Moments of Silence for Earth Day

The Canticle of Creation 

~St. Francis of Assisi

O Most High, all-powerful, 

good Lord God,
to you belong praise, glory,
honour and all blessing.

(pause for moments of silence)

Be praised, my Lord, for all your creation
and especially for our Brother Sun,
who brings us the day and the light;
he is strong and shines magnificently.
O Lord, we think of you when we look at him.

(pause for moments of silence)

Be praised, my Lord, for Sister Moon,
and for the stars
which you have set shining and lovely
in the heavens.

(pause for moments of silence)

Be praised, my Lord,
for our Brothers Wind and Air
and every kind of weather
by which you, Lord,
uphold life in all your creatures.

(pause for moments of silence)

Be praised, my Lord, for Sister Water,
who is very useful to us,
and humble and precious and pure.

(pause for moments of silence)

Be praised, my Lord, for Brother Fire,
through whom you give us light in the darkness:
he is bright and lively and strong.

(pause for moments of silence)

Be praised, my Lord,
for Sister Earth, our Mother,
who nourishes us and sustains us,
bringing forth
fruits and vegetables of many kinds
and flowers of many colours.

(pause for moments of silence)

Be praised, my Lord,
for those who forgive for love of you;
and for those
who bear sickness and weakness
in peace and patience
- you will grant them a crown.

(pause for moments of silence)

Be praised, my Lord, for our Sister Death,
whom we must all face.

(pause for moments of silence)

I praise and bless you, Lord,
and I give thanks to you,
and I will serve you in all humility.

(pause for moments of silence)

Amen.

As you consider your moments of silence, is there an image that is drawing you deeper?  

As you sit with the image you are drawn to resting in your soul

or perhaps as you simply sit in image-less silence, 

how are you being moved to "be" in the world 

as we celebrate Earth Day 2015?

A Pilgrimage into Silence and Beyond: Beginning the Journey

As I make my slow pilgrimage through the world, 

a certain sense of beautiful mystery seems to gather and grow.
A. C. Benson

The way I've always heard people talk about pilgrimage is to say, "a pilgrimage is a physical journey with a spiritual purpose."   I recently journeyed on my own to Our Lady of Guadalupe Abbey in Pecos, New Mexico to meet up with small band of spiritual travelers.  As I look back and consider how my recent pilgrimage to Pecos unfolded, I believe it started with a simple email newsletter that popped into my inbox.  It came from The Center for Christian Spirituality, a ministry of Chapelwood United Methodist Church in Houston. 

The flyer said, "Exploring Wisdom from the Wilderness" and it said we would dwell mostly in silence.  Yes.  I felt drawn to this and my calendar gave me permission.  Yes.  I will do this.  Simple.

“The Wilderness holds answers to more questions than we have yet learned to ask.”
~ Nancy Wynne Newhall

Suddenly, several days after I said yes I got a phone call from my sister, "Clarissa (my niece) is being transferred to a Hospice facility.  How soon can you be here?"  This was a journey I didn't want to make ... this was a journey no one wants to take.  

The evening that I arrived or maybe it was the second evening, the days all ran one into the other ...    

writing in my journal ... 

 Sitting here on the open top floor of the parking garage, praying as the sun sets, remembering that God loves us all so much that the sun rises and the sun sets with such beauty it takes the breath away ... in much the same way Clarissa does when she enters a room.

The days spent with my niece and my sister and all of the family gathered at her bedside for more than a week had a surreal substance to them, and I found myself being hollowed out from within as her young heart kept her lingering several days past when I had to leave.  I found that I was dwelling in that room with her even though I was no longer with her, liminal space ... God space ... all of life became a "thin space," where the veil between this world and the eternal world is so thin you can almost reach out and touch eternity ... not with your body nor even with your senses really but more with your spirit.  

"Heaven and Earth are only three feet apart,

but in the thin places that distance is even smaller."

~ an old Celtic saying

On Transfiguration Sunday as I was leading worship, I came to a line in the Prayers of the People, "O God ... receive the dying."   As many times as I had previewed that prayer, I had not "seen" those words.   As I was standing before the people, I did see them ... before I read them.  And I was overcome with tears welling up within me, tears that had refused to fall before that moment.  I barely made it through that prayer even as I felt the strength pouring into me from God and the people, it sank to my feet and still the hollowness was left as I thought, "Transfiguration Sunday is a good day to die."  Clarissa died that evening and my soul was suddenly released from waiting in Vigil so far away from her and my sister. 

And the journey continues, so much work left undone over the days and yes, I did think, "I should cancel my trip to Pecos."  But my soul hung on as I heard the call of the mountains in Pecos ...

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. 

And when you have reached the mountain top, 

then you shall begin to climb. 

