2 points?" I just couldn't seem to get the perfect "100." I always seemed to leave those last 2 points on the table.

Recently I have had some interaction with a person who reminds me of my dad and those last 2 points. Don't get me wrong! My dad is wonderful and I am the person I am because I do keep trying and trying and trying. That I keep trying isn't the problem. That I can't seem to let go is the problem. Nothing I do seems to be enough ... for the me I used to be. And suddenly I am not the me I am today ... I am the me I used to be, striving for those last 2 points again!

Sometimes several streams of living water flow together to cleanse us of destructive messages such as the one I've been living with most of my life and that has become such a profound struggle recently.

On Saturday I attended a Kairos Prison Ministry team meeting and was blessed to lead a meditation called "the Rock Altar." Each person chose a rock to represent our distractions and struggles ... our burdens ... anything that sought to take our attention off of God. I couldn't seem to put my finger on any specifics that day ... I was too distracted! I did feel a general sense that I needed to let go of ... something. At the end of the meditation, we acknowledged the risen Christ that lives and walks among us in the present moment.

Yesterday morning, I shared a Lenten reflection by Henri Nouwen with our church staff. Our reflection ended with a time of sharing. As we shared with one another we were encouraged to "let go" of our worries, especially as we struggled with things we have no control over, in order to live in the present moment of each new day. Let go ... and live in the "now."

Last night I walked the labyrinth. Before we walked we meditated on Luke 18:15-17 ... Jesus said, "Let the children come to me." I put out different colors of play-do at the entrance and sprinkled small, colorful "cross" erasers in the center. I chose a neon green blob of play-do for my walk and I began squeezing and kneading that little blob ... As I walked the way in to release, I realized that I needed to let go of some very silly little things that had began to grow and take form. I began to feel very burdened with my emotions.

As I entered the center of the labyrinth and sat down, I picked up a tiny cross and then another one. Then, I recieved a word ... "Let go of those last 2 points." As the emotions rushed forth, I flattened out my play-do so I could press those little crosses into the mushy green goo. It was a wonderful little symbol of "letting go." I wanted to take it with me to remember!

After sitting there for quite awhile, resting in the light of God's amazing grace ... it was time to return. Suddenly as I prepared to leave the center, I realized that to really (really) let go of those last 2 points I had to let go of the symbol ... and leave it behind ... but that was hard. My body didn't want to leave those last 2 points behind.

Slowly, slowly, slowly ... I returned ... stopping here, stopping there ... 2 steps forward, 1 step back. And so the dance of life goes on ... and on ... and on

Dear friends ... what is it in your life that you just can't seem to let go?

How might God be inviting you to dance today?

Let nothing disturb you ...

2010-03-07T16:54:00.000-08:00

“Let nothing disturb you;

Let nothing dismay you;

All thing pass;

God never changes.

Patience attains all that it strives for.

One who has God Finds nothing lacking:

God alone suffices.”

Nada te turbe.

Nada te espante.

Todo se pasa.

Dios no se muda.

La paciencia todo lo alcanza.

Quien a Dios tiene nada le falta.

Sólo Dios basta.

A quote (adapted) from Teresa of Avila (1515-1585)

Centering Prayer ...

2010-02-26T20:26:00.000-08:00

Hidden God, ever present to me,

may I now be present to you,

attentive to your every word,

attuned to you inspirations,

alert to your touch.

Empty me that I may be filled with you alone.

A Prayer by Ms. Patricia B. Clark

Women's Uncommon Prayers: Our Lives Revealed, Nurtured, Celebrated

Centering Prayer by Thomas Keating ...

2010-02-25T22:20:00.000-08:00

Nothing is more beautiful than the uniqueness that God has created.

You don't have to create the beauty - you’ve got the beauty.

You don't have to create the freedom - you’ve got it.

You don't have to create the image of God in you - you have it.

You don't have to win over God’s love - you have more than you know what to do with.

Thomas Keating, 'Centering Prayer,'
Heartfulness: Transformation in Christ

Remember who you are: An Ash Wednesday Meditation

2010-02-17T21:31:00.000-08:00

When I was younger, I would pull out a map when I needed to go somewhere. First, I looked for where I was. Then I would look for where I wanted to be. Then I would map out my route. Then a few years later ... I found mapquest. Then I had to know where I was by address and the address where I wanted to be and mapquest mapped out my journey for me. Well, just a few months ago I got a GPS ... a global positioning system. I still have to know where I am and where I want to be, but the lovely GPS lady tells me where I am and tell me every move to make on my way to where I want to be! Well, traveling from one place to another has gotten a whole lot easier ... BUT ... you still need to know where you start in order to get where you are going.

As we begin our journey through the season of lent, we orient ourselves on Ash Wednesday.
Who are we? We are dust … we are nothing ... but dust!

Perhaps dust has no value in the eyes of the world.   In the world, your value is measured by what you do, how much you produce, how beautiful you are, what kind of car you drive or what kind of house you live in, how smart you are … OR how smart your kids are! This is not the kind of value I am talking about …This is value the way the world sees it …

In Matthew 6:6 Jesus says, "whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

Regarding our spiritual life, Jesus tells us it is what you don’t see that is valuable … God sees “in secret” God sees what no one else sees … God sees who you really are … God loves you in spite of that … God loves you because of that … God sees the man or the woman that you were created to be from the dust … and in God’s eyes, even the dust has value … Because the dust has value … you have value!

