Prayer and Tradition

I had a very thought provoking conversation today with one of my wisest confidantes:) I've been deep in thought about prayer ever since ... and praying along the way. I've been thinking about the habit of my little family to say the meal blessing that my husband grew up with in his large Catholic family: Bless us, O Lord, in these thy gifts that we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen. I think some people might find fault with repetition in prayer, but I am blessed by the gentle comfort of these well-worn words. In their simplicity, they give me the space to rest in a deep place of thanksgiving. Remember when Jesus looked toward heaven, blessed some bread and a few fish ... there was such an abundance that a multitude of people were fed. (Luke 9:16) I remember my beautiful little family growing up together saying these words ... It was a regular daily act of thanksgiving and family worship. Somehow it is as if all of the generations of my husband's family are all there with us ... the communion of saints ... and we are blessed to be wrapped in the heart of God.

What lies beyond the horizon?

Always looking beyond the horizon ... I seem to be. I do so want to know and know and know ... what lies ahead? And yet I hear Isaiah's words (43:1) lingering somewhere in the darkness of my unknowing "Fear not for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name. You are mine." For some odd reason these words comfort me. They whisper gently to me a sense that I am a part of something beyond the horizon of my own self, something ethereal and illusive. Ah ... the more I know God the more I know I don't know ... God! Perhaps this is the darkness that the author of The Cloud of Unknowing speaks.

"Do not suppose that because I have spoken of darkness and of a cloud I have in mind the clouds you see in an overcast sky or the darkness of your house when your candle fails…. When I speak of darkness, I mean the absence of knowledge. If you are unable to understand something or if you have forgotten it, are you not in the dark as regards this thing? You cannot see it with your mind's eye. Well, in the same way, I have not said "cloud," but cloud of unknowing. For it is a darkness of unknowing that lies between you and your God."

from The Cloud of Unknowing

Perhaps the darkness of unknowing lies between us or perhaps darkness, as painful as it may often be, is simply the place I lie within my God ... trusting in the One to whom I belong.

O Darkness my Love
I’m overwhelmed by my pain
Wrapped in its grip … Bound by its fingers
I search for the light … That simply won’t shine within me

O Darkness my Love
You’ll never leave me … Wrap me and stab me
And love me and keep me
I love you … I hate you

O Darkness my Love
You spin me round … You turn me upside down
Won’t you swallow my pain … And dance with me now

O Darkness my Love
In the depths of my soul I wait ... Star light, star bright
Come to my rescue … And shine the way out

But Darkness my Love
You won’t let me go … You’re all that I know
In the depths of my soul

O Darkness my Love
I long for freedom …It eludes me – You laugh!
For you know I’ll never leave … Your warm embrace

My Darkness my Love

© 2009 Cindy Foster Serio

the dream that won't let go

Have you ever had a dream that just wouldn't let you go? I think this kind of dream is a calling. Elusively it comes, in bits and pieces, sometimes gently and sometimes violently. I think this is just the way a life well-lived unfolds. Finally perhaps the bits and pieces fall into a place called beauty.

My dream and my calling is Mosaic Spiritual Formation Ministry ... Creating Beauty from the Broken Pieces of Life. Check out my website at http://mosaicspiritualformationministry.org

Poor Poor Limb What is Your Story?

I prayed with nature today ...

I searched and I looked and I finally found a suitable prayer partner ...

Poor Poor limb
What is your story?
Where have you been and
Where are you going?
Very beautiful you are dear one
Yet even I see that you're covered
with parasites grey.
Is that why you fell straight to the ground?
Too much they are for you to hold.
What were your hopes before you were invaded?
Did you cling to your dear Mother Tree?
Did you dream of growing out and reaching up
to Father Sun warm and bright?
What fun did you have with your
big brothers branch and your
sweet sister leaves?
How many did you lose before you gave up too?
And became my Poor Poor Limb ...

© 2009 Cindy Foster Serio

God of all Creation, thank you for my poor poor limb and the lessons of nature she taught me! As I held her and stroked her and gazed at her ... I heard her gently whisper ... God is Love!

What makes you come alive?

"Don't ask what the world needs.
Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Howard Thurman

Each evening I engage in a "daily examen." Very simply, I consider the events of my day, and I ask myself "What was life-giving?" and "what was life-draining?" As I experience the examen as a spiritual exercise, over time I find that it helps me to figure out just what it is that makes me come alive ... this is not a pattern that emerges quickly or clearly for this is a matter of the soul and mine needs much safety to share her wisdom.

Wisdom that arises from the soul doesn't always make sense. It doesn't always fit in a box but it might look great in a mosaic! In the last couple of days I have encountered God disguised as a "weeping woman." Each one in such deep pain that I could only hold the space with her ... no answers will you find here ... just simple presence as Spirit envelops us. The prophet Jeremiah (29:12-14a) writes a message from God to seekers like me

"when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you.
When you search for me, you will find me;
if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord"

Seeking God ... Finding God ... in the most unlikely people and places. This is what makes me alive! So I think I must go to the most unlikely places ...

Here I am, Send me!

¹³¹⁴

So dear friends ... what makes you come alive?

I'd love to hear from you if you'd care to share ...

Panama Reflection

Have you ever been on a mission trip? There is just something about leaving your own culture behind to embrace humanity in a different part of the world (even a different part of the city will do I'm sure) meeting lots of different people who talk in another language (that you can't understand by the way) and who live in a different way (a lot simpler no doubt) ...

it's a mosaic experience!

We are celebrating our mission trip this Sunday so I've written this reflection from snipets in my journal to share my experience ... I thought I would share my reflection with you:

Panama … let the mission journey begin

hope emerges
for a time filled with beauty
here to be changed
i know not how
with God’s healing grace
broken hearts mend strong
in the liminal space
between what was
and what will be

rushing water of the river rolls on
chisels the rocks
till they’re shiny and smooth
foaming spray
and bouncing droplets
refresh the weary traveler
deep waters of the soul
bring forth flowers of delight

day by day
soaking rains fall
from the cloudy grey sky
lush vegetation
palm trees and hibiscus
as far as the eye can see
life abundant emerges
a profusion of beauty
touches the heart
with healing confusion

children hungry children
sadness seasons the experience
compassion wells up within
the voice of justice whispers
arising in the mist
of long-forgotten memories
a broken heart
frees the gentle breeze
to sweep through my soul

as I make my way
on the path toward home
from Panama ...

© 2009 Cindy Foster Serio

I have no idea where I am going ...

My God, My God, "I have no idea where I am going" ... this is a line from a prayer in one of my favorite books for a sabbath day ... Dialogues with Silence by Thomas Merton. It is actually quoted from another of his books ... Thoughts in Solitude.

In this prayer, Merton goes on to say some very comforting words to me and to people like me ... people who are never sure about anything. Merton says to God, "I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you." And I am counting on that ... because I have a really deep desire to take a journey with God!

I am taking the first step on this journey ... a journey that I am not ready for ... a journey that may lead me into my deepest desire. The deepest desire of my weary soul is to be in union with God being what I was created to be and doing what I was created to do. Yet for some reason I feel lost and so I walk with Merton and cry out ... My God, My God, "I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost ... for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me ..."

Trembling with feeble trust it is time to take a deep breath as I put myself out there in the world with MOSAIC Spiritual Formation Ministry ... Creating Beauty out of the Broken Pieces of Life.