Visionary Women "Suffering Artist" Day

Once again Julia Cameron, in Vein of Gold, has taken our Visionary Women to a different location, literally!  In her chapter "Basic Black" Cameron encouraged us not to take ourselves so seriously and to have creative fun with some "attitude."  As you can see from the picture, some of us have more attitude than the others.  While Cameron did suggest that we dress all in black and go out, in public no less, with the persona of the suffering artist ... she didn't say we'd look like we were getting ready to rob the Museum of Art (we are artists after all, what else would we rob, a bank???) and that made us laugh and laugh and laugh!   When I cut across the parking lot on the way to lunch, I had to admit that I was volunteering to drive the getaway car.  

  One of our talented artist friend made T-shirts for us with a message for all of our well-meaning friends and strangers who have taken on the job of helping us transform ourselves:  "What other people think of me is none of my business"  We did have a lot of fun ... maybe next time you can join us! 

The God-Mother of Creativity

Ah, dear ones ... I cannot leave you with visions of murder in your minds!  The second part of the exercise from Julia Cameron's Vein of Gold is to "celebrate a creative champion."  These are the voices that encourage us and help us to see ourselves as our Creator sees us, made in the beautiful image of God.  These creative champions nurture our inner child through all of the ups and downs of life and help us reach our potential.  As I close my eyes to begin the creative process I think this story will be more sweet than funny ...

As my final encounter with the Emotion Policewoman left me exhausted I fell into a deep sleep and the cartoonish fantasyland transformed itself into dreamland as I slept ... and slept and slept some more.  It takes a long time to create dreamland with silk and gossamer strands into a sparkling scene.  Crystal clear splashes of living water dot the landscape of greenery and flowers of all different colors.

The gentle sound of the native american flute floats into my consciousness and I wake and rise to sway back and forth in the gentle breeze like a reed that bends but does not break.  Light floods my mind and I feel ... I feel!

Suddenly I am filled with a warmth I've not felt before and a hear a willowy whisper ... "How do you feel?"  O I feel ... understood.  I look for the voice but all I can see is the bright shining light of the sun ... the radiant rays dancing on the surface of the pools of water.  Who are you?  I am your God-Mother, dear one and I understand you. 

As I walk through the flowers, I feel her presence with me.  As I pause from my wandering and take a deep breath the light envelops me ... "How do you feel?  O I feel loved.  Where are you, God-Mother?  I am here, dear one and I love you.

Basking in the light of this strange and amazing love, I reach down to touch the velvety petals of sparkling pink flowers and marvel at their perfection.  She reaches out to embrace my being and I find strange desires welling up from within.  How do you feel?  O I feel like writing.  Why do I feel like writing, God-Mother?   Ahhhh ... because I created you to be a great writer and I have filled you with curiosity and a sense of wonder.  

It is so peaceful in dreamland!

The Creative Monster

As my Visionary Women small group has been studying Vein of Gold by Julia Cameron we are finding it difficult to move through because it is taking us deeper than we journeyed last year through the The Artist Way.  Of course it could be that the book is "deeper" or it could be we are "deeper" or it could be a combination of both ... Well, this week we "killed" the Creative Monster.  Cameron talks about the voices that reside in our minds that shame our inner child into avoiding the pain of our creativity.  In a split second, I could hear the creative monster from my past roar back into my consciousness ...that voice that just wouldn't let me feel what I felt ... the voice that made me suspect every emotion until I stopped feeling ... and creating!

Because I love to write I wrote into this exercise with abandon and malice!  Anyway the ladies laughed and begged me to make it a broadway play or write a novel ... ok so they just laughed till they cried and it went to my head.  I did promise to publish on the blog.  So I've cleaned it up for you (really I did) my esteemed readers ... please let me know if you laugh!

Ok you'll have to picture some kind of fantasy land ...

la la la la la la la la la la la ah there I am skipping down the yellow brick road -- wait I don't like yellow -- my road is bubble gum pink for joy and for laughter.  la la la la la la la la la la la ah there I am skipping down the pinky pink road -- ok so yellow brick road sounds better!


la la la la la la la la la la la ah  EEK! Ugliness jumps out in front of me ... "How do you feel?"  asks the Emotion Policewoman with a glint in her eye.  "I'm happy" is my joyous reply.  "HAPPY!  You can't possibly be happy." she sneers.  "Ten lashes with a dirty dishrag for you!" as she slaps me and runs.


la la la la la la la la la la la ah EEK!  There she is again that diabolical Emotion Policewoman.  "How do you feel?"  shrieks the Emotion Policewoman at the top of her ability.  "Well, I'm a little cold."  "COLD! You can't possibly be cold." she snaps.  "We are having a heatwave in your fantasy land today.  What's wrong with you don't you know your own mind?  Off with your jacket"  She dances away picking lint off my threads with her nose in the air.


la la la la la la la la la la la ah  EEK!  "I'm going to kill that Emotion Policewoman!"  I think as I jump to the stars.  "How do you feel?"  she clenchs her teeth and stamps her feet.  "Well dear woman, I am mad!"    Ha Ha Ha ... "you can't possible be mad ... I'm in your head ... you made me up.   You're crazy ... all right you are mad! stark-raving mad!  You are!  Ha ha ha ... Splat!


Off with your head, Emotion Policewoman.


How do I feel?  I feel good, na.na.na.na.na.na ... I knew that I would now!

Well, I feel better.  Do you have a creative monster lurking in the dark recesses of your mind ... refusing to allow you to express youself ... at least to yourself if no one else?  If so, why not try this silly little exercise and let your inner child poke some fun at you on the road to creative recovery!

Writing Morning Pages ...

Are you familiar with The Artist Way by Julia Cameron? Last year I began meeting with a group of women ... we call ourselves "Visionary Women." The tagline for our group is: Creativity as a Spiritual Path to God" and we are all artists of some sort or another. Creativity is our passion and deep connection to God. This year we begin another Cameron book called Vein of Gold. Morning pages are an integral part of the process but there has been one large problem for me since the beginning of our group. Morning pages are supposed to be done, well, in the morning! But I am NOT a morning person.

Morning, morning, morning ... what is so great about the morning? Does it count if I do morning pages at one minute after midnight? Technically that IS the morning. I find myself at a place of trying to separate the things that are true from the things that aren't. I wage this battle often within myself as I listen to mature spiritual people say that you must spend time in prayer and devotion in the morning in order to center your day around God. However, I have always found in my own life that is more easily done for me in the quiet of the late night and in so doing, I feel as though I am centering my entire being around God. And so I struggle ... and I wonder if Jesus only called the disciples to "come away to a deserted place" in the morning ...

I am reading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. Her message about writing is much the same as Cameron's. Set a goal and then just write! Stream of consciousness ... Cameron says: Write for 3 pages. Goldberg says: Set a time and write for that amount of time. Goldberg says the aim is to "burn through to first thoughts, to the place where energy is unobstructed by social politeness or the internal censor, to the place where you are writing what your mind actually see and feels, not what it thinks it should see or feel."

Beautiful ... but here I am ... still committed to writing morning pages ... in the morning!