The problem comes when we buy into the world’s view of value and we put a relative value on people, including ourselves. We fall short when we fail to value people in the way God values people … we fall short when we begin to see people as commodities to be used and abused for our own good.   When we fail to value people the way God values people we fail to value God … this is when we tumble into sin … only by spending time with God in the secret can we begin to see what God sees, to value what God values and only by spending time with God in the secret can we come to love God above all other things and to love others as we love ourselves. Only by spending time with God in the secret can we begin to see what sin truly is and how it destroys our lives and the lives of others.

And the good news is that when we seek God’s forgiveness in Christ … we are forgiven.   And we begin again. There is something very cyclical about the spiritual life … we live in an almost never-ending cycle of endings and beginnings. Today is Ash Wednesday. It is a beginning … the beginning of Lent … a time of self-reflection and spiritual formation.

Are you ready to take your Lenten journey? Well, pick up a map ... we need to know where are we!

I am dust and to dust I will return.

Dear ones ... remember who you are … you are dust, and to dust you will return ... Amen.

Who dat?

2010-02-07T19:32:00.000-08:00

Who dat?
Who dat say dey gonna beat dem saints?
Who dat?

Well friends ... I can't believe it!!!
They went all the way!!!

I'm missing all my friends in New Orleans ...
I know you be dancin ... o yeah!

Check out this video on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnkLfYk_ff8&feature=youtube_gdata

Pondering a quote from Howard Thurman

2010-02-04T14:24:00.000-08:00

“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.”

Howard Thurman, theologian and civil rights leader

How can one hear the "sound of the genuine" in oneself if not to spend time in the silence until the voices of the world are banished from the consciousness. Sometimes it seems impossible. The host of voices screaming and the plethora of strings pulling at the soul ... surely one must be strong not to give in to the constant barrage of relentless intrusion.

These days I find I have not the strength to do it ... pray with me, dear friends, as I enter into the silence seeking the "sound of the genuine" with this breath prayer from Luke 5:5b ... breathing in "if you say so" breathing out "I will"

Seagulls, Duckies, and Geese ... O My!

2010-01-17T21:04:00.000-08:00

Here I am in Chicago and it's a little chilly ... Brrrr! Actually at 28 degrees it is quite balmy today. I am taking a 2-week intensive class on "missional preaching" at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, IL (a suburb of Chicago) which is nestled in the heart of Northwestern University. Anyway, let me tell you about my adventure walking by the lake these last few days.

Beyond these trees is Lake Michigan

I could walk to see Lake Michigan ... maybe I will before I leave but it isn't nearly as interesting as this interior Lake on the campus where the beautiful koi fish swim in the summer ... did you know they'll survive as long as the lake isn't frozen solid? The first day I was amazed at the seagulls gathered on the ice!

Right next to where they are standing you can see behind them the only spot on the lake that isn't frozen ... I can only assume that there is some kind of warmth from the building that is close to the lake at that particular point. So who do you think is splashing around in the water right beside them?

A community of mallard ducks!

Then next what should I see but the ducks getting curious and making their way up the bank of the Lake ...

And where should they go but a patch of muddy grassy close to the street ... ok, not sure why but they did this three days in a row. It was lunchtime. I wonder if they were looking for the food that we normally throw into the lake in the summer ...

He looks ...

She looks ...

I thought I had seen it all yet today ... a new set of friends joined the party. Check this out!

Canadian Geese

I guess they are on their way south and decided to stop over. I know you can't tell by these pictures but these guys are HUGE! And maybe they were scary too for the poor ducks who didn't go to their muddy place today save one little brave mallard boy on his way!

These beautiful creatures have piqued my curiosity and made me laugh. Some days they ignore me and some days they talk to me ... quack quack quack. For sure they have kept me company. These days when I have been on my own they have become my companions praising God.

St. Francis of Assisi is said to have preached to the birds ..."My brothers, birds, you should praise your Creator very much and always love him; he gave you feathers to clothe you, wings so that you can fly, and whatever else was necessary for you. God made you noble among his creatures, and he gave you a home in the purity of the air..."

St. Francis also said, "Preach the gospel always, If necessary use words." This week the birds have preached the gospel to me and they didn't have to say a word!

Thank you Brothers AND Sisters Birds ...

The God-Mother of Creativity

2010-01-07T19:18:00.000-08:00

Ah, dear ones ... I cannot leave you with visions of murder in your minds! The second part of the exercise from Julia Cameron's Vein of Gold is to "celebrate a creative champion." These are the voices that encourage us and help us to see ourselves as our Creator sees us, made in the beautiful image of God. These creative champions nurture our inner child through all of the ups and downs of life and help us reach our potential. As I close my eyes to begin the creative process I think this story will be more sweet than funny ...

As my final encounter with the Emotion Policewoman left me exhausted I fell into a deep sleep and the cartoonish fantasyland transformed itself into dreamland as I slept ... and slept and slept some more. It takes a long time to create dreamland with silk and gossamer strands into a sparkling scene. Crystal clear splashes of living water dot the landscape of greenery and flowers of all different colors.

The gentle sound of the native american flute floats into my consciousness and I wake and rise to sway back and forth in the gentle breeze like a reed that bends but does not break. Light floods my mind and I feel ... I feel!

Suddenly I am filled with a warmth I've not felt before and a hear a willowy whisper ... "How do you feel?" O I feel ... understood. I look for the voice but all I can see is the bright shining light of the sun ... the radiant rays dancing on the surface of the pools of water. Who are you? I am your God-Mother, dear one and I understand you.