And when the earth shall claim your limbs, 

then shall you truly dance.
~ Khalil Gibran

Take this link for Part 2: Welcome to Pecos Abbey

Remembering ... in the Silence of Community

I sat with soul friends in the silence this week after listening to a portion of a prayer from An African Prayer Book (© 2006 compiled by archbishop Desmond Tutu and one of my favorites, this prayer is found on page 72-73, a traditional prayer from Ghana) ... The Motor Under Me is Running Hot:

 Lord,

The motor under me is running hot.

Lord,

There are twenty-eight people

And lots of luggage in the truck.

Underneath are my bad tires.

The brakes are unreliable.

Unfortunately I have no money,

And parts are difficult to get.

Lord,

“Jesus is mine”

Is written on the vehicle,

For without Him I would not drive a single mile.

The people in the back are relying on me.

They trust me because they see the words:

“Jesus is mine.”

Lord,

I trust You!

 

As I sat in our time of silence, two conflicting images emerged for me, images from my past, images of darkness ... at first I remembered my first mission trip to Cuba in the late 90's.   We had all of the right licenses, knew all of the rules of engagement and felt deep heart connections with the people in a small church in Jovellanos, located in the Matanzas district.  They were the most gracious hosts and I had need of nothing while I was there.  They had little in the way of material possessions but my dear friends had an overflowing, loving, generous spirit.  They were passionate about reaching people with the message of God's love in Jesus Christ.  We went mostly to help them spread that word through small "house" churches.  As I stood in each one, I thought, "this must be what it was like as Jesus traveled place to place with his small band of disciples."  One evening, I was dropped off in the middle of nowhere (it seemed like to me) with one of my female traveling companions and a female missionary/interpreter to speak with a group of woman who had small children.  At the end of our time we walked back up the road and waited in the dark ... do you know that kind of darkness in which you cannot even see your hand in front of your face?   We waited for a very long time ... at one point we joked about how we could get back to Jovellanos if they forgot about us.  Our laughter was a little uneasy but underneath the darkness, there was a simple trust.  I trusted the people, I trusted God.

The second image that emerged was much more unsettling.  Perhaps this image emerged because we just yesterday passed the nine year mark since Hurricane Katrina.  The darkness that enveloped the New Orleans area in the aftermath of the storm was not so friendly to my soul.  I remember ... watching from afar, listening to the people on the radio late at night through earphones as I slept, hearing their desperation, wondering who lived and who died, calling friends and hearing only silence on the other end, praying and praying and praying.  

I remember our first trip back, the trip you took to see what was left of your home and your life.  And there it was ... standing tall, damaged but not destroyed.  wow.  The beautiful bradford pear tree was broken but the mis-shapen little oak tree stood where it was. Of course.  The chimney was blown out and twisted at the top and but was still attached to the house.  Yay!  The house was missing some pieces of siding but it still looked good to me compared to what it could have been.  So it went ... and happy we were that we had bought a raised house.  The electricity was not yet on so we cleaned up what we could and let the house BE.  One of our neighbors stayed to watch all our houses as they sat, quiet and alone in the darkness.

I remember driving back home with my son after my neighbor told us we had electricity on our street.  My husband now in a corporate apartment in Houston only returned once to the house after that initial clean up trip, to load it up and move it out.   Because there was not yet complete electrical restoration, there were no supplies in St. Charles Parish at that time right after the Storm.  We stopped on Hwy 90, the best way for re-entry it seemed to us, to pick up supplies.  Supplies ... and a knife.  Yes, for some reason that little knife made me feel safe.  It's the little things, right?  I still have it, it still makes me feel safe but mostly it helps me clean wax out of my candle holders. 

I remember driving by the Circle K and seeing the National Guard ... soldiers with sub-machine guns.  Really ... in my neighborhood ... across from my church?  Really?  I felt like I was disconnected from reality.  This cannot be happening.  But it was.

I remember picking up lots and lots and lots of diapers on my way into town because some of the first persons back found that was the need we needed to meet ... and so we created a circular path for people who came, usually after picking their MRE's.  Not long after we started, a local pediatrician called and offered to supply formula.  We asked the people how they were, offered to pray for them and ... oh, the stories they told.  Sometimes, I thought I would break down from the stories.  We created a small chapel prayer area in the Sanctuary for people to pray ... and pray we did, but I never cried.  I had created a visual on the altar with a special place for all of the prayer cards and had placed a "brokenness" cross in the center.  The cross had been created especially for a Kairos Prison Ministry weekend I was leading by a friend of mine who is a potter.  It was a large clay cross upon which broken pieces of "reclaimed" pottery were placed in the center.  We bring our brokenness to Jesus and the cross, yes?   We had a prayer service to close down the "baby depot" and the prayer chapel.  And I didn't cry.  After it was over, I sent everyone home and prayed through the cards one last time.  I carefully began folding material and gently taking things down from the altar.  And suddenly it happened.  The cross fell from it's perch and broke ... and suddenly I broke too.  I cried for what seemed like hours just holding all the pieces in my lap.  "What good is a broken brokenness cross" I wailed. Then, I gently wrapped the pieces, put them in their box, and tucked it away.

