Sunday, May 2, 2010

living water ...

While Jesus was standing there, he cried out,
“Let anyone who is thirsty come to me, 
and let the one who believes in me drink.  
As the scripture has said,
‘Out of the believer’s heart  shall flow rivers of living water.’ ” 
Now he said this about the Spirit, which believers in him were to receive …  
John 7:37b-39a


Water is a powerful symbolic image.  In this passage of Scripture, Jesus uses water as a symbol for the Spirit of God.   I am drawn to Water as a symbol of the Spirit of God drawing different and diversely-gifted people together to form the Body of Christ.

In his book, Steams of Living Water, Richard Foster inspires a beautiful vision of wholeness in the spiritual life.   Using the imagery of water, he articulates six great “Traditions” or ways of living which manifest the spiritual life. He calls them streams and urges one to imagine them flowing together into a mighty river.  He says “in our day God is bringing together a mighty Mississippi of the Spirit.”     It would be easy to race through the book with a mind to label the boxes we put one another in with yet another name which would only serve to keep us drinking the water in our own stream.    However, Foster encourages us to slow down and explore each of these great traditions with an open heart and an open mind for each one presents an aspect of Christian living that can holistically enhance not just our own life but the collective life of the Body of Christ where our differences are respected and diverse spiritual disciplines are practiced as a means to an end rather than just an end in and of themselves.  How many times have I woken up from a chaotic state of being and asked myself

“Why am I doing this – to what end?”   

In longing to answer this universally asked question about the purpose of life, those who float peacefully in the Contemplative Stream might have “becoming one with God” as the desire of their prayer-filled life.   Those who swim daily laps faithfully in the Holiness Stream might have “becoming a person of Godly character” as the object of their virtuous life.   Those who splash joyfully in the Charismatic Stream might have “becoming supernaturally connected to God” as the target of their spirit-empowered life.   Those who fight against the waves in the Social Justice Stream might have “becoming one who sees God in all people” as the aim of their compassionate life.   Those who swim underwater with eyes wide open in the Evangelical Stream might have “becoming one who has spiritual understanding of God” as the ambition of their Word-centered life.   Those who dive deeply in the Incarnational Stream might have “becoming true to the image of God within oneself” as the aspiration of their sacramental life.     Each of these dimensions of the spiritual quest could be freely and forcefully articulated by one through whom the Spirit manifests the presence of God.  

However, if we look deeper we can see that even these goals may fall short of the wholeness of a life lived in that mighty Mississippi of the Spirit if one does not drink deeply of the living water in a different stream, at least once in awhile.   As human beings driven to the supreme mastery of creation, I believe we can become caught up in the pursuit of one way of being to the exclusion of all others.  In some cases this may produce a narrow worldview leading one to believe their way is the only way and sometime to demand that all others follow their way or be swimming in a sea of lost souls!   It may even be possible to find this close-minded attitude underneath a thin veneer of tolerance in one who, while not actively opposing it, refuses to engage in any spiritual practice that is unknown, unfamiliar, and/or uncomfortable.

I've been splashing around aimlessly more times than I care to count ... it is truly a deep, dark, dry place to be, for me ... a place where I am drowning in a sea of self-pity and strife within.  It is a place where I cannot breath, cannot speak, cannot drink ... fighting to make my way up to the surface in order to keep from drowning in my excruciating thirst for God ... again the question cries out in my soul,

“Why am I doing this – to what end?”

Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you 
and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, 
and I would give you living water ...
those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. 
It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”
John 4:10 and 14

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Poetry by Rilke

I just got back from a Kairos Prison Ministry Inside at the Louisiana Correctional Institute for Women. I am full of emotions and yet devoid of feeling.  It was very powerful but overwhelming at the same time.  I am suffering from the lack of process time I have left myself.  My friend Jeanna prayed and anointed me at our Service of Wholeness tonight and I cried for the women who have touched my heart.

As I remember this poem by Rilke I find myself gripped in its melancholic sense of trust as I struggle to surrender long enough to taste the consolation of God ...and remember the women who have touched my heart.      Lord have mercy ... Christ have mercy ...
A Poem by Rainer Maria Rilke, trans. by Br. David Steindl-Rast
Every now and then we let ourselves imagine 
the worst that could happen to us: 
How could we survive?  
This testimony of dedication and trust 
attests to an enduring relationship 
that goes beyond our vision, 
our hearing, 
our speech, 
our mobility, 
and even our ability to think...
a relationship which cannot be extinguished. 
In the sureness of this relationship – 
and our ability to surrender to it – 
lies consolation beyond measure.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Shakespeare Garden

Today I walked in the Shakespeare Garden at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary (G-ETS), which is where I have spent so many weeks here and there reading and studying and writing for a long list of classes.  Since I graduated in 2009 I have been back a couple of times and it always makes me feel a sense of peace.