As I walk through the flowers, I feel her presence with me. As I pause from my wandering and take a deep breath the light envelops me ... "How do you feel? O I feel loved. Where are you, God-Mother? I am here, dear one and I love you.

Basking in the light of this strange and amazing love, I reach down to touch the velvety petals of sparkling pink flowers and marvel at their perfection. She reaches out to embrace my being and I find strange desires welling up from within. How do you feel? O I feel like writing. Why do I feel like writing, God-Mother? Ahhhh ... because I created you to be a great writer and I have filled you with curiosity and a sense of wonder.

It is so peaceful in dreamland!

The Creative Monster

2010-01-06T22:34:00.000-08:00

As my Visionary Women small group has been studying Vein of Gold by Julia Cameron we are finding it difficult to move through because it is taking us deeper than we journeyed last year through the The Artist Way. Of course it could be that the book is "deeper" or it could be we are "deeper" or it could be a combination of both ... Well, this week we "killed" the Creative Monster. Cameron talks about the voices that reside in our minds that shame our inner child into avoiding the pain of our creativity. In a split second, I could hear the creative monster from my past roar back into my consciousness ...that voice that just wouldn't let me feel what I felt ... the voice that made me suspect every emotion until I stopped feeling ... and creating!

Because I love to write I wrote into this exercise with abandon and malice! Anyway the ladies laughed and begged me to make it a broadway play or write a novel ... ok so they just laughed till they cried and it went to my head. I did promise to publish on the blog. So I've cleaned it up for you (really I did) my esteemed readers ... please let me know if you laugh!

Ok you'll have to picture some kind of fantasy land ...

la la la la la la la la la la la ah there I am skipping down the yellow brick road -- wait I don't like yellow -- my road is bubble gum pink for joy and for laughter. la la la la la la la la la la la ah there I am skipping down the pinky pink road -- ok so yellow brick road sounds better!

la la la la la la la la la la la ah EEK! Ugliness jumps out in front of me ... "How do you feel?" asks the Emotion Policewoman with a glint in her eye. "I'm happy" is my joyous reply. "HAPPY! You can't possibly be happy." she sneers. "Ten lashes with a dirty dishrag for you!" as she slaps me and runs.

la la la la la la la la la la la ah EEK! There she is again that diabolical Emotion Policewoman. "How do you feel?" shrieks the Emotion Policewoman at the top of her ability. "Well, I'm a little cold." "COLD! You can't possibly be cold." she snaps. "We are having a heatwave in your fantasy land today. What's wrong with you don't you know your own mind? Off with your jacket" She dances away picking lint off my threads with her nose in the air.

la la la la la la la la la la la ah EEK! "I'm going to kill that Emotion Policewoman!" I think as I jump to the stars. "How do you feel?" she clenchs her teeth and stamps her feet. "Well dear woman, I am mad!" Ha Ha Ha ... "you can't possible be mad ... I'm in your head ... you made me up. You're crazy ... all right you are mad! stark-raving mad! You are! Ha ha ha ... Splat!

Off with your head, Emotion Policewoman.

How do I feel? I feel good, na.na.na.na.na.na ... I knew that I would now!

Well, I feel better. Do you have a creative monster lurking in the dark recesses of your mind ... refusing to allow you to express youself ... at least to yourself if no one else? If so, why not try this silly little exercise and let your inner child poke some fun at you on the road to creative recovery!

The beauty of a Christmas Cactus ...

2009-12-31T16:45:00.000-08:00

O Lord, How Majestic is Your Name in all the Earth!

2009-12-26T16:33:00.000-08:00

On the West Rim of the Grand Canyon close to the Hualapai Native American Ranch ... Guano Point

I was standing in a much "safer" place to take this picture but if you enlarge it you can see my loved ones ... Matt & Courtney and Katie at the top. That's Joe climbing up to meet them!

journey to a place called wholeness ...

2009-12-18T10:21:00.000-08:00

why bother to take the journey? i know not why ... it is simply compelling. i can't ... not go! for i know the journey's end, whatever that is, if it is ... will be worth the pain of finding all the fragments of memories and experiences to include in my consciousness. the call to wholeness deep within cannot be denied. the sound in the silence cannot be ignored. i am part of something larger, greater ... an intricate mosaic of God's own making. breathe in breathe out ... come Spirit come

this is the question i carry into my day ... what is it i carry in the pack on my back ... that weighs me down and keeps me a heap of pieces scattered along the stony path to wholeness ... ?

a man called Jesus once said ... come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and i will give you rest ... how can something that sounds so easy be so hard?

Advent Wisdom from Thomas Merton

2009-12-09T14:49:00.000-08:00

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it. John 1:5

We are supposed to be the light of the world. We are supposed to be a light to ourselves and to others. That may well be what accounts for the fact that the world is in darkness! What then is meant by the light of Christ in our lives? What is meant by "holiness?"

If we are called by God to holiness of life, and if holiness is beyond our natural power to achieve (which it certainly is) then it follows that God must give us the light, the strength, and the courage to fulfill the task.

Thomas Merton, Life and Holiness

I use this prayer from Companions in Christ as a communal acknowledgment of God's sustaining presence:
Light of Christ, shine on our path and lead us to the heart of God!

Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!

2009-12-04T13:51:00.000-08:00

in Houston, Texas

OK ... I lived in Calgary, Alberta for a couple of years in the 90's so I realize that it doesn't seem like a winter wonderland but around here the white stuff on my boxwoods and indian hawthorne is amazing! I haven't seen it in awhile, but I think it is SNOW! The average temperature for December 4 in Houston is a balmy 67 degrees. So at 34 degrees I am sitting here feeling as if I just crawled into a deep freeze! It is all relative ...

