Finding A Golden Life-Giving Nougat

As I engage in the Prayer of Examen, I often have trouble identifying the life-draining moments of life because I always seem to find a golden life-giving nougat in every situation.   I think that is my way of coping with life.

I've been praying a lot lately ... and it's not that I don't pray a lot all the time LOL:)  and yet ... the groaning of creation with earthquakes and tsunamis across the world and tornadoes and flooding in the heartland of the US and fires running rampant with the drought leaving the land parched in Texas ... along with the groaning of family, friends, and acquaintances in the throes of death, disease, addiction, incarceration, and homelessness ... well let's just say I'm carrying around a journal to hold all of the prayers I can no longer hold in my head!  

Is it that there are more people, places, and situations in need ... or am I just paying attention these days ... deep sigh

And yet ... I know that the recent death of OBL (I can't bear the name) is calling me deep within myself to reflect and pray and seek God amidst the celebration of death that I can't seem to wrap my head around.  

I have wondered and I have prayed.  Dear God, how do you feel about all of this?   All I ever really want is to know as I pray is how God feels and search my own soul to see if I am in sync with the Holy One whom I love and who loves me ... celebrate?  I can't feel it.  All I feel is this tremendous grief and sadness that suddenly gives way to weeping ... in some way I sense that my own humanity has been stripped away to reveal ... what?  I don't know.  

I am so grateful for the way if all unfolded without massive numbers of collateral casualties BUT then I think about all of the death and destruction that lead to the death on this one man ... and it just makes me feel so sad ... I cannot find the life-giving nougat! 

I woke up this morning praying over and over ... Lord, have mercy.  Christ, have mercy.  Lord, have mercy.  Christ, have mercy.  Lord, have mercy.  Lord, have mercy.   Lord, have mercy. **This is my natural way of deeply sinking into prayer with The Jesus Prayer.   

As I write and pray and think and wonder, I just want to weep and weep.  

Suddenly, I find the golden life-giving nougat in each healing tear that makes a salty trail to the floor of my soul ... May the Spirit of Healing Peace descend upon the Soul of the World with each tear that falls from the eyes of humanity.

The Journey to Jerusalem ...

Lent has been a L...O...N...G journey this year.  I've been offering a weekly Labyrinth Walk through Lent at Mission Bend United Methodist Church in Houston.   It was a Lenten Spiritual Discipline for me.  The Labyrinth was open from 1:00 pm to 8:00 pm ...

On Holy Tuesday I created an interactive prayer walking experience which featured the Labyrinth. Hear this prayer ... Jesus, come join us in our journey as we seek your will for this community in this environment. Teach us to love each other as you love us, to give ourselves as you give yourself that the kingdom of God might be made present to all. Amen.  I created in the spirit of this prayer which I learned as an active member of the Kairos Prison Ministry International community.

I hoped that people would find this sense of taking the journey with Jesus as they walked.  In this case we walk with Jesus on the path leading to the cross.  Although there is no way to get a real sense of the physical journey we took, I share it with you here ... 

A JOURNEY OF PRAYER AND REFLECTION

 

Following Jesus’ triumphal entry into the city of Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, he continued to teach, preach, and heal.  The disciples prepared the Passover meal, as they were directed.  Before that … Jesus sat and contemplated the city of Jerusalem.   The city would soon be destroyed.  Jesus was grieving because Jerusalem had not responded to his declaration of the kingdom and God’s work of salvation in the city.  For this reason, Jesus begins holy week in pain and grief as he prays and laments. 

To continue you have to take the small "read more" under the photo

Rhythm of Life

Rising ... I rise with You

From the Chaos comes ... In the beginning, the Spirit of God hovers over the chaos of my waters. let there be light. and morning comes

Living ... I live with You

Storm Water Gentle Rain Peace ... In the image of God, I am created.  God blesses me ... live and love and be fruitful ... live, it is good

Resting ... I rest with You

Temple of God's Light ... God finishes and calls to me.  God rests.  be still and know that I am God

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A Commentary and Invitation:  Here I am working with rhythm and rule.  For living my life, I feel a natural three-fold interior rhythm in my soul.  There is a circularity or a spiraling sense as well ... an ebb and flow with a gentle pause.  