After Hurricane Katrina in 2005, G-ETS was the only stable place in my life.  I was living part-time in Houston, part-time in New Orleans, and part-time visiting my daughter who was in boarding school and sitting with my mom who was in the process of dying.  My life was highly unstable ... on any given day I could find myself in any of these places.  I lived out of a suitcase for about 6 months.  Yet in the midst of all of the chaos, GET-S was there and for 2 week intervals I was able to leave my life behind.  I like to study and I like to write and I like the silence found in a gentle garden.  When I "found" the Shakespeare Garden one summer day, I was mesmerized by its beauty.

When I got here, I rushed to see if there was life yet in the garden ...



and purple flowers

and the most gorgeous yellow flowers

And o what a shower 
of little pink flowers
emerge in the silence of a cool spring day ...
 
rounding the corner ... 
what joy and delight to find this furry little bunny ...
my friend on the journey ... 
may your day be filled with silence and flowers 
and gentle surprises ... Peace, Cindy

Sunday, April 4, 2010

A Prayer for Easter Sunday

God of New Beginnings ... In Christ you take all of our sorrow and transform us into people of contentment.  You take our wounds and heal them so that we are whole human beings.  Take away any resentment that we may have against those who have wounded us.  Forgive us for any wounds that we have caused and help us to make amends.  While we do not take joy in the pain of the world, we rejoice in the potential for growth as the Spirit comforts and guides us.  We believe you resurrected Jesus and gave us all new life after all of the pain and suffering he endured because of your love for us.  We believe we can rise with Christ into new life today and every day as we serve you and welcome your reign in this world.  Fill our lives with the light of Christ so that others may know that you live!  Amen. Hallelujah!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

A Saturday Reflection for an Easter Vigil ...

Several years ago I was on vacation with my husband, Joe.  On this very sunny and warm day, we were walking down a busy street in San Antonio, Texas.  There were so many people ... desperately trying to get where they were going and so were we.  I walked by a homeless man who was calling out, "a dollar, please just a dollar ..."  Yet, I walked by but then ... I stopped about a block down the way.  In that world of hustling and bustling, for just a moment, the world stood still for me. 

I pulled out my wallet and looked inside.  I had a $1 bill and a $20 bill and a choice to make.  So ... what do you think I did?   I chose the $1 bill ... hey, that is what he asked for.  I gave my handbag to Joe and said, "I'll be back in a minute."  He just stood there patiently while I ran off on another tangent.  He is used to it.  I walked back to that particular homeless man and reached out my hand with the $1 bill, feeling rather pleased with myself at all my effort and good intentions.  At the very moment of my most inner self-glorification, this homeless man looked deep into my soul as he said in one of the kindest voices I have ever heard, "God bless you, lady."  He meant it.  I knew it.  And the fingers of shame crawled up the back of my neck as I tingled all over.  

I couldn't get this particular homeless man out of my mind nor my heart.  Obviously I still can't!  As Joe slept peacefully that afternoon, I prayed with all of the mixed emotions churning inside me ... and I wrote in my journal.

As I meditated on the Gospel reading for Easter Day, which is John 20:1-18, suddenly I remembered my conversation with God ... and I proclaim with Mary, "I have seen the Lord!"   I hope you enjoy this excerpt from my journal ... and the drawing that emerged in my time of meditation today. 

A Homeless Man
There was a homeless man
There’s always a homeless man!
A man without a name
you gave a dollar
you walked away
Sweet conviction overwhelms me
I can’t hear your voice
I know not what to do
a man…sitting
you…standing
in front of McDonald’s
could you not have 
walked him in
bought a meal
sat awhile
heard his story 
listened to him 
loved him
that man 
is special 
to Me
that man 
could have been 
special 
to you
He was…  He is…
not enough
not nearly 
enough
Regrets…Dreams…
Confusion…Chaos
The need is so great
I have no answers
Yet I know you call…me
“I can’t” too often my response  
prepare yourself
be ready  
for when I call
there is  
always an answer
always a path 
to follow
if you will seek
you will find
the Name is Jesus © 2004 Cindy Foster Serio
© 2010 Cindy Foster Serio

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Holy Friday

Is it possible to drown
in my sorrow and grief

Is it possible to cry a river
and go underneath
never to resurface

Is it possible the grief abides within
a constant companion

Is it possible I cannot be
who I am
without my sorrow
 © 2004 Cindy Foster Serio

Holy Thursday


Jesus, my Lord and friend
Are you going to wash my feet?
Dusty, dirty, tired and bare
It’s much too hard to receive
Your tender love and gentle care
Jesus, my Teacher and companion
Are you going to cleanse my soul?
Musty, fearful, lonely and dark
It’s much too hard to reveal
Who I am in reality so stark
Jesus, my redeemer and savior 
© 2010 Cindy Foster Serio

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

What does the next moment hold ... really?

WOW!  Yesterday was quite a day.  