Secrets of the Spiral Staircase

2009-12-04T01:24:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you find a picture that strikes you so deep in your soul that it captivates you for a very long time. That is the way I felt with this one ... so I sat with it awhile and I drew my own interpretation of it ... I didn't try to duplicate it ... I just tried to let it inspire me ... then I wrote poetry with it and let it speak to me.

Secrets of Spiral Staircase

Round and round I go up the stairs
Round and round I go down the stairs

Round and round I go one step up
up to the sun
Sharp blades of light
A golden explosion
I’m blinded by the light

Round and round I go one step down
down in the dark
Mystery and pain
I’m blinded by the night

Fingers of madness tickling my mind
I’m stuck in the middle
Of my own spiral staircase

Can't go up

No solace in the light

Can't go down
No comfort in the dark

O my soul ... I'm trapped
round and round I go

falling into the Heart of God
© 2008 Cindy Foster Serio & revised 2009

Advent Wisdom from Henri Nouwen

2009-12-01T20:12:00.000-08:00

Prepare the Way of the Lord ... Pere Thomas keeps telling us in his sermons that the days before Christmas must be days of deep prayer to prepare our hearts for the coming of Christ. We must be really ready to receive him. Christ wants to be born in us, but we must be open, willing, receptive, and truly welcoming. To become that way we have Advent ... This morning I thought the day was completely free and open for prayer. Now it is evening, and I don't know where the time went. Somehow the externals of Christmas -- presents, decorations, short visits -- took over the day and drained away like water through a poorly built dike. How hard it is to remember ... the difference between the urgent and important!

Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak

A Prayer for the Day: O come, O come Emmanuel, God with us ... Fill me with longing for prayerful solitude so that I might find in my heart the holy space where you are born within me each day. Help me be open and receptive to your presence so I am able to remember what is truly important. Amen.

She Who Prays

2009-11-29T00:48:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday ... another year gone! And another yet to come!

I got a gift I love from two people who love me and I'll share a favorite prayer from this lovely book called She Who Prays: A Woman's Interfaith Prayer Book by Jane Richardson Jensen and Patricia Harris-Watkins. This prayer is the Collect for Morning (p 14) on the Day of the Sun and I offer it in the wee hours of my birthday morn ...

Morning Star, as the sun moves through the heavens, night becomes day. As the Spirit moves through the world, the dusks and the dawns of life become holy ground. May I feel the sparkle of your radiance so deeply within, that I am able to live fully into this day. Let my spirit play in your presence, regardless of what transpires. For I pray in the name of the Sacred Three. Amen.

A Prayer for Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T08:52:00.000-08:00

Give us this day our daily bread,
O Father in heaven,
and grant that we who are filled
with good things from Your open hand,
may never close our hearts to the hungry,
the homeless, and the poor;
in the name of the Father, and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

from the abbey of New Clairvaux, Viña, California
Source of Prayer: http://www.godweb.org/thanksgivingprayers.htm

the hope of unknowing

2009-11-21T19:29:00.000-08:00

my young friend

so sad and angry

hiding behind a mask
a painted smile
on a clown’s long face
empty eyes stare

drawing me close

piercing my consciousness

neon lights flash
illuminate the night
behind you so bright
cars speed by
on the busy boulevard
sounds in the night
burning rubber
honking horns
yet all I can hear is
the silence

crash
into the emptiness
of your tender years
i feel your pain
stabbing my heart

bleeding into my soul
each droplet

splash
into the darkness

that holds the hope

of unknowing

Light a Candle

2009-11-18T23:24:00.000-08:00

I often feel like a slave to my computer! Gratefulness.org is a wonderful website for those of us who like interaction in the midst of our emailing, blogging, and surfing ... I've been praying the hours with the angels for awhile but yesterday I lit a candle and posted a prayer. If you want to light a candle yourself and post a prayer, I invite you to comment with your candle initial and I will visit to pray with you. After you light a candle or not, I send you on your way with this Celtic blessing ...

May the blessing of light be on you - light without and light within.
May the blessed sunlight shine on you like a great fire, so that stranger and friend may come and warm the self at it.
And may light shine out of the two eyes of you, like a candle set in the window of a house, bidding the wanderer come in out of the storm.
And may the blessing of the rain be on you, may it splash upon your Spirit and wash it fair and clean,
and leave there a shining pool where the blue of Heaven shines, and sometimes a star.
And may the blessing of the earth be on you, soft under your feet as you pass along the roads,
soft under you as you lie upon it, tired at the end of day; and may it rest easy over you when, at last, you lie out under it.
May it rest so lightly over you that your soul may be out from under it quickly; up and off and on its way to God.
And now may the Lord bless you, and bless you kindly. Amen.

The Silence of God

2009-11-17T22:36:00.000-08:00

One night on a silent retreat at the Abbey I walked the Labyrinth and confronted the illusive God lurking in the depths of the darkness. I demanded to be shown the darkest part of myself. One word reverberated through my consciousness, the silence of God a deafening "no."

That night the Monastery was engulfed in a furious storm with lightening flashes and thunder pop, pop, pop like gunfire on the battlefield into the silence of the deepening dark. Even the shadows were jumping as they crept around the edges of my mind. The rain fell in torrents like waves crashing on a concrete boardwalk. But it was nothing compared to the roaring emotions welling up within me. I paced in my cell and ranted to the bug on the floor 'til she feared for her life and hurriedly left my stormy room.