I remember driving into New Orleans after the Storm.  I remember driving along the streets, carpet piled up on the curb ... house after house after house ... and thinking, "this is not just carpet, this is people's lives and we'll never be the same."  I remember driving a friend home in the dark ... that same dark I experienced in Cuba ... and panic set in because the buildings, landmarks in silhouette against the dark sky, they were gone, all of them ... gone.  I didn't know where we were.  That unknowing was more than physical.  Suddenly, I felt very lost as I drove home alone.   

I remember sitting at a table with some people at a retreat at Camp Allen in Navasota, right outside Houston, after we moved.  I was referred to as a "refugee" after I told people my story.  I said, "oh, I'm not a refugee."  She didn't really ask a question but said, "Did you live there before the storm?"  I said, "yes."  She followed with, "And now you are living here, at least for the time being?"  I said, "yes."   She said very adamantly then, "Sweetheart, YOU are a refugee."  I think that was my lowest moment, my most alone moment as all of the people looked at me with "that" look.  Do you know the look I'm talking about?  Actually, I hope you don't.  In an instant, the conversation turned and I was completely alone in that room full of people.  And I determined never to share my story with strangers again.

Several years later, I remember being asked to deliver a message with a personal testimony at the Gospel service at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary using passages from Isaiah (60 & 62) 

Arise! Shine! Your light has come;
    the Lord’s glory has shone upon you.
Though darkness covers the earth
    and gloom the nations,
    the Lord will shine upon you;
    God’s glory will appear over you.
Nations will come to your light
    and kings to your dawning radiance ...

You will no longer be called Abandoned,
    and your land will no longer be called Deserted.
Instead, you will be called My Delight Is in Her,
    and your land, Married.
    Because the Lord delights in you,
    your land will be cared for once again. ©CEB

As I packed for that trip, I couldn't get that broken brokenness cross out of my mind, I thought I was going crazy.  I knew it was still packed away somewhere but finally I made a deal with myself.  I'll open one box and if it is in that box I'll take it with me.  Lo and behold, there it was, in the first box I opened.  But I still didn't know what to do with it!  I hadn't yet unwrapped it, looked at it, touched it.  Finally, the night before I was to stand before the people ... I opened the little box and pulled the wrapping from around the pieces, and looked at it.  I gasped!  How could I not have seen this?  There, among all of the tiny pieces and the three big pieces was the small cross, the cross that my potter friend put among the broken pieces as a sign of hope ... resurrection ... new life.  Suddenly, I realized that we not only bring our brokenness to Jesus for him to fix.  Jesus, the risen Christ, walks among our brokenness, healing us and creating beauty from all of the broken pieces of our lives.  And my own determination was broken down in the midst of the risen Christ who filled the room.  And I shared my story once again with a room full of strangers the next evening. 

I remember several days later as I was meditating on John 6 ... these words shimmered up off the page and into my heart (as they frequently do) ... in verse 12, Jesus says:  “Gather up the fragments left over, so that nothing may be lost.”   In the silence, I heard Jesus say to me, "I will pick up the pieces of your life and put it back together again."   That was the birth of MOSAIC Spiritual Formation Ministry ... creating beauty from the broken pieces of life ... in my heart. 

And all of this remembering emerged from a prayer from the heart of the people in Ghana ... and the silence within which we held it.  Suddenly the darkness is not dark anymore, the Lord is shining!  And the risen Christ walks among us. 

“Jesus is mine.”

Lord,

I trust You!

Amen!

My Broken Brokenness Cross created by Jane Knight, Painting to left by Merilyn Hully

Prayer, Silence, and Gratitude!

Lakeview Methodist Conference Center ©August 2013 Cindy Serio

Prayer is sitting in the silence until it silences us, 

choosing gratitude until we are grateful, 

praising God until we ourselves
are a constant act of praise. 

~Richard Rohr

Praying with the Psalms

Cindy's Paraphrase of the 23rd Psalm ...

O God you are the tender of my soul, 
I have everything I truly need.

You walk with me and 
invite me to lay down in the green green grass

You walk with me beside the cool calm streams of living water

You refresh me as I breathe all the way to my toes …

You walk with me 
even as the darkness stalks me in the depths of despair

And yet I have no fear with you by my side

Your Being envelopes my being 
and I am wrapped in your peace

You sustain me with a feast as those 
who do not see my value look upon our togetherness

You pour healing oil upon the wounds of my soul and 
the hands that serve others with your love

I am so filled with love that it flows out into the world

O my God, all of your blessings are mine as we walk together

I am eternally bound with you and will dwell in Your Presence, 
always and forever.  Amen.

Sometimes when we are very familiar with a piece of writing, like certain passages of Scripture, we read or recite them without really thinking about the words and what they mean for our lives today.  We know we love it but we no longer remember why.  One of the ways we can get past this tendency to familiarity is to write a paraphrase using words that mean something to us as we understand them in the text.  It can help us to wade deeper into the living water.  