What about you?  How would you express your own natural rhythm in words or images? 
  
If you need a little help to start ... here is my process but listen to the rhythms of your own heart and allow your creative spirit to soar:  I took a deep breath as I set my intention.  Then, I pondered my own deep rhythm as long as I felt the need … let images or words arise as they are ready.  For me the image emerged first.  And then the words … I started “word-working” with a haiku and painted it into my image.  A traditional English haiku is simple poetry, a writing expressed in three lines.  Line 1=5 syllables, Line 2=7 syllables, Line 3=5 syllables.  For more info on haiku and other poetry techniques, visit AHApoetry.     Next, I “named” the hours of my rhythm.  Finally, I searched the scripture tucked away in my heart and in “midrash” technique interpreted what emerged for the prayers of my daily hours.  

Note:  I've been participating in a 6-week online contemplative creative community "retreat" during which I've been inspired through many creative prompts by Christine Valters Paintner.  Visit her Abbey of the Arts to learn more about transformative living through contemplation and expressive arts.

Interior Castle

Let nothing disturb you,
nothing frighten you,
all things are passing.
God never changes.
Patience always conquers.
Whoever has God lacks nothing,
for God alone suffices.

 -- Teresa of Avila

Teresa of Avila was a Spanish mystic and Carmelite nun who lived in the 16th century.  In her famous work about the inner journey, The Interior Castle, she says, "the soul is like a castle made exclusively of diamond or some other very clear crystal.  In this castle are a multitude of dwellings ..."

I think the soul as Teresa speaks of it sounds very beautiful.  And I wonder, "how we can comprehend this beauty within ourselves?"  One of the ways we can begin to fathom these deeper interior movements is to engage our right brain in a creative activity.   Creating a collage is a way of allowing our unconscious to speak to us.  Perhaps you can create a collage mosaic by just looking at what I've done.  Perhaps you need further instructions.  Take this link to "Collage MOSAIC Creation" on my website for more detailed instructions.

Remember ... Let nothing disturb you!

wild flowers and weary wanderers

walking in the border lands

where wild flowers run rampant

and weary wanderers are tempted

petals weep

and pilgrims listen

the story unfolds

with more questions than answers

jagged edges

and shards of light

tear at the heart

of this sleepy traveler

love emerges

like a gentle rain

giving life

to wild flowers

and weary wanderers   Cindy Foster Serio © 2011

"Living on the edges means recognizing those places and experiences 

that do not offer me easy answers, those fierce edges of life where 

things are not as clear-cut as I hope for them to be."  

Christine Valtners Paintner

Inner Wisdom

Peace ...how can i find rest for my soul?

Light ...how can I nurture my deepest longing to be close to Presence?

Chaos ...why do I struggle so?

The Journey Within

The Light Shines!

The Light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not overcome it.  (John 1:5)

Longing for Light, we wait in darkness.

Longing for Truth, we turn to you.

Make us your own, your holy people.

Light for the world to see.

Christ, be our Light!

Shine in our hearts.

Shine through the darkness.

Christ be our Light!

Written by Bernadette Farrell, British Catholic Hymn writer 

Follow this link for a creative YouTube montage of Christ be our Light

Visionary Women "Suffering Artist" Day

Once again Julia Cameron, in Vein of Gold, has taken our Visionary Women to a different location, literally!  In her chapter "Basic Black" Cameron encouraged us not to take ourselves so seriously and to have creative fun with some "attitude."  As you can see from the picture, some of us have more attitude than the others.  While Cameron did suggest that we dress all in black and go out, in public no less, with the persona of the suffering artist ... she didn't say we'd look like we were getting ready to rob the Museum of Art (we are artists after all, what else would we rob, a bank???) and that made us laugh and laugh and laugh!   When I cut across the parking lot on the way to lunch, I had to admit that I was volunteering to drive the getaway car.  