Finally, with an eminent explosion looming inside me, I ran into the night, barefoot and crying, shaking my fist, shouting curses that would make even the devil blush. Thank goodness the monks were tucked safely in bed! How long did I walk and when did I stop? "My God, My God! Where have you gone? My Lover, My Friend! Oh, how I want you! Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy ... Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy."

As my tears flowed into the streams of water soaking into the ground, I looked up to heaven and reached out my arms, peered into Way, and searched for the God who simply stayed silent.

A Journey to Worship Part 2

2009-11-14T19:30:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to Mercy Street at Chapelwood UMC. Their mission statement is: to create a safe harbor for the hurt, the lost, the seeking so they might experience the radical grace of God. Mercy Street is an authentic community of grace that worships in a "come as you are" environment.

I once heard someone say, "This ain't your momma's church!" I guess I suffered from overly high expectations. I was expecting something different and rather wild in a "come as you are" environment. Don't get me wrong! They do a fine casual contemporary worship service. Basically, there was a lot of music and there was a message and both were high quality. I enjoyed it. But I wasn't blown away by innovation. I confess I was expecting more of an "emerging" church feel.

Emerging Worship is a way of recognizing, articulating and developing worship that seeks to be authentic to our ancient faith while being appropriate to our current context. Gatherings are designed to be experiential and spiritual/mystical. I was hoping for a little bit of mystery ...

I did love the open mike at the beginning of the service ... everyone was invited to come to a microphone to share in the celebration of life happenings ... birthdays, sobriety, healing, and answers to prayer. How dangerous ... this could last 2 minutes or 2 hours depending on the people. And I love screens, which means I can worship without having to juggle a hymnal ... I have been known to dance and raise my hands in worship now and then.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

My God My God ... send some blessings my way as I struggle

A Journey to Worship Part 1

2009-11-08T19:18:00.000-08:00

I am struggling with many things in my spiritual life right now. I am desperately thirsting for a deeper connection to God. What does one do when what has always worked, doesn't work anymore? What does one do when simply nothing works anymore? Get silent ... Get silent ... Get silent ... What does one do when even the silence refuses to allow a single droplet of living water to wander onto the landscape of the soul? My God, My God! Perhaps one simply takes a leave of absence in order to search for the well within and find the way to worship again.

God works in mysterious ways ...

I've been in Houston for 4 years. Last night I worshiped with my husband at Epiphany of the Lord Catholic Community for the first time. It was different and fresh. We went 30 minutes early because Joe likes to meditate in the quiet. He isn't the only one. There were many people gathered but no one spoke. It was peaceful and calm and quiet. It gave me time to pray and notice and see and "feel" the space. The worship center is large and round and all a very pale green. In the center is a round raised area with a couple of steps. The Table is in the center of the center. The priest sits to one side and the reader stands at a lectern on the other side.

There were many sacred things to look at but my attention became focused on the large round stained glass window. It was not a "rose" window and it was not traditional. It was rather abstract. There was a cross in the center but it wasn't really prominent. Red and yellow in the center area depicted light and there was blue all around the edges. The sun streamed through it as we arrived but there was a gradual dimming of the vibrant colors as darkness fell ... however, suddenly I saw a white light shining through ... it must have been the moon because the window is placed so high in the sky. It was quite simply ... beautiful.

Lest you think I didn't pay attention to anything else, the most amusing moment was when the altar boys walked up to take 2 candles and escort the priest down the steps with the bible. I thought he was leaving! I thought I missed it all ... yet they processed around to the other side and ascended the steps together to the lectern and we stood as he read the gospel. As a United Methodist minister who struggles to make a point in 15 minutes I was in awe of this priest filled with wisdom. He made his point in less than 5 minutes ... with a sensual drop of 2 coins in a tin cup ... clink, clink. Can you guess what the gospel was? Hint: think widow (or go to my bible study blog and check out the readings for Nov 8)

The word liturgy is a "churchy" word but it simple means "the work of the people." Perhaps the most enjoyable aspect of this worship experience was the involvement of so many people coming and going ... leading worship together quietly and reverently ... no rushing.

And yet ... I stand on the outside looking in ... longing to partake of the bread and the cup.

Next week I'm going to Mercy Street!

An All-Saints Day Tribute to MOM

2009-11-01T15:01:00.000-08:00

Today is a day for remembering
our loved ones ...

Leona Elizabeth Sansing Foster
1927-2007

For everything there is a season,
and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

My Mom loved her little rock garden. She used to spend hours planning and digging and planting … pulling up tiny weeds and picking up thousands of leaves. I sat looking out upon my mom’s little rock garden a couple of mornings after she took her last breath. As the birds sang and the trees swayed in the gentle breeze I thought about Mom. Come, journey with me through that morning meditation. I call it …

Mom’s Little Rock Garden in Heaven

Mom died … We were expecting it but that makes it no less tragic.

Dad is so strong and we all go on. There is so much grief yet to bear but bear it we must. How blessed are we all that gathered together in her presence – to celebrate a birthday she just barely passed before passing on.

Mom fought so hard all the way to the end. Just like the weeds in her little rock garden, the tiny trials came and she banished them all … until she couldn’t anymore.

Now the weeds grow wild in her untended garden, free and rampant in their quest to take over … just like the trials that finally overcame her.

I wonder when she saw the light – the one they always talk about – the light that brings peace to the tortured soul. I wonder if she reached out to Jesus as Jesus reached for her.
No looking back, he whispers gently. No looking back, sweet Elizabeth.

