The Silence of God

One night on a silent retreat at the Abbey I walked the Labyrinth and confronted the illusive God lurking in the depths of the darkness. I demanded to be shown the darkest part of myself. One word reverberated through my consciousness, the silence of God a deafening "no."

A Journey to Worship Part 2

Last night I went to Mercy Street at Chapelwood UMC. Their mission statement is: to create a safe harbor for the hurt, the lost, the seeking so they might experience the radical grace of God. Mercy Street is an authentic community of grace that worships in a "come as you are" environment.

A Journey to Worship Part 1

I am struggling with many things in my spiritual life right now. I am desperately thirsting for a deeper connection to God. What does one do when what has always worked, doesn't work anymore? What does one do when simply nothing works anymore? Get silent ... Get silent ... Get silent ... What does one do when even the silence refuses to allow a single droplet of living water to wander onto the landscape of the soul? My God, My God! Perhaps one simply takes a leave of absence in order to search for the well within and find the way to worship again.

God works in mysterious ways ...

An All-Saints Day Tribute to MOM

Today is a day for remembering 
our loved ones ...

Leona Elizabeth Sansing Foster
1927-2007

For everything there is a season,
and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

My Mom loved her little rock garden. She used to spend hours planning and digging and planting … pulling up tiny weeds and picking up thousands of leaves. I sat looking out upon my mom’s little rock garden a couple of mornings after she took her last breath. As the birds sang and the trees swayed in the gentle breeze I thought about Mom. Come, journey with me through that morning meditation. I call it …

Mom’s Little Rock Garden in Heaven

Mom died … We were expecting it but that makes it no less tragic.

Dad is so strong and we all go on. There is so much grief yet to bear but bear it we must. How blessed are we all that gathered together in her presence – to celebrate a birthday she just barely passed before passing on.

Mom fought so hard all the way to the end. Just like the weeds in her little rock garden, the tiny trials came and she banished them all … until she couldn’t anymore.

Now the weeds grow wild in her untended garden, free and rampant in their quest to take over … just like the trials that finally overcame her.

I wonder when she saw the light – the one they always talk about – the light that brings peace to the tortured soul. I wonder if she reached out to Jesus as Jesus reached for her.
No looking back, he whispers gently. No looking back, sweet Elizabeth.

I wonder if Jesus took her hand as they danced down the path. I wonder if she wondered or if she just knew … Jesus was leading her to her very own little rock garden in Heaven.

I wonder if she saw her loved ones long gone standing by the path cheering her on … her grandma her dad her mom and her sisters. I wonder … if her anticipation grew as she took each bouncing step for in heaven you bounce with no pain only joy bubbling up with each step you take.

I wonder … if she knew what God had created just for her pleasure in heaven. I wonder … if she knew she was created just for this moment.

I wonder … if Jesus covered her eyes as she wiggled and giggled with glee and opened her eyes to see … her little rock garden in heaven … a garden where no weeds ever grow … only the beautiful sweet flowers just like she loved for it’s always four o’clock in heaven and the blooms never die.

Can you see her sweet face as she smiles up at Jesus and reaches down to touch the welcoming stone?



Can you see her stand up tall and breathe in the peace and the fragrance of love? Can you see her lift up her arms and twirl round and round? Can you see her dance with childlike abandon as her garden fills up with her new dancing partners?

Grace and Mercy – her devoted garden angels flutter and flash at the edge of her garden … twinkling blue eyes and cherry red cheeks. They lift her up and hold her close, sweet Elizabeth … alone she’ll never be for she dwells today and forevermore tucked safely inside the tender heart of God …

©October 3, 2007 Cindy Foster Serio

Peace ... Be Still!

Here I am still thinking about peace. Consider this passage of Scripture about Jesus and a Storm:
On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, ‘Let us go across to the other side.’ And leaving the crowd behind, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. Other boats were with him. A great gale arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’ Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. He said to them, ‘Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?’ And they were filled with great awe and said to one another, ‘Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?’ Mark 4:35-41

We cannot stop the storms of life from coming, but we can turn to God in the midst of the storm we call life and allow God to speak into it ... Peace! Be Still! I find it easier to live in awareness of God's presence rather than to ride the roller coaster of life acting and reacting as I go. To do that, I spend time in silence ... Try this prayer exercise from BE STILL by Jane Vennard. I find it very effective in my effort to cultivate this kind of presence.

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God”
Set aside some time to sit with this verse in prayer. Repeat the verse leaving off a portion at time. Be silent and spend as long as you can with each phrase (at least 1-2 minutes)

be still and know that I am God
be still and know that I am
be still and know
be still
be ...

Shalom

Have you ever “passed the peace” at a worship service? Recently I have been engaged in a theological conversation about the meaning of this time of greeting. Since I am the one who makes the invitation to this time of communal blessing, I am struggling. It seems that in order to be welcoming we can no longer use certain words … like peace?? Although I am one of the first persons to encourage losing archaic words which no longer have meaning in today’s language, I can’t believe the word peace has lost its meaning to the point that we can no longer use it. I confess I am very uncomfortable inviting people to just stand up and greet one another. What is the purpose of that within the context of the worship of God? Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps I just need to let it go. But first I need to process it and express my thoughts …

The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.