Using the Senses to Pray with Nature

I've been on retreat since Thursday ... I found myself 


Praying in the Four Directions, Praying with the Four Elements and I engaged with nature


We had a lovely Morning Prayer at an Outdoor Pavilion at the Wesley Center in Woodworth, Lousiana.  We were led by a soul friend of mine which makes this all the more delightful.  


We engaged in Visio Divina in 4 directions ... We were invited to turn from our inward circle to an outward facing circle and I began facing North.  I almost gasped as turned and felt the overwhelming presence of God.  I know I smiled as I breathed all the way to my toes.  After my lovely time day of prayer the week before, a time in which I experienced God as the Gentle Rain on my Soul ... well, the wind often changes quite abruptly and several days later things had shifted ... I wrote in my journal about God the raging thunderstorm in my soul.  I wrote about feeling as though I was a little dinghy floating about no longer moored at my soul dock.   

As I looked upon the lake to the North, there was a little boat one one side and 

feeling like a little dinghy ... restless and

there was the dock on the other side.    feeling no longer moored at my soul dock ...

Turn to the East and I was staring at a brick wall ... 

feeling the heat of the day, or perhaps the passion of a 

wild heart as I gaze upon the bricks fired in the kiln

Turn to the South and felt the breeze blowing gently across my cheek and through my hair ... ahhhh

feeling light and joyful

Turn to the West and Pine Trees growing in the Earth along the edge of the Lake.  

feeling grounded and 

reaching for God 

with the Trees

in Praise and Thanksgiving

As I pondered this experience, I realized I had just experienced the four elements in prayer ... the water of the lake, the fire that created the bricks in all their different colors, the air as the gentle breeze, and the quiet earth that held the long, tall pine trees ... It is enough.  Amen.

A Night of Lenten Prayer

Ashford Sanctuary

EVERYONE WELCOME!

Prayer Stations with Labyrinth Walk

Come as you are and pray as you need to 

Ashford United Methodist Church

2201 S. Dairy Ashford, Houston, Texas

April 3, 2012

6:00 pm - 9:00 pm

Special Prayer Service @ 7 pm  

World AIDS Day 2011

Today, I remember my friend, Clel, who died of AIDS over 20 years ago.  I miss you, beautiful artist and gentle soul.   I find joy in my memories of you and sadness as I remember your life that was way too short.

In your honor, I whisper prayers of remembrance for the 30 million lives that have been claimed by this disease over the last 30 years; and sing prayers of healing for those still living with and affected by HIV and AIDS around the world.

In your honor, I donate to the United Methodist Global AIDS Fund which represents the commitment of United Methodists to end HIV/AIDS in our world through prevention, treatment, care and support. 

Thank you, dear friend, for inviting me so long ago to be a more compassionate person to all people.

Finding A Golden Life-Giving Nougat

As I engage in the Prayer of Examen, I often have trouble identifying the life-draining moments of life because I always seem to find a golden life-giving nougat in every situation.   I think that is my way of coping with life.

I've been praying a lot lately ... and it's not that I don't pray a lot all the time LOL:)  and yet ... the groaning of creation with earthquakes and tsunamis across the world and tornadoes and flooding in the heartland of the US and fires running rampant with the drought leaving the land parched in Texas ... along with the groaning of family, friends, and acquaintances in the throes of death, disease, addiction, incarceration, and homelessness ... well let's just say I'm carrying around a journal to hold all of the prayers I can no longer hold in my head!  

Is it that there are more people, places, and situations in need ... or am I just paying attention these days ... deep sigh

And yet ... I know that the recent death of OBL (I can't bear the name) is calling me deep within myself to reflect and pray and seek God amidst the celebration of death that I can't seem to wrap my head around.  

I have wondered and I have prayed.  Dear God, how do you feel about all of this?   All I ever really want is to know as I pray is how God feels and search my own soul to see if I am in sync with the Holy One whom I love and who loves me ... celebrate?  I can't feel it.  All I feel is this tremendous grief and sadness that suddenly gives way to weeping ... in some way I sense that my own humanity has been stripped away to reveal ... what?  I don't know.  

I am so grateful for the way if all unfolded without massive numbers of collateral casualties BUT then I think about all of the death and destruction that lead to the death on this one man ... and it just makes me feel so sad ... I cannot find the life-giving nougat! 

I woke up this morning praying over and over ... Lord, have mercy.  Christ, have mercy.  Lord, have mercy.  Christ, have mercy.  Lord, have mercy.  Lord, have mercy.   Lord, have mercy. **This is my natural way of deeply sinking into prayer with The Jesus Prayer.   

As I write and pray and think and wonder, I just want to weep and weep.  

Suddenly, I find the golden life-giving nougat in each healing tear that makes a salty trail to the floor of my soul ... May the Spirit of Healing Peace descend upon the Soul of the World with each tear that falls from the eyes of humanity.

