What does the next moment hold ... really?

WOW!  Yesterday was quite a day.  

There I was sitting at a red light behind an 18-wheeler at a major intersection: Texas Hwy 99 and FM 1093 in Fort Bend County.  I looked up in my rear view mirror and noticed that the 18-wheeler coming up behind me wasn't slowing down ... honestly my mind went blank and I braced myself thinking that my daughter and I would be no long alive in the next moment ... unwilling filler in an 18-wheel sandwich.

Suddenly the driver swerved to the right and I quickly inched up and over as far as I could with the vehicles surrounding me perilously close.  boom! we are jarred as our vehicle was hit by the back of the trailer. We turned our heads slowly to the right to watch as the truck was driven up the concrete embankment.  It stopped at the top with a pregnant pause when suddenly the wheels were moving again back in our direction.  Slowly the truck begins a harrowing roll over toward us.  It seemed as if time entered a slow motion tunnel.  All we can do is watch without knowing if we'd have another moment of life.  Time stood still for a millisecond as the dirt rained down upon us and the truck stopped its roll ... about 6 inches from our vehicle.  I think Katie screamed while it happened and I know I hyperventilated when it was all over.  And all I can do today as I rub my sore muscles is

PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!
AND ARE WE YET ALIVE!

PS:  the brakes had failed ... the truck driver walked away without a scratch ... It's a miracle.

As we move toward Palm Sunday and Holy Week ... I continue to ask myself ... what does the next moment hold ... really?  Life is precious and fleeting.  Enjoy what you have while you have it ... knowing that resurrection awaits...

Peace, Cindy

Letting go of those last 2 points ... on the Labyrinth

I have spent a lot of years striving for those last "2 points."  When I was growing up I loved school and I was a really outstanding student.  Yet when I came home with a 98 on a test, my dad always said, "What about those last 2 points?"   I just couldn't seem to get the perfect "100."  I always seemed to leave those last 2 points on the table.  

Recently I have had some interaction with a person who reminds me of my dad and those last 2 points.  Don't get me wrong!  My dad is wonderful and I am the person I am because I do keep trying and trying and trying.  That I keep trying isn't the problem.  That I can't seem to let go is the problem.  Nothing I do seems to be enough ... for the me I used to be.   And suddenly I am not the me I am today ... I am the me I used to be, striving for those last 2 points again!  

 

Sometimes several streams of living water flow together to cleanse us of destructive messages such as the one I've been living with most of my life and that has become such a profound struggle recently.  

On Saturday I attended a Kairos Prison Ministry team meeting and was blessed to lead a meditation called "the Rock Altar."   Each person chose a rock to represent our distractions and struggles ... our burdens ... anything that sought to take our attention off of God.  I couldn't seem to put my finger on any specifics that day ... I was too distracted!  I did feel a general sense that I needed to let go of ... something.  At the end of the meditation, we acknowledged the risen Christ that lives and walks among us in the present moment.

Yesterday morning, I shared a Lenten reflection by Henri Nouwen with our church staff.  Our reflection ended with a time of sharing.  As we shared with one another we were encouraged to "let go" of our worries, especially as we struggled with things we have no control over, in order to live in the present moment of each new day.  Let go ... and live in the "now."

Last night I walked the labyrinth.  Before we walked we meditated on Luke 18:15-17 ... Jesus said, "Let the children come to me."   I put out different colors of play-do at the entrance and sprinkled small, colorful "cross" erasers in the center.   I chose a neon green blob of play-do for my walk and I began squeezing and kneading that little blob ... As I walked the way in to release, I realized that I needed to let go of some very silly little things that had began to grow and take form.  I began to feel very burdened with my emotions.  

As I entered the center of the labyrinth and sat down, I picked up a tiny cross and then another one.  Then, I recieved a word ... "Let go of those last 2 points."    As the emotions rushed forth, I flattened out my play-do so I could press those little crosses into the mushy green goo.  It was a wonderful little symbol of "letting go."  I wanted to take it with me to remember!  

After sitting there for quite awhile, resting in the light of God's amazing grace ... it was time to return.  Suddenly as I prepared to leave the center, I realized that to really (really) let go of those last 2 points I had to let go of the symbol ... and leave it behind ... but that was hard. My body didn't want to leave those last 2 points behind.   

Slowly, slowly, slowly ... I returned ... stopping here, stopping there ... 2 steps forward, 1 step back.   And so the dance of life goes on ... and on ... and on

Dear friends ... what is it in your life that you just can't seem to let go?

