My Silence at Mother of the Redeemer Monastery
the chapel, filled with chants and prayers and silence |
When I called, he said, "Most of the monks won't be here, being the week after Easter. You'll have to bring your own food and take care of your meals." My soul, gasping for breath, I said ... "no matter, I'll come if that's all right." Looking forward to the silence like I never have before, I simply kept my eye on the day I would leave. Inviting silence for others as my vocation ... this would be MY time in the blessed Silence.
Construction in Beaumont, sitting still on the way, getting lost on the gravel roads, knowing they all look the same ... of course, I arrive in the middle of evening prayers ... and the monk is so gracious. They chant, the three of them in their tiny chapel and I am drawn in. I won't be in the silence alone, a community is being woven in the silence and the psalms. I am welcome to come for prayers, there is a schedule in my very simple room. It's late and it is all I can do to settle before falling asleep ... I always sleep when the silence descends, for as long as it takes for my soul to catch up with me. I wake only long enough to eat a small piece of fruit before calling it a night at 9:30. It is good. Amen.
a place within me opens and parts of myself let go
that I did not even know were holding on.
in these moments I feel all the hard parts
in my heart and in my body yield
to a great softness carried on my breath ... "
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