I wonder if Jesus took her hand as they danced down the path. I wonder if she wondered or if she just knew … Jesus was leading her to her very own little rock garden in Heaven.

I wonder if she saw her loved ones long gone standing by the path cheering her on … her grandma her dad her mom and her sisters. I wonder … if her anticipation grew as she took each bouncing step for in heaven you bounce with no pain only joy bubbling up with each step you take.

I wonder … if she knew what God had created just for her pleasure in heaven. I wonder … if she knew she was created just for this moment.

I wonder … if Jesus covered her eyes as she wiggled and giggled with glee and opened her eyes to see … her little rock garden in heaven … a garden where no weeds ever grow … only the beautiful sweet flowers just like she loved for it’s always four o’clock in heaven and the blooms never die.

Can you see her sweet face as she smiles up at Jesus and reaches down to touch the welcoming stone?

Can you see her stand up tall and breathe in the peace and the fragrance of love? Can you see her lift up her arms and twirl round and round? Can you see her dance with childlike abandon as her garden fills up with her new dancing partners?

Grace and Mercy – her devoted garden angels flutter and flash at the edge of her garden … twinkling blue eyes and cherry red cheeks. They lift her up and hold her close, sweet Elizabeth … alone she’ll never be for she dwells today and forevermore tucked safely inside the tender heart of God …

Peace ... Be Still!

2009-10-28T19:12:00.000-07:00

Here I am still thinking about peace. Consider this passage of Scripture about Jesus and a Storm:
On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, ‘Let us go across to the other side.’ And leaving the crowd behind, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. Other boats were with him. A great gale arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’ Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. He said to them, ‘Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?’ And they were filled with great awe and said to one another, ‘Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?’ Mark 4:35-41

We cannot stop the storms of life from coming, but we can turn to God in the midst of the storm we call life and allow God to speak into it ... Peace! Be Still! I find it easier to live in awareness of God's presence rather than to ride the roller coaster of life acting and reacting as I go. To do that, I spend time in silence ... Try this prayer exercise from BE STILL by Jane Vennard. I find it very effective in my effort to cultivate this kind of presence.

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God”
Set aside some time to sit with this verse in prayer. Repeat the verse leaving off a portion at time. Be silent and spend as long as you can with each phrase (at least 1-2 minutes)

be still and know that I am God
be still and know that I am
be still and know
be still
be ...

Shalom

2009-10-25T20:47:00.000-07:00

Have you ever “passed the peace” at a worship service? Recently I have been engaged in a theological conversation about the meaning of this time of greeting. Since I am the one who makes the invitation to this time of communal blessing, I am struggling. It seems that in order to be welcoming we can no longer use certain words … like peace?? Although I am one of the first persons to encourage losing archaic words which no longer have meaning in today’s language, I can’t believe the word peace has lost its meaning to the point that we can no longer use it. I confess I am very uncomfortable inviting people to just stand up and greet one another. What is the purpose of that within the context of the worship of God? Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps I just need to let it go. But first I need to process it and express my thoughts …

The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.

This blessing is found in Numbers 6:24-26. The Hebrew word Shalom is translated peace. I think we tend to think of peace as simply the absence of chaos. However, when we bless others with peace in the sense of shalom we are invoking the deeper meaning of the Hebrew word … completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety, soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, and the absence of agitation or discord. As a Jewish rabbi, this sense of communal harmony of Shalom would have permeated the life of Jesus and informed the way he lived within the Jewish community. When Jesus appeared to the disciples in a post-resurrection episode, he greeted them “Peace be with you!” (See Luke 24:36b) Even though Greek translations use the word Eirene, translated peace and meaning national tranquility, peace between individuals, harmony, security, safety, prosperity, felicity … I am quite sure Jesus actually said Shalom!

As I have been brooding on this issue, I experienced a moment of synchronicity. While I was reading the book we’ll be studying at our next book discussion: You don’t have to be Wrong for me to be Right: Finding Faith without Fanaticism, Brad Hirschfield (who is a Jew) describes an experience he had during the “passing of the peace” at a Catholic Church in Poland. A bishop, knowing that he was present made “a beeline” toward him. Hirschfield says, “He took my hands in his hands and looked deep into my eyes and said, not in Polish, not in English, but in Hebrew, Shalom.” Overwhelmed by this gesture (and others) Hirschfield was moved to tears. And I am personally edified by this incarnational act of grace across lines of faith.

As we engage in the “passing of the peace” in the Christian church, we are not simply greeting one another with an ordinary “hello” that equals the hellos and goodbyes we say all the time without a second thought. We are engaging in a communal act of reconciliation, and we are promoting the general well-being of our community.

Thanks for listening … Peace, Cindy

2009-10-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

I was taking a walk on the nature trail at the Wesley Center in Woodworth, Louisiana during a silent retreat in the beginning of October ... the air was cool but not particularly crisp for there was the hint of rain in the air. I traversed an asphalt trail, interrupting the natural habitat of insects and turtles and beavers and so many other creatures of the wild, from one side of the property to the other. The leaves were just beginning to turn but the predominant colors to be seen were brown and green ... colors that speak to me of the cycle of life. The only exception were brilliant yellow daisies that peeked out from the brush as I walked ... a happy "yoo hoo, over here." Yet it was this fallen bit of tree that caught my eye and spoke to me in my silence. What a journey he must have been on! His twisted trunk and his gray pallor lay perfectly in the stillness ... resting from years of natural abuse ... perhaps all that is left from a mighty large oak or more likely a pine in the piney woods. How I would love to know his story and the wisdom of his life. How I would love to sit awhile and share my own story and how I sometimes feel this way on the inside. The silence is different for everyone but there is something about this tree that touched me in mine and brought me a deep sense of the calming presence of God. So ... where have you felt the deep sense of calming presence of God lately?