How might God be inviting you to dance today? 

Let nothing disturb you ...

“Let nothing disturb you; 

Let nothing dismay you; 

All thing pass; 

God never changes. 

Patience attains all that it strives for. 

One who has God Finds nothing lacking: 

God alone suffices.”  

Nada te turbe. 

Nada te espante.  

Todo se pasa. 

Dios no se muda.  

La paciencia todo lo alcanza.  

Quien a Dios tiene nada le falta.  

Sólo Dios basta.

 

A quote (adapted) from Teresa of Avila (1515-1585)

Centering Prayer ...

Hidden God, ever present to me,

     may I now be present to you,

          attentive to your every word,

          attuned to you inspirations,

          alert to your touch.

Empty me that I may be filled with you alone.

A Prayer by Ms. Patricia B. Clark

Women's Uncommon Prayers: Our Lives Revealed, Nurtured, Celebrated

Centering Prayer by Thomas Keating ...

Nothing is more beautiful than the uniqueness that God has created.

You don't have to create the beauty - you’ve got the beauty.

You don't have to create the freedom - you’ve got it.

You don't have to create the image of God in you - you have it.

You don't have to win over God’s love - you have more than you know what to do with.

Thomas Keating, 'Centering Prayer,'
Heartfulness: Transformation in Christ

Remember who you are: An Ash Wednesday Meditation

When I was younger, I would pull out a map when I needed to go somewhere.  First, I looked for where I was.  Then I would look for where I wanted to be.  Then I would map out my route.  Then a few years later ... I found mapquest.  Then I had to know where I was by address and the address where I wanted to be and mapquest mapped out my journey for me.  Well, just a few months ago I got a GPS ... a global positioning system.  I still have to know where I am and where I want to be, but the lovely GPS lady tells me where I am and tell me every move to make on my way to where I want to be!  Well, traveling from one place to another has gotten a whole lot easier ... BUT ... you still need to know where you start in order to get where you are going.

As we begin our journey through the season of lent, we orient ourselves on Ash Wednesday. 
Who are we?  We are dust … we are nothing ... but dust! 

Perhaps dust has no value in the eyes of the world.   In the world, your value is measured by what you do, how much you produce, how beautiful you are, what kind of car you drive or what kind of house you live in, how smart you are … OR how smart your kids are!  This is not the kind of value I am talking about …This is value the way the world sees it … 

In Matthew 6:6 Jesus says, "whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

Regarding our spiritual life, Jesus tells us it is what you don’t see that is valuable … God sees “in secret” God sees what no one else sees … God sees who you really are … God loves you in spite of that … God loves you because of that … God sees the man or the woman that you were created to be from the dust … and in God’s eyes, even the dust has value … Because the dust has value … you have value!

The problem comes when we buy into the world’s view of value and we put a relative value on people, including ourselves.  We fall short when we fail to value people in the way God values people … we fall short when we begin to see people as commodities to be used and abused for our own good.   When we fail to value people the way God values people we fail to value God … this is when we tumble into sin … only by spending time with God in the secret can we begin to see what God sees, to value what God values and only by spending time with God in the secret can we come to love God above all other things and to love others as we love ourselves.  Only by spending time with God in the secret can we begin to see what sin truly is and how it destroys our lives and the lives of others.  

And the good news is that when we seek God’s forgiveness in Christ … we are forgiven.   And we begin again.  There is something very cyclical about the spiritual life … we live in an almost never-ending cycle of endings and beginnings. Today is Ash Wednesday.  It is a beginning … the beginning of Lent … a time of self-reflection and spiritual formation.

Are you ready to take your Lenten journey?  Well, pick up a map ... we need to know where are we!

I am dust and to dust I will return.

Dear ones ... remember who you are …  you are dust, and to dust you will return ... Amen.

Who dat?

Who dat?
Who dat say dey gonna beat dem saints?
Who dat?


Well friends ... I can't believe it!!!
They went all the way!!!


I'm missing all my friends in New Orleans ...
I know you be dancin ... o yeah!

Check out this video on YouTube:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnkLfYk_ff8&feature=youtube_gdata

Pondering a quote from Howard Thurman

“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself.   It is the only true guide you will ever have.   And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.”

Howard Thurman, theologian and civil rights leader

How can one hear the "sound of the genuine" in oneself if not to spend time in the silence until the voices of the world are banished from the consciousness.   Sometimes it seems impossible.  The host of voices screaming and the plethora of strings pulling at the soul ... surely one must be strong not to give in to the constant barrage of relentless intrusion.  