The Journey to Jerusalem ...

Lent has been a L...O...N...G journey this year.  I've been offering a weekly Labyrinth Walk through Lent at Mission Bend United Methodist Church in Houston.   It was a Lenten Spiritual Discipline for me.  The Labyrinth was open from 1:00 pm to 8:00 pm ...

On Holy Tuesday I created an interactive prayer walking experience which featured the Labyrinth. Hear this prayer ... Jesus, come join us in our journey as we seek your will for this community in this environment. Teach us to love each other as you love us, to give ourselves as you give yourself that the kingdom of God might be made present to all. Amen.  I created in the spirit of this prayer which I learned as an active member of the Kairos Prison Ministry International community.

I hoped that people would find this sense of taking the journey with Jesus as they walked.  In this case we walk with Jesus on the path leading to the cross.  Although there is no way to get a real sense of the physical journey we took, I share it with you here ... 

A JOURNEY OF PRAYER AND REFLECTION

 

Following Jesus’ triumphal entry into the city of Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, he continued to teach, preach, and heal.  The disciples prepared the Passover meal, as they were directed.  Before that … Jesus sat and contemplated the city of Jerusalem.   The city would soon be destroyed.  Jesus was grieving because Jerusalem had not responded to his declaration of the kingdom and God’s work of salvation in the city.  For this reason, Jesus begins holy week in pain and grief as he prays and laments. 

To continue you have to take the small "read more" under the photo

Connections. We are all connected, connected to one other.

Once upon a time when I was very young (in the 1970's) I read a book called Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee and the story of Black Elk touched my heart so much that I read his book, Black Elk Speaks.   These books had a formative impact on me as my eyes were opened and my heart felt his pain.

As I was preparing to lead morning worship in the Piney Woods of central Louisiana, I walked out onto the Pavilion overlooking the lake nestled among the pine trees.  In an instant I was transported in my mind back to my childhood ... laying under the pine trees of Southern Arkansas, reading about Black Elk ... tears streaming down my face.

Native American religion is “a thing of the heart."  Prayers are said with the heart and are carried upon the wind ... thoughts for the heart, the soul and the mind ... Prayers that call upon us to remember who we are, where we come from and where we are going ... as we journey down the pathway of life.

It reminds me of what I have been taught about the Hebrew meaning of heart as the "center of one's being."  And what about that old saying, "Home is where the heart is." 

Connections.  We are all connected, connected to one other. 

It reminds me of the Ubuntu Theology of the great South African Episcopal Bishop, Desmond Tutu.  Ubuntu as I understand it, means … "I am what I am because of what we all are together."   Somewhere deep in my soul I know that if even one person in the world is suffering, I am suffering ... even if I don't know it. 

Connections.  We are all connected, connected to one other.  

It reminds me of the words of the great writer and follower of Christ, Paul who said in 1 Corinthians 12:12-13 … For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit … One Spirit


Connections.  We are all connected, connected to one other.

I invite you to open your heart and pray this prayer by Chief Seattle in the Native American tradition.  It is called the Prayer to the Four Directions ... adapted with inclusive language:

Great Spirit of Light, come to me out of the East with the power of the rising sun. Let there be light in my words, let there be light on my path that I walk. Let me remember always that you give the gift of a new day. And never let me be burdened with sorrow by not starting over again.

Great Spirit of Love, come to me with the power of the North. Make me courageous when the cold wind falls upon me. Give me strength and endurance for everything that is harsh, everything that hurts, everything that makes me squint. Let me move through life ready to take what comes from the north.

Great Life-Giving Spirit, I face the West, the direction of sundown. Let me remember everyday that the moment will come when my sun will go down. Never let me forget that I must fade into you. Give me a beautiful color, give me a great sky for setting, so that when it is my time to meet you, I can come with glory.

Great Spirit of Creation, send me the warm and soothing winds from the South. Comfort me and caress me when I am tired and cold. Unfold me like the gentle breezes that unfold the leaves on the trees. As you give to all the earth your warm, moving wind, give to me, so that I may grow close to you in warmth. Humanity did not create the web of life, each one but a strand in it. Whatever one does to the web, one does to the self.   Amen.

And Amen and Amen ...

New Life!

Easton Matthew Serio

Precious little Easton Matthew, May the music of the psalms

resonate in your soul forever as you bask in God's love for you

 

O Lord, you ...know everything about me ...
You go before me and follow me.
      You place your hand of blessing on my head ...

                                                  your hand will guide me                                                 

      and your strength will support me.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
      and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
      Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
      as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
 You saw me before I was born.
      Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
 Every moment was laid out
      before a single day had passed.
 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
      They cannot be numbered!
 I can’t even count them;
      they outnumber the grains of sand!
 And when I wake up, you are still with me!  Amen

Grandma Cindy praying excerpts from Psalm 139

A Candlelight Labyrinth Walk

One of the most beautiful memories I have is walking the Labyrinth at Chartres Cathedral in the Candlelight.  Perhaps one day I'll write about it ...

but for now ... let me tell you about the candlelight labyrinth walk I offered this past weekend to a group of spiritual seekers steeped in the sounds of sheer silence.  The photos do not do this labyrinth vision of light justice ...