There I was sitting at a red light behind an 18-wheeler at a major intersection: Texas Hwy 99 and FM 1093 in Fort Bend County.  I looked up in my rear view mirror and noticed that the 18-wheeler coming up behind me wasn't slowing down ... honestly my mind went blank and I braced myself thinking that my daughter and I would be no long alive in the next moment ... unwilling filler in an 18-wheel sandwich.

Suddenly the driver swerved to the right and I quickly inched up and over as far as I could with the vehicles surrounding me perilously close.  boom! we are jarred as our vehicle was hit by the back of the trailer. We turned our heads slowly to the right to watch as the truck was driven up the concrete embankment.  It stopped at the top with a pregnant pause when suddenly the wheels were moving again back in our direction.  Slowly the truck begins a harrowing roll over toward us.  It seemed as if time entered a slow motion tunnel.  All we can do is watch without knowing if we'd have another moment of life.  Time stood still for a millisecond as the dirt rained down upon us and the truck stopped its roll ... about 6 inches from our vehicle.  I think Katie screamed while it happened and I know I hyperventilated when it was all over.  And all I can do today as I rub my sore muscles is


PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!
AND ARE WE YET ALIVE!
PS:  the brakes had failed ... the truck driver walked away without a scratch ... It's a miracle.

As we move toward Palm Sunday and Holy Week ... I continue to ask myself ... what does the next moment hold ... really?  Life is precious and fleeting.  Enjoy what you have while you have it ... knowing that resurrection awaits...

Peace, Cindy

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Letting go of those last 2 points ... on the Labyrinth

I have spent a lot of years striving for those last "2 points."  When I was growing up I loved school and I was a really outstanding student.  Yet when I came home with a 98 on a test, my dad always said, "What about those last 2 points?"   I just couldn't seem to get the perfect "100."  I always seemed to leave those last 2 points on the table.  

Recently I have had some interaction with a person who reminds me of my dad and those last 2 points.  Don't get me wrong!  My dad is wonderful and I am the person I am because I do keep trying and trying and trying.  That I keep trying isn't the problem.  That I can't seem to let go is the problem.  Nothing I do seems to be enough ... for the me I used to be.   And suddenly I am not the me I am today ... I am the me I used to be, striving for those last 2 points again!  
 
Sometimes several streams of living water flow together to cleanse us of destructive messages such as the one I've been living with most of my life and that has become such a profound struggle recently.  

On Saturday I attended a Kairos Prison Ministry team meeting and was blessed to lead a meditation called "the Rock Altar."   Each person chose a rock to represent our distractions and struggles ... our burdens ... anything that sought to take our attention off of God.  I couldn't seem to put my finger on any specifics that day ... I was too distracted!  I did feel a general sense that I needed to let go of ... something.  At the end of the meditation, we acknowledged the risen Christ that lives and walks among us in the present moment.

Yesterday morning, I shared a Lenten reflection by Henri Nouwen with our church staff.  Our reflection ended with a time of sharing.  As we shared with one another we were encouraged to "let go" of our worries, especially as we struggled with things we have no control over, in order to live in the present moment of each new day.  Let go ... and live in the "now."

Last night I walked the labyrinth.  Before we walked we meditated on Luke 18:15-17 ... Jesus said, "Let the children come to me."   I put out different colors of play-do at the entrance and sprinkled small, colorful "cross" erasers in the center.   I chose a neon green blob of play-do for my walk and I began squeezing and kneading that little blob ... As I walked the way in to release, I realized that I needed to let go of some very silly little things that had began to grow and take form.  I began to feel very burdened with my emotions.  

As I entered the center of the labyrinth and sat down, I picked up a tiny cross and then another one.  Then, I recieved a word ... "Let go of those last 2 points."    As the emotions rushed forth, I flattened out my play-do so I could press those little crosses into the mushy green goo.  It was a wonderful little symbol of "letting go."  I wanted to take it with me to remember!  

After sitting there for quite awhile, resting in the light of God's amazing grace ... it was time to return.  Suddenly as I prepared to leave the center, I realized that to really (really) let go of those last 2 points I had to let go of the symbol ... and leave it behind ... but that was hard. My body didn't want to leave those last 2 points behind.   

Slowly, slowly, slowly ... I returned ... stopping here, stopping there ... 2 steps forward, 1 step back.   And so the dance of life goes on ... and on ... and on

Dear friends ... what is it in your life that you just can't seem to let go?

How might God be inviting you to dance today? 

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Let nothing disturb you ...

“Let nothing disturb you; 
Let nothing dismay you; 
All thing pass; 
God never changes. 
Patience attains all that it strives for. 
One who has God Finds nothing lacking: 
God alone suffices.”  

Nada te turbe. 
Nada te espante.  
Todo se pasa. 
Dios no se muda.  
La paciencia todo lo alcanza.  
Quien a Dios tiene nada le falta.  
Sólo Dios basta.
 
A quote (adapted) from Teresa of Avila (1515-1585)