“Amma, give me a word” ~spiritual seeker asks a desert mother :)
I've never been good with new year's resolutions. Honestly, when I concentrate on outcomes in the way of resolutions, I usually wind up feeling like a failure because I set unrealistic goals for myself. It becomes all about the destination ... but what about the journey, the process, the getting from here to there?
So, thank you dear St. Benedict, I will begin again for always I begin again ... and again ... and again. The last few years I have been choosing a word for the year in the tradition of the guidance found via the desert mothers and fathers.
So, thank you dear St. Benedict, I will begin again for always I begin again ... and again ... and again. The last few years I have been choosing a word for the year in the tradition of the guidance found via the desert mothers and fathers.
Some years the "perfect" word seems to find me and yet sometimes it doesn't. Last year my word was longing. I initially thought that to be a very strange word, and I spent too much time trying to come up with a qualifying word for I wanted to be longing for something. That sounds so much more productive, right? And each time I tried to find something to long for, there I went hopping on down the bunny trail to nowhere!
The word was simply, "longing" and it was an apt word for 2015.
The word was simply, "longing" and it was an apt word for 2015.
Last year, having experienced death quite profoundly, I found that my "longing" was hollowing me out, creating within me a vessel with new depth, suspended in time ... waiting, just waiting to be filled when the time was right.
I listened to Judith Tripp's Well Song and became entranced by these questions ...
As I have been allowing my new word to "simmer" within that inner space, I found a flaming spark of passion ... fierce. Can I let myself live a life with fierce abandon? Can I reach into the depths of myself and allow that passion to emerge? It remains to be seen, yes?
When I think of the word, fierce, I think of the desert mothers, those "ammas" of the desert. Henry Nouwen calls the desert, "the furnace of transformation." So, I've chosen the desert mothers as my companions for this year that promises change and growth. I look forward to re-reading material about those fierce women and following their practices in order to make my way through the passion and fervor I sense simmering below the surface. Writing an acrostic poem I find my longing dissipates ...
fierce year coming
Flowing river fades up ahead
Indigo blue I see no more
Ebb tide empties my sandy shoreline
Relentless waves recede with a kiss
Calling me into my desert dwelling
Emotions erupt as passion blazes
fierce year coming!
Flames emerge reaching for the sky
Igniting my soul with a smoky hue
Energy surges with nowhere to go
Rivulets of red, orange, and gold
Chaos threatens, colors merge
Ethereal mist rises in grey clouds whispering
fierce year coming
As I allow myself to sit with my poetry, I am realizing that "fierce," at least the fierce-ness that I am being called into, means simply to live authentically and to move ever closer to the me I've been created to be. How lovely! for this is my life's work in a nutshell.
I listened to Judith Tripp's Well Song and became entranced by these questions ...
Where are you going?
Where have you come from?
What are you doing in this world?
I dwelled for a time just in the seeking ... perhaps allowing my longing from last year to ripen fully and transform into my new word, "fierce." And as I pondered, perhaps the question became for me neither where nor what but how will you be in this world? And my answer was, I will be fierce.
As I have been allowing my new word to "simmer" within that inner space, I found a flaming spark of passion ... fierce. Can I let myself live a life with fierce abandon? Can I reach into the depths of myself and allow that passion to emerge? It remains to be seen, yes?
When I think of the word, fierce, I think of the desert mothers, those "ammas" of the desert. Henry Nouwen calls the desert, "the furnace of transformation." So, I've chosen the desert mothers as my companions for this year that promises change and growth. I look forward to re-reading material about those fierce women and following their practices in order to make my way through the passion and fervor I sense simmering below the surface. Writing an acrostic poem I find my longing dissipates ...
fierce year coming
Flowing river fades up ahead
Indigo blue I see no more
Ebb tide empties my sandy shoreline
Relentless waves recede with a kiss
Calling me into my desert dwelling
Emotions erupt as passion blazes
fierce year coming!
Flames emerge reaching for the sky
Igniting my soul with a smoky hue
Energy surges with nowhere to go
Rivulets of red, orange, and gold
Chaos threatens, colors merge
Ethereal mist rises in grey clouds whispering
fierce year coming
As I allow myself to sit with my poetry, I am realizing that "fierce," at least the fierce-ness that I am being called into, means simply to live authentically and to move ever closer to the me I've been created to be. How lovely! for this is my life's work in a nutshell.
The source of much of my pondering upon my word emerged from Christine Valters Paintner's Give me a Word 12-day "Abbey of the Arts" free online self-paced journey to invite a word for the year. If you are interested in finding a little help as you seek a word for yourself, take the link and you will find that sign up is very easy, although I don't know how long the journey will be available into 2016.