While it wasn't the cathedral, the dance of over 100 candles gently invited our pilgrims onto holy ground ... as the last person rounded the first corner, I felt the familiar tug on my heart to join the community in this walk ... dearest God, here I am, yes!

two steps forward and one step back ...

o how like the journey of life!  

Two steps forward moving in rhythm o so slowly ... 

one step back, two steps forward, one step back ... 

I surrender into a meditation of "release"  

and there it is, the great expanse

 

two steps forward nothing ...  nothing ...  

                                                      one step back nothing ... 

                                                       a great expanse of space in the nothing-ness as 

I reach the rose "window" center ... 
the center of God ... the center of my soul ... 
and I am at home ... within myself.  


I "receive" ... clarity,
love and strength for the journey 


 
 
And I "return" 
with each dancing step of the pilgrim
I am filled with the Love of God!
Amen!

4 days in the Silence ...

I just spent about 4 days in the silence ... Remember Elijah's journey ... "Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence." 

I love Elijah.  His journey into the presence of God through sheer silence mirrors my own ... every time!   As I let go of all of the outside influences I certainly feel like I have sustained a great wind, an earthquake, and a fire before I am able to settle into that place where it is just me and God in the depths.

On my first day I prayed a prayer with Howard Thurman as my newest companion in the silence ... I abandon all that I think I am and all that I hope to be and all that I believe I possess.  I let go of the past.  I withdraw my grasping hand from the future.  And in the great silence of this [present/cs] moment, I alertly rest my soul.    Amen.

Over the next couple of days I wandered the grounds and the rooms at the Ruah Center at the Villa de Matel in Houston, Texas ... creating an art journal,

painting with watercolors and drawing with colored pencils and oil pastels, engaging in lectio divina and centering prayer, taking photographs, and rocking ...  in the safety of the silence my sweet shadow self emerged to dance in my soul.  In a dream, I found a new depth of love for the wayward side of myself that I try to keep hidden away ... the one who feels so deeply and cries so easily! 

The Calm ... before

The Storm

One day Jesus was preaching on the sea of Galilee ... great crowds pressed in on him to listen to the Word of God.  Jesus noticed 2 empty women at the water's edge for all of the people had left them alone.  He took the women out into the water in a boat

 and he taught them together ... Wade into the deep living waters and the people will return to you.  Them women said, "Even though we have been working ourselves to the bone, because you say so ... we'll try again, together."  Adapted from Luke 5:1-7 during a Lectio Divina meditation.

On my last day I awoke with a sense of oneness with myself as I stretched into the light of day ...

And then comes joy!

Giver of Life ... Give me Life

    I raise my face to seek you ... my eyes to see your glory

    I raise my arms to embrace you ... my hands to hold you close

    I raise my soul to welcome you ... my heart to receive you 

Giver of Life ... Give me Life

A Psalm of Lament

This week in our Psalm study we are looking at Psalm 80, which is a psalm of lament.  We are trying this form of prayer as an exercise to understand how to express our deeper, darker emotions especially in times when the theology contained in our minds falls short ... Where are you, O God of my heart?   Here is a current adaptation of a lament I wrote in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina several years ago:

A PSALM OF LAMENT

1.    Call  

Oh Lord, my God and my Strength

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    
2.    Description of trouble

What is wrong with me, that you hide your presence?
And refuse to sit with me in my closet of shame
I’m lost and afraid of the darkness that surrounds me
I run aimlessly as my soul longs for you
I am desperate for you as I search and do not hear your voice
I find only empty promises and bitter blows
My heart falters under the strain
How I must disappoint you, my God and my King

3.    Plea for God to respond

Come to me in the time of my despair
Crush my spirit under the strain of my suffering
Satisfy your holiness with the cleansing of my heart
Have mercy upon me, my God and my Redeemer

4.    Statement of trust that God is listening

I will fear no longer for I trust in your everlasting presence
You listen yet choose not to respond for the sake of my soul
Your discipline will somehow save me from this material world
As you form me in an image fit for heaven, my God and my Creator

5.    Vow or expression of praise

All the days of my life I will seek your face
I will wrestle with you until you answer me
And I will praise your most holy name, my God and my Love 

Amen.

© 2006 Cindy Serio

Experiencing Psalm 15 through Prayer

Our Psalms for Summer Study is helping me live and breathe the  Psalms ... Learning to adapt the psalms for personal devotional prayers, conversing with the Psalmist, and allowing my emotions to really emerge as I pray has drawn me closer to God in a new and deepening way.  Psalm 15 is probably an entrance psalm which means that the people cried out the initial questions as they approached the entrance to the Tabernacle/Temple.  The priests responded with the remainder of the psalm.  As you read ... the psalm, bold print on the left with my adaptation italicized on the right.