Remembering ...

2009-10-19T00:14:00.000-07:00

I just spent a week with my dad in the hospital. It is hard to see him suffering. As daddy gets weaker, I see him growing older by the minute.

I remember a time when I thought my dad could do anything. Well ... he could.

I remember a time when I never made a decision without asking him what he thought. OK ... maybe I didn't follow his advice but I nearly always asked.

I remember a time when I pursued perfection because he thought I was perfect. Yeah ... what a shock when I found out I wasn't!

Remember ... I love you daddy!

The Sound of Sheer Silence

2009-10-05T21:04:00.000-07:00

Have you ever read this passage from 1 Kings 19:11-12? [The Angel of the Lord] said [to Elijah], ‘Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence.

Elijah the prophet had been working his heart out for God ... and he was TIRED! Elijah needed a retreat from all of the chaos that was his life. Have you ever been stuck in the chaos of life? Have you ever been so tired you couldn't even sleep? Have you ever just needed a time away from your life? For me, this is time for a silent retreat ... not a vacation. A vacation leaves me wanting ... but a silent retreat refreshes me.

Have you ever heard the sound of "sheer silence?" For me it is a place where there are no words ... and no errant thoughts ... nothing but gentle presence ... When I see an majestic bird (perhaps an eagle or maybe a falcon) flying and flying and flying up, up, up and then ... it drops into a glide through the air with no effort at all ... that is what dropping into sheer silence is like for me.

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD

FYI: If you have never tried the ancient practice of Lectio Divina ... try out this week's MOSAIC Bible Study

Writing Morning Pages ...

2009-10-02T12:14:00.001-07:00

Are you familiar with The Artist Way by Julia Cameron? Last year I began meeting with a group of women ... we call ourselves "Visionary Women." The tagline for our group is: Creativity as a Spiritual Path to God" and we are all artists of some sort or another. Creativity is our passion and deep connection to God. This year we begin another Cameron book called Vein of Gold. Morning pages are an integral part of the process but there has been one large problem for me since the beginning of our group. Morning pages are supposed to be done, well, in the morning! But I am NOT a morning person.

Morning, morning, morning ... what is so great about the morning? Does it count if I do morning pages at one minute after midnight? Technically that IS the morning. I find myself at a place of trying to separate the things that are true from the things that aren't. I wage this battle often within myself as I listen to mature spiritual people say that you must spend time in prayer and devotion in the morning in order to center your day around God. However, I have always found in my own life that is more easily done for me in the quiet of the late night and in so doing, I feel as though I am centering my entire being around God. And so I struggle ... and I wonder if Jesus only called the disciples to "come away to a deserted place" in the morning ...

I am reading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. Her message about writing is much the same as Cameron's. Set a goal and then just write! Stream of consciousness ... Cameron says: Write for 3 pages. Goldberg says: Set a time and write for that amount of time. Goldberg says the aim is to "burn through to first thoughts, to the place where energy is unobstructed by social politeness or the internal censor, to the place where you are writing what your mind actually see and feels, not what it thinks it should see or feel."

Beautiful ... but here I am ... still committed to writing morning pages ... in the morning!

Prayer and Tradition

2009-09-21T21:33:00.000-07:00

I had a very thought provoking conversation today with one of my wisest confidantes:) I've been deep in thought about prayer ever since ... and praying along the way. I've been thinking about the habit of my little family to say the meal blessing that my husband grew up with in his large Catholic family: Bless us, O Lord, in these thy gifts that we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen. I think some people might find fault with repetition in prayer, but I am blessed by the gentle comfort of these well-worn words. In their simplicity, they give me the space to rest in a deep place of thanksgiving. Remember when Jesus looked toward heaven, blessed some bread and a few fish ... there was such an abundance that a multitude of people were fed. (Luke 9:16) I remember my beautiful little family growing up together saying these words ... It was a regular daily act of thanksgiving and family worship. Somehow it is as if all of the generations of my husband's family are all there with us ... the communion of saints ... and we are blessed to be wrapped in the heart of God.

What lies beyond the horizon?

2009-09-11T16:52:00.000-07:00

Always looking beyond the horizon ... I seem to be. I do so want to know and know and know ... what lies ahead? And yet I hear Isaiah's words (43:1) lingering somewhere in the darkness of my unknowing "Fear not for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name. You are mine." For some odd reason these words comfort me. They whisper gently to me a sense that I am a part of something beyond the horizon of my own self, something ethereal and illusive. Ah ... the more I know God the more I know I don't know ... God! Perhaps this is the darkness that the author of The Cloud of Unknowing speaks.

"Do not suppose that because I have spoken of darkness and of a cloud I have in mind the clouds you see in an overcast sky or the darkness of your house when your candle fails…. When I speak of darkness, I mean the absence of knowledge. If you are unable to understand something or if you have forgotten it, are you not in the dark as regards this thing? You cannot see it with your mind's eye. Well, in the same way, I have not said "cloud," but cloud of unknowing. For it is a darkness of unknowing that lies between you and your God."

from The Cloud of Unknowing

Perhaps the darkness of unknowing lies between us or perhaps darkness, as painful as it may often be, is simply the place I lie within my God ... trusting in the One to whom I belong.