  One of our talented artist friend made T-shirts for us with a message for all of our well-meaning friends and strangers who have taken on the job of helping us transform ourselves:  "What other people think of me is none of my business"  We did have a lot of fun ... maybe next time you can join us! 

Celebrating Life on WORLD AIDS DAY

Once upon a time long long years ago I had a friend.   I was young.  He was young.  We were all young!  It was the 70's and life was wild and crazy and fun because we were so young!  My friend was quite simply, beautiful.  His beauty began in his heart and love poured out into the world every time he smiled.  He was an amazing artist and an imaginative theatrical performer.  O how I secretly loved that little twinkle in his eyes when he began to work his magic and talk me into something. 

My friend loved the Phantom of the Opera.   One day a group of us were hanging out.  Suddenly (it seems) standing before us was an old, large abandoned house.  My friend's imagination took off.  Yes, he persuaded us to find a way to sneak into that house with the signs that said, "Condemned.  Stay Out!"   Although the details are lost in the deep recesses of my mind, I believe the house was two or three stories high.  I know there was an attic with many secret spaces.  This old house had a lovely rounded wooden staircase. 

As I've written my story today, I remember being drawn to this picture I found in a magazine.  I spent time with it and I interpreted it ... it looks much like the staircase in the old house.  I've used it before and shared the poetry I wrote as I meditated with it.  Take this link to read the poetry:  Secrets of the Spiral Staircase

The massive staircase took center stage around which a collection of sparsely furnished rooms revolved around and around, connecting like a monstrous maze, delightful and deceiving!   Darkness prevailed in the old house because the windows were boarded up.  The sunshine sent fingers of precious light streaming through the cracks inviting the shadows to dance and come alive to scare us out of our wits at just the right moments.  My friend told us about the Phantom as he invited us to re-create the story with him.  Of course, he was always the Phantom.  And I was sometimes Christine.  As the Phantom, my friend came alive in that house so shrouded in darkness.  I saw the real young man emerge in the tortured dialogue of the Phantom.   I saw him come alive in ways that he could not as we walked in a world so blinded by artificial light that it rips your persona into pieces if you dare to be different.  I think perhaps in that old house and in the Phantom's skin, my friend felt safe enough to allow all of his emotions pour forth.  As he personified the soulful Phantom, he grew into an authentic person ...   

In the 70's people didn't talk about being gay.   He never told me.  It was always here, like that proverbial pink elephant, but we never talked about it.  I wonder if he wanted to talk about it.  I wonder if he thought my friendship and love for him would disappear if he told me who he really was.   One day my friend left our little town.  He said he just needed to "find" himself.  He became an artist in New York, and I hear he did really well, but we lost touch ... I wasn't there because I had gone off to "find" my own self.   I guess we all have to do that sometimes.  A few (way too few) years later, my friend finally came home ... to die.   

AIDS is an ugly killer.  AIDS runs rampant throughout the world.  More than 33 million men, women, and children have died from AIDS.  Women and children are especially vulnerable victims due to gender and age related issues.   What can we do about this global crisis?  We can work together.  United Methodists are stepping up to provide a tangible response to the HIV/AIDS crisis through the United Methodist Global AIDS Fund. This fund represents the commitment of every United Methodist to put a stop to HIV/AIDS in our world.  In honor of my daughter's 22nd birthday today and in memory of my friend, I have already made a donation.  If you or someone you know has been touched by the AIDS crisis in the world, and if you feel called to do so, you can take this link and give to the UM Global AIDS Fund, UMCOR Advance #982345

Today I celebrate the life of my own Angel of Music!    

whose life changed my life.  

I am more tolerant.  

I am more understanding.  

I am more loving.   

I am more generous.   

Praise God from whom all Blessings flow!

AMEN