This blessing is found in Numbers 6:24-26. The Hebrew word Shalom is translated peace. I think we tend to think of peace as simply the absence of chaos. However, when we bless others with peace in the sense of shalom we are invoking the deeper meaning of the Hebrew word … completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety, soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, and the absence of agitation or discord. As a Jewish rabbi, this sense of communal harmony of Shalom would have permeated the life of Jesus and informed the way he lived within the Jewish community. When Jesus appeared to the disciples in a post-resurrection episode, he greeted them “Peace be with you!” (See Luke 24:36b) Even though Greek translations use the word Eirene, translated peace and meaning national tranquility, peace between individuals, harmony, security, safety, prosperity, felicity … I am quite sure Jesus actually said Shalom!

As I have been brooding on this issue, I experienced a moment of synchronicity. While I was reading the book we’ll be studying at our next book discussion: You don’t have to be Wrong for me to be Right: Finding Faith without Fanaticism, Brad Hirschfield (who is a Jew) describes an experience he had during the “passing of the peace” at a Catholic Church in Poland. A bishop, knowing that he was present made “a beeline” toward him. Hirschfield says, “He took my hands in his hands and looked deep into my eyes and said, not in Polish, not in English, but in Hebrew, Shalom.” Overwhelmed by this gesture (and others) Hirschfield was moved to tears. And I am personally edified by this incarnational act of grace across lines of faith.

As we engage in the “passing of the peace” in the Christian church, we are not simply greeting one another with an ordinary “hello” that equals the hellos and goodbyes we say all the time without a second thought. We are engaging in a communal act of reconciliation, and we are promoting the general well-being of our community.

Thanks for listening … Peace, Cindy

I was taking a walk on the nature trail at the Wesley Center in Woodworth, Louisiana during a silent retreat in the beginning of October ... the air was cool but not particularly crisp for there was the hint of rain in the air. I traversed an asphalt trail, interrupting the natural habitat of insects and turtles and beavers and so many other creatures of the wild, from one side of the property to the other. The leaves were just beginning to turn but the predominant colors to be seen were brown and green ... colors that speak to me of the cycle of life. The only exception were brilliant yellow daisies that peeked out from the brush as I walked ... a happy "yoo hoo, over here." Yet it was this fallen bit of tree that caught my eye and spoke to me in my silence. What a journey he must have been on! His twisted trunk and his gray pallor lay perfectly in the stillness ... resting from years of natural abuse ... perhaps all that is left from a mighty large oak or more likely a pine in the piney woods. How I would love to know his story and the wisdom of his life. How I would love to sit awhile and share my own story and how I sometimes feel this way on the inside. The silence is different for everyone but there is something about this tree that touched me in mine and brought me a deep sense of the calming presence of God. So ... where have you felt the deep sense of calming presence of God lately?

Remembering ...

I just spent a week with my dad in the hospital. It is hard to see him suffering. As daddy gets weaker, I see him growing older by the minute.

I remember a time when I thought my dad could do anything. Well ... he could.

I remember a time when I never made a decision without asking him what he thought. OK ... maybe I didn't follow his advice but I nearly always asked.

I remember a time when I pursued perfection because he thought I was perfect. Yeah ... what a shock when I found out I wasn't!

Remember ... I love you daddy!

The Sound of Sheer Silence

Have you ever read this passage from 1 Kings 19:11-12? [The Angel of the Lord] said [to Elijah], ‘Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence.

Elijah the prophet had been working his heart out for God ... and he was TIRED! Elijah needed a retreat from all of the chaos that was his life. Have you ever been stuck in the chaos of life? Have you ever been so tired you couldn't even sleep? Have you ever just needed a time away from your life? For me, this is time for a silent retreat ... not a vacation. A vacation leaves me wanting ... but a silent retreat refreshes me.

Have you ever heard the sound of "sheer silence?" For me it is a place where there are no words ... and no errant thoughts ... nothing but gentle presence ... When I see an majestic bird (perhaps an eagle or maybe a falcon) flying and flying and flying up, up, up and then ... it drops into a glide through the air with no effort at all ... that is what dropping into sheer silence is like for me.

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD

FYI: If you have never tried the ancient practice of Lectio Divina ... try out this week's MOSAIC Bible Study

Writing Morning Pages ...

Are you familiar with The Artist Way by Julia Cameron? Last year I began meeting with a group of women ... we call ourselves "Visionary Women." The tagline for our group is: Creativity as a Spiritual Path to God" and we are all artists of some sort or another. Creativity is our passion and deep connection to God. This year we begin another Cameron book called Vein of Gold. Morning pages are an integral part of the process but there has been one large problem for me since the beginning of our group. Morning pages are supposed to be done, well, in the morning! But I am NOT a morning person.

Morning, morning, morning ... what is so great about the morning? Does it count if I do morning pages at one minute after midnight? Technically that IS the morning. I find myself at a place of trying to separate the things that are true from the things that aren't. I wage this battle often within myself as I listen to mature spiritual people say that you must spend time in prayer and devotion in the morning in order to center your day around God. However, I have always found in my own life that is more easily done for me in the quiet of the late night and in so doing, I feel as though I am centering my entire being around God. And so I struggle ... and I wonder if Jesus only called the disciples to "come away to a deserted place" in the morning ...

I am reading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. Her message about writing is much the same as Cameron's. Set a goal and then just write! Stream of consciousness ... Cameron says: Write for 3 pages. Goldberg says: Set a time and write for that amount of time. Goldberg says the aim is to "burn through to first thoughts, to the place where energy is unobstructed by social politeness or the internal censor, to the place where you are writing what your mind actually see and feels, not what it thinks it should see or feel."

Beautiful ... but here I am ... still committed to writing morning pages ... in the morning!