These days I find I have not the strength to do it ... pray with me, dear friends, as I enter into the silence seeking the "sound of the genuine" with this breath prayer from Luke 5:5b ... breathing in "if you say so" breathing out "I will" 

Seagulls, Duckies, and Geese ... O My!

Here I am in Chicago and it's a little chilly ... Brrrr!  Actually at 28 degrees it is quite balmy today.   I am taking a 2-week intensive class on "missional preaching" at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, IL (a suburb of Chicago) which is nestled in the heart of Northwestern University.  Anyway, let me tell you about my adventure walking by the lake these last few days.

Beyond these trees is Lake Michigan

I could walk to see Lake Michigan ... maybe I will before I leave but it isn't nearly as interesting as this interior Lake on the campus where the beautiful koi fish swim in the summer ... did you know they'll survive as long as the lake isn't frozen solid?  The first day I was amazed at the seagulls gathered on the ice!

Right next to where they are standing you can see behind them the only spot on the lake that isn't frozen ... I can only assume that there is some kind of warmth from the building that is close to the lake at that particular point.  So who do you think is splashing around in the water right beside them?

A community of mallard ducks!

Then next what should I see but the ducks getting curious and making their way up the bank of the Lake ...

And where should they go but a patch of muddy grassy close to the street ... ok, not sure why but they did this three days in a row.  It was lunchtime.  I wonder if they were looking for the food that we normally throw into the lake in the summer ...

He looks ...  

She looks ... 

I thought I had seen it all yet today ... a new set of friends joined the party.  Check this out!

 

Canadian Geese

I guess they are on their way south and decided to stop over.  I know you can't tell by these pictures but these guys are HUGE!  And maybe they were scary too for the poor ducks who didn't go to their muddy place today save one little brave mallard boy on his way!

These beautiful creatures have piqued my curiosity and made me laugh.  Some days they ignore me and some days they talk to me ... quack quack quack.  For sure they have kept me company.  These days when I have been on my own they have become my companions praising God.

St. Francis of Assisi is said to have preached to the birds ..."My brothers, birds, you should praise your Creator very much and always love him; he gave you feathers to clothe you, wings so that you can fly, and whatever else was necessary for you.  God made you noble among his creatures, and he gave you a home in the purity of the air..."   

St. Francis also said,  "Preach the gospel always, If necessary use words."   This week the birds have preached the gospel to me and they didn't have to say a word!

Thank you Brothers AND Sisters Birds ...

The God-Mother of Creativity

Ah, dear ones ... I cannot leave you with visions of murder in your minds!  The second part of the exercise from Julia Cameron's Vein of Gold is to "celebrate a creative champion."  These are the voices that encourage us and help us to see ourselves as our Creator sees us, made in the beautiful image of God.  These creative champions nurture our inner child through all of the ups and downs of life and help us reach our potential.  As I close my eyes to begin the creative process I think this story will be more sweet than funny ...

As my final encounter with the Emotion Policewoman left me exhausted I fell into a deep sleep and the cartoonish fantasyland transformed itself into dreamland as I slept ... and slept and slept some more.  It takes a long time to create dreamland with silk and gossamer strands into a sparkling scene.  Crystal clear splashes of living water dot the landscape of greenery and flowers of all different colors.

The gentle sound of the native american flute floats into my consciousness and I wake and rise to sway back and forth in the gentle breeze like a reed that bends but does not break.  Light floods my mind and I feel ... I feel!

Suddenly I am filled with a warmth I've not felt before and a hear a willowy whisper ... "How do you feel?"  O I feel ... understood.  I look for the voice but all I can see is the bright shining light of the sun ... the radiant rays dancing on the surface of the pools of water.  Who are you?  I am your God-Mother, dear one and I understand you. 

As I walk through the flowers, I feel her presence with me.  As I pause from my wandering and take a deep breath the light envelops me ... "How do you feel?  O I feel loved.  Where are you, God-Mother?  I am here, dear one and I love you.

Basking in the light of this strange and amazing love, I reach down to touch the velvety petals of sparkling pink flowers and marvel at their perfection.  She reaches out to embrace my being and I find strange desires welling up from within.  How do you feel?  O I feel like writing.  Why do I feel like writing, God-Mother?   Ahhhh ... because I created you to be a great writer and I have filled you with curiosity and a sense of wonder.  

It is so peaceful in dreamland!