 

Psalm 15 ... A Psalm of David.
Adapted for Prayer from the Good News Translation

Lord, who may enter your Temple?
Who may worship on Zion, your sacred hill?

Temple Mount (present day) Courtesy of BiblePlaces.com

Those who obey God in everything

Help me, O God to be obedient

and always do what is right,

Lead me, O God to always do what’s right

whose words are true and sincere,

Fill me, O God with words that truthful and sincere

and who do not slander others.

Keep me, O God from speaking falsely against others.

They do no wrong to their friends

Assist me, O God to always do right by my friends

nor spread rumors about their neighbors.

Help me, O God to always do right by everyone else too!

They despise those whom God rejects,

Free me, O God from thinking I know whom you reject

but honor those who obey the Lord.

Fill me, O God with respect for your obedient servants

They always do what they promise,

Enable me, O God to do what I say I will do

no matter how much it may cost.

Protect me, O God from the pain of my righteous actions

They make loans without charging interest

Create in me, O God a giving and generous heart

and cannot be bribed to testify against the innocent.

Keep me, O God from being tempted to speak against the guiltless

Whoever does these things will always be secure.  AMEN …

Psalms and Camp for Summer!

I am living in and praying with the Psalms this summer!   In addition to using the psalms as my personal prayer-book, I am leading a Summer Class on Sunday mornings and writing my bible study blog on the Psalms.  What I love about the psalms is the raw emotion that flows in and out from them ... they are messy, just like life!  Sometimes I'm happy and sometimes I'm angry and sometimes I am filled with joy but sometimes I'm overwhelmed with grief.  Sometimes, I just want to praise God for who God is and what God creates.  It's all right there ... in the psalms!

I spent this week with senior high kids at Lakeview Methodist Conference Center close to Palestine, Texas.  Pictures available soon!  It was exhausting and HOT ... I loved the time we spent together in the morning worshiping by the lake which was so peaceful ... I got to draw and pray in the silence.  But by far the most beautiful moment was in the evening as I was walking from one activity to another ... the sun reflecting into the clouds ... making them shine and glow in a myriad of beautiful colors ... inviting me into prayer ...

God of all Creation ... Let your people be happy
   and celebrate because of you.

Our God, you are the one
   who rides on the clouds, and we praise you.
 
Your name is the LORD, and we celebrate
   as we worship you.  From Psalm 68: 3-4

A Lovely Prayer

One of the things I do with great joy is volunteer at West Houston Assistance Ministries as a "worker bee."  I am not "in charge" of anything!  At WHAM I work with the best group of staff and volunteers, each one with a heart of gold.  On top of that I get to sit and listen to people with amazing stories of life ... people who are courageous and persevere through tremendous struggles ... people who need help AND oh, the biggest blessing of all ... I get to help them with food, clothing, and other necessities of life. 

Today, I worked in a new cubicle and I found myself staring at a poster with this prayer in beautiful cursive lettering:

God and Creator of every living creature, give us clear vision to see others for the unique individuals you have made us to be.  Give us clarity about ourselves as well, so that we might know who we are, whether circumstances honor or dishonor us, bolster us or dismay us.  Let the light of your life shine through us.  Amen.

I have no idea who wrote it, but it prays what I always want to keep in mind as I work and play with others in this complex world in which we live.   This prayer touched my heart and traveled deep into my soul as I long to be one through whom the light of God shines through ...

we are three, you are three ...

‘We are three, you are three, have mercy on us.”

Anthony de Mello in The Song of the Bird tells of a bishop whose ship had anchored at a remote island.  Since he only had one day there, the bishop was determined to use the time profitably. 

He strolled along the seashore and came across three fishermen, mending their nets.  In broken English, they explained to him that their village had been converted to Christianity by missionaries centuries before.  “We Christians!” they proudly proclaimed.  The bishop was impressed.  But, in talking some more, he discovered that they had never even heard of the Lord’s Prayer.  The bishop was shocked.  “What, then, do you SAY when you pray?” 

 “We lift eyes to heaven and say, ‘We are three, you are three, have mercy on us.” 

The bishop was appalled.  This would never do.  In fact, it sounded almost…heretical.  So the bishop spent the whole day teaching them the Lord’s Prayer.  And, even though the fishermen were slow learners, they were finally able to struggle through it before the bishop sailed away the next day. 

Months later, the bishop’s ship happened to pass by that same island.  The bishop paced the deck, recalling with pleasure the three men who were now able to pray, thanks to his patient efforts.  But while he was lost in his thoughts, he happened to look up, noticing a spot of light to the east.  The light kept approaching the ship and, as the bishop gazed in wonder, he saw three figures walking on the water.  The captain, too, was amazed and he stopped the boat so everyone could see.  When they got within speaking distance, the bishop recognized the three fishermen.