O Darkness my Love
I’m overwhelmed by my pain
Wrapped in its grip … Bound by its fingers
I search for the light … That simply won’t shine within me

O Darkness my Love
You’ll never leave me … Wrap me and stab me
And love me and keep me
I love you … I hate you

O Darkness my Love
You spin me round … You turn me upside down
Won’t you swallow my pain … And dance with me now

O Darkness my Love
In the depths of my soul I wait ... Star light, star bright
Come to my rescue … And shine the way out

But Darkness my Love
You won’t let me go … You’re all that I know
In the depths of my soul

O Darkness my Love
I long for freedom …It eludes me – You laugh!
For you know I’ll never leave … Your warm embrace

My Darkness my Love

the dream that won't let go

2009-09-02T21:56:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a dream that just wouldn't let you go? I think this kind of dream is a calling. Elusively it comes, in bits and pieces, sometimes gently and sometimes violently. I think this is just the way a life well-lived unfolds. Finally perhaps the bits and pieces fall into a place called beauty.

My dream and my calling is Mosaic Spiritual Formation Ministry ... Creating Beauty from the Broken Pieces of Life. Check out my website at http://mosaicspiritualformationministry.org

Poor Poor Limb What is Your Story?

2009-08-27T21:51:00.000-07:00

I prayed with nature today ...

I searched and I looked and I finally found a suitable prayer partner ...

Poor Poor limb
What is your story?
Where have you been and
Where are you going?
Very beautiful you are dear one
Yet even I see that you're covered
with parasites grey.
Is that why you fell straight to the ground?
Too much they are for you to hold.
What were your hopes before you were invaded?
Did you cling to your dear Mother Tree?
Did you dream of growing out and reaching up
to Father Sun warm and bright?
What fun did you have with your
big brothers branch and your
sweet sister leaves?
How many did you lose before you gave up too?
And became my Poor Poor Limb ...

God of all Creation, thank you for my poor poor limb and the lessons of nature she taught me! As I held her and stroked her and gazed at her ... I heard her gently whisper ... God is Love!

What makes you come alive?

2009-08-20T11:35:00.000-07:00

"Don't ask what the world needs.
Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Howard Thurman

Each evening I engage in a "daily examen." Very simply, I consider the events of my day, and I ask myself "What was life-giving?" and "what was life-draining?" As I experience the examen as a spiritual exercise, over time I find that it helps me to figure out just what it is that makes me come alive ... this is not a pattern that emerges quickly or clearly for this is a matter of the soul and mine needs much safety to share her wisdom.

Wisdom that arises from the soul doesn't always make sense. It doesn't always fit in a box but it might look great in a mosaic! In the last couple of days I have encountered God disguised as a "weeping woman." Each one in such deep pain that I could only hold the space with her ... no answers will you find here ... just simple presence as Spirit envelops us. The prophet Jeremiah (29:12-14a) writes a message from God to seekers like me

"when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you.
When you search for me, you will find me;
if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord"

Seeking God ... Finding God ... in the most unlikely people and places. This is what makes me alive! So I think I must go to the most unlikely places ...

Here I am, Send me!

So dear friends ... what makes you come alive?

I'd love to hear from you if you'd care to share ...

Panama Reflection

2009-08-17T06:45:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been on a mission trip? There is just something about leaving your own culture behind to embrace humanity in a different part of the world (even a different part of the city will do I'm sure) meeting lots of different people who talk in another language (that you can't understand by the way) and who live in a different way (a lot simpler no doubt) ...

it's a mosaic experience!

We are celebrating our mission trip this Sunday so I've written this reflection from snipets in my journal to share my experience ... I thought I would share my reflection with you:

Panama … let the mission journey begin

hope emerges
for a time filled with beauty
here to be changed
i know not how
with God’s healing grace
broken hearts mend strong
in the liminal space
between what was
and what will be

rushing water of the river rolls on
chisels the rocks
till they’re shiny and smooth
foaming spray
and bouncing droplets
refresh the weary traveler
deep waters of the soul
bring forth flowers of delight

day by day
soaking rains fall
from the cloudy grey sky
lush vegetation
palm trees and hibiscus
as far as the eye can see
life abundant emerges
a profusion of beauty
touches the heart
with healing confusion

children hungry children
sadness seasons the experience
compassion wells up within
the voice of justice whispers
arising in the mist
of long-forgotten memories
a broken heart
frees the gentle breeze
to sweep through my soul

as I make my way
on the path toward home
from Panama ...

I have no idea where I am going ...

2009-08-15T08:59:00.000-07:00

My God, My God, "I have no idea where I am going" ... this is a line from a prayer in one of my favorite books for a sabbath day ... Dialogues with Silence by Thomas Merton. It is actually quoted from another of his books ... Thoughts in Solitude.

In this prayer, Merton goes on to say some very comforting words to me and to people like me ... people who are never sure about anything. Merton says to God, "I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you." And I am counting on that ... because I have a really deep desire to take a journey with God!

I am taking the first step on this journey ... a journey that I am not ready for ... a journey that may lead me into my deepest desire. The deepest desire of my weary soul is to be in union with God being what I was created to be and doing what I was created to do. Yet for some reason I feel lost and so I walk with Merton and cry out ... My God, My God, "I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost ... for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me ..."

Trembling with feeble trust it is time to take a deep breath as I put myself out there in the world with MOSAIC Spiritual Formation Ministry ... Creating Beauty out of the Broken Pieces of Life.