“Bishop!” they exclaimed.  “We see your boat go by the island, so we come to see you.”   “What do you want?” asked the awestruck bishop.  “Bishop,” they said.  “We are very sorry.  We forget lovely prayer.  We say, ‘Our Father, in heaven, holy be your name….’ Then we forget.  Please tell us prayer again.” 

With a quiet voice, the bishop answered, “Go back to your homes, my friends.  And each time you pray, say,

‘We are three, you are three, have mercy on us.”

I first read a similar story several years ago in Richard Foster's Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home.  Foster attributed the story to Leo Tolstoy.  Upon researching this lovely story I found that Tolstoy wrote a story called Three Hermits in 1886.  In Tolstoy's story, the Bishop says, "You have evidently heard something about the Holy Trinity.  But you do not pray right." 


How often I am with people who pray with so many words and I want to say ... "stop talking!"   At the same time I often feel like I don't "pray right" because I don't pray with so many words ... I need simplicity to hear the whispers of God.  And even more deeply ... I ache to feel God's presence deep within my soul when I am still.   Yet even then I cannot capture the depth of this unceasing prayer ... within this story I hear a call to experience the unceasing presence of God in all of life ... so as I contemplate the "Three in One" who is also "One in Three" ... I wonder and I pray ...

I am one, You are One, have mercy on me!

 The symbol of the Trinity

The trinity symbol is one of the most famous symbols from the Celtic heritage.  The first trinity symbols appeared in Celtic writings for decorative purposes and space-filling.  Christians took the symbol and used it to mean the Holy Trinity - Creator, Word and Spirit.   In the first century CE, when the followers of Christianity were persecuted by Romans, they went underground and used the symbol of a fish to identify each other. One would draw half a fish in the sand, and if the other drew the remaining half of the fish, they would identify each other as followers of Jesus, the One who calls us to be "fishers of people."  If you look closely at the trinity symbol you can see Christian "fish" embedded within.

Letting go of those last 2 points ... on the Labyrinth

I have spent a lot of years striving for those last "2 points."  When I was growing up I loved school and I was a really outstanding student.  Yet when I came home with a 98 on a test, my dad always said, "What about those last 2 points?"   I just couldn't seem to get the perfect "100."  I always seemed to leave those last 2 points on the table.  

Recently I have had some interaction with a person who reminds me of my dad and those last 2 points.  Don't get me wrong!  My dad is wonderful and I am the person I am because I do keep trying and trying and trying.  That I keep trying isn't the problem.  That I can't seem to let go is the problem.  Nothing I do seems to be enough ... for the me I used to be.   And suddenly I am not the me I am today ... I am the me I used to be, striving for those last 2 points again!  

 

Sometimes several streams of living water flow together to cleanse us of destructive messages such as the one I've been living with most of my life and that has become such a profound struggle recently.  

On Saturday I attended a Kairos Prison Ministry team meeting and was blessed to lead a meditation called "the Rock Altar."   Each person chose a rock to represent our distractions and struggles ... our burdens ... anything that sought to take our attention off of God.  I couldn't seem to put my finger on any specifics that day ... I was too distracted!  I did feel a general sense that I needed to let go of ... something.  At the end of the meditation, we acknowledged the risen Christ that lives and walks among us in the present moment.

Yesterday morning, I shared a Lenten reflection by Henri Nouwen with our church staff.  Our reflection ended with a time of sharing.  As we shared with one another we were encouraged to "let go" of our worries, especially as we struggled with things we have no control over, in order to live in the present moment of each new day.  Let go ... and live in the "now."

Last night I walked the labyrinth.  Before we walked we meditated on Luke 18:15-17 ... Jesus said, "Let the children come to me."   I put out different colors of play-do at the entrance and sprinkled small, colorful "cross" erasers in the center.   I chose a neon green blob of play-do for my walk and I began squeezing and kneading that little blob ... As I walked the way in to release, I realized that I needed to let go of some very silly little things that had began to grow and take form.  I began to feel very burdened with my emotions.  

As I entered the center of the labyrinth and sat down, I picked up a tiny cross and then another one.  Then, I recieved a word ... "Let go of those last 2 points."    As the emotions rushed forth, I flattened out my play-do so I could press those little crosses into the mushy green goo.  It was a wonderful little symbol of "letting go."  I wanted to take it with me to remember!  

After sitting there for quite awhile, resting in the light of God's amazing grace ... it was time to return.  Suddenly as I prepared to leave the center, I realized that to really (really) let go of those last 2 points I had to let go of the symbol ... and leave it behind ... but that was hard. My body didn't want to leave those last 2 points behind.   

Slowly, slowly, slowly ... I returned ... stopping here, stopping there ... 2 steps forward, 1 step back.   And so the dance of life goes on ... and on ... and on

Dear friends ... what is it in your life that you just can't seem to let go?

How might God be inviting